Hi, Rob.
That's a very nice welcome.
I'm feeling better.
I think you're a surprise.
You didn't know he was here, right?
All right.
You were a surprise.
So they're very happy.
I like that.
It's good to see you.
I was going to come visit you this weekend.
Sheryl said y'all were just hanging out at the house.
And I wanted to come see how my car is.
So yeah, Ellen can sell anything to anybody.
That's not true.
It is-- it's very true.
I was working out at my gym in my house.
And Sheryl and Ellen were playing, I think, tennis.
And the next thing you know, I own Ellen's Porsche.
I don't know how it-- it was the most expensive ride I've ever
had on my Peloton.
Yeah.
Well, you wouldn't get off the Peloton.
Sheryl really wanted to buy the car.
And anyway.
But yeah.
Can I tell you something?
I am obsessed with it.
It's a great car.
Yeah, and I drive it like it's meant to be driven.
Sheryl drives it like--
it's, like, you know, don't kill yourself, honey.
And I'm like, it's a Porsche.
Let's go.
Yeah.
So Johnny is-- first of all, he's writing for Ryan Murphy.
And remind me again what he went to college for?
This is my son, John Owen.
He graduated with straight A's at Stanford.
Got in because he was the earliest intern in Eli Broad
stem cell laboratory.
Got out and decided he wanted to be in Hollywood.
And I wanted to kill myself.
Yeah.
But he's working.
He's not like-- you know, he's working for Ryan Murphy.
He's writing.
He's a very smart kid, and he's doing great.
And Matthew--
Matthew Lowe, my oldest, just passed the bar, the California
bar.
I mean, that's fantastic.
It's one of the hardest tests in the world.
And he's carrying on a good legacy.
Because my dad's an attorney.
And I only play them on television.
That's right.
Well, but you play them well.
Thank you so much.
All right, so Johnny is backstage.
Because his boys, you know, basically always comment
on your Instagram posts.
They troll me, I think, as the kids call it.
Yes, they do.
They troll you.
So Johnny-- Hi, Johnny.
Johnny is backstage right now.
And so he's going to watch this entire interview
and comment as we go.
It's going to be brutal.
So yeah.
All right, so let's just talk about-- first of all,
let's start with this, Johnny.
This will be a good one.
People's Sexiest Man Alive issue.
You are in here for Sexy at Every Age.
Yeah.
See, I think the "At Every Age" thing
is kind of a backhanded compliment.
Well, it's a compliment.
It doesn't matter.
It means you're sexy at every-- but you
could have been like-- uh-oh.
What's happening?
He's writing.
In my 50s.
Thanks, Johnny.
I know how old I am.
You don't need to--
oh, ask how many times-- you know.
He's been on the cover.
You haven't been on the cover.
And it's not for lack of examples why you should be.
Let's show some examples of what somebody should have
seen to put him on the cover.
I've never been Sexiest Man Alive.
Never.
There's that.
Never.
There's that.
Never have I been.
Never.
It's always been somebody sexier.
Right.
And I'm very angry about it.
Yeah.
I think the only reason I've not been Sexiest Man Alive.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about it.
I blame Russian collusion.
Honestly, that's what I blame.
Yeah, because there's no reason why not.
No.
This election I should have won.
All right.
Come on.
There you go.
That's my little sweet Beau.
Look at you, being in an uncomfortable position
to make your dog--
Johnny, that's only encouraging them to do that.
Yeah.
All right, there's a picture of you
with a giant-- is this a turtle or a tortoise?
It's a tortoise.
This is at the Galápagos Islands.
How old is that thing?
They do not know.
But it's probably 150 years.
Yeah.
How old-- they lived-- like, 200 years old?
They honestly don't truly know how old they can live to be.
But that is obviously a big boy right there.
That is incredible.
Uh-oh.
All right.
I mean--
All right.
I mean, what are you going to do?
I don't know.
Let's change the subject.
I mean--
Let's talk about the holidays.
Their house is so lovely.
And it's so cozy for the holidays.
Have you started decorating?
Well, you know I have an obsession.
And you know me.
Like, the house--
I'm not really involved in the house.
I live in the house.
I love the house.
But that's Sheryl's domain.
But when it comes to the Christmas tree,
I am all over it.
I'm obsessed with it drying out too soon.
We can--
Like, that's my-- what is it?
No, but he's right about this.
I have like a phobia about the pine needles
getting brittle and fall, and then it's
going to be flammable.
But there's things-- you can put, like, 7Up in the water.
You know my trick?
It's half 7Up, half water.
Yes.
And I am obsessed with this.
This is like all I care about during the holidays.
So do you time it out where-- did you buy the tree already,
or are you waiting to closer to Christmas?
You've got to wait till-- you gotta wait till--
you can't do it now, because it will dry out, no matter how
much 7 Up and water you put in.
Because of the heat in the house and everything?
That's right.
Exactly.
Right.
And then are you the kind of person
who-- do you get rid of the tree,
like, the day after Christmas, or do you leave it
up all through January?
Sheryl and I don't disagree on much, but we disagree on that.
I'd like to have a little after glow.
She literally has that tree out of the house
by lunch on Christmas day.
I understand.
I don't understand people who put it up too soon
and keep it too long.
I think it's-- you know, there's a good time--
It says a lot about you.
I think how you handle your Christmas
tree says a lot about you.
I really do.
What does it say about me?
Well, how do you handle yours?
How do I handle my tree?
Yes.
That is none of your business how I handle my tree.
We have to take a break.
More with Rob after this.