welcome to the TV I'm gonna go straight
in with the big questions Ashley what do
you think is gonna happen in the next
four weeks oh I mean I think the only
way that everyone's gonna be happy is if
nobody's happy then every will be happy
because no one's happy because that's
fair yeah so I think there's a high
likelihood that nobody's gonna be happy
and so everyone will be fine okay so no
one's left out yeah so no one's left out
the worst thing that can happen is when
someone else is having a good time and
you're not so I really feel like there's
gonna be a real plus for Humanity where
everyone just coming really measure on
her like that's how it should be
[Laughter]
listen this the government was
malfunctioning they didn't have a
majority so we technically didn't have a
working government so we absolutely had
to have an election but this is very
much the colonoscopy of olay habit but
we know it's not gonna be any fun here's
a question because I mean no one really
knows what to call this election I
noticed some of the News's are calling
it the muses users I've been watching
the news
call the news in Australia
you're watching the news here's the
storm ZZZ what are we getting to see
what your future job is gonna be
it's been called the brexit election and
that does not excite anyone yes so I
think our poll for tonight is what
should we call it let's come up with a
better name for it is anyone got any
suggestions I'm sticking with
colonoscopy but camera election this is
a camera up the anus of Britain with all
of us just looking at
I was Eton Mess I genuinely don't know
who to vote for of this election I'm
genuinely struggling especially out of
the two main parties do I vote for the
party accused of anti-semitism or the
party accused of neglecting vulnerable
people I'm kind of looking at all with
real selection boxes option at the
moment I kind of feel like I'm in a
restaurant and a weight has come up and
gone right do you want the steak that's
been dropped on the floor or the chicken
that the chef sneezed on what are the
Greens like the thing that I find
difficult to take is when people go I
can't vote for labor because of concerns
I have about racism so I'm going to vote
for Boris Johnson my stepmother is a bit
mean so I think I'm gonna live with
Darth Vader yeah the whole thing does
feel a bit like a divorced couple even
your mom going on in saying vote for
Boris that's such a thing to do
you know until we were like well we're
breaking up but everything's about the
kids and we're not gonna let it get
nasty
and it's all gonna be fine and then like
five months they she's like you tell
your father then I was having sex with
the neighbor last night
and I was making loads and noise and you
tell him that when he picks you up from
the crash Labor's a deputy later Tom
Watson resigned on Wednesday and said
his decision was personal not political
it's good good for Corbin to know that
he just hates them on a personal level
this is a big deal right cuz there are
there are no they're over at least very
few moderate labor members left now is
that is does that feel about right yeah
Tom Watson said in his letter he looks
forward to having conversations with
Corbin in the future about the things
they still have in common like they've
used on gambling regulations there's
nothing like a friend that you can share
some gambling regulations just a better
texture mate and just say when the fun
stops stop it was it was quite weird
because then Corbin ADA's response
letter said that he was like I really
hope you enjoy the horseradish plans
yeah when you read it you like it this
sounds like two spies communicate I
enjoyed the gambling regulations oh and
I too enjoyed the horseradish budget
john lecarre I launched his campaign
this week with some pretty big claims he
said the Tories will sell the NHS and
that under a Conservative government
food standards would be slashed to bring
them in line with the United States
according to corbin this means we would
have quote maggots in orange juice and
rat hairs in paprika she that sounds
quite scary but I don't mind like rut is
the moon have been in paprika because I
don't have a lot of it like if it was
like
like there's gonna be rise in hula hoops
you'd love that so the truth is American
food standards are slightly different to
ours and in America they say look there
yeah there is an acceptable amount of
maggots in orange hairs in paprika
that's different to here but the
difference is no one checks it here yeah
so we have different standards but no
one checks them so there might be
maggots in our orange juice and rat
hairs in a paprika but there shouldn't
be and that's the main difference
listen I went to school in Britain in
the 1990s I've eaten so much rat you
wouldn't believe if you think turkey
Twizzlers were made of Turkey best dog
anus climate change will I be like all
can't wait to go home and have some my
grandchildren be like maggots again
guys no we've come up with a new method
of predicting the election this year
something that's going to grow and
evolve as the election goes on we have
planted cress eggs and I know people at
home are excited to see so we've had a
whole bunch of eggs representing the
leaders we'll put Chris in them we've
wanted them over the week can we have a
drumroll please let's see how they've
gone
[Music]
I even got a visit at home this week
from the Lib Dems oh yeah come around
door knocking early it turns out I love
you see that as a visit at home come in
I genuinely okay so they're not in the
doorman look when you're waiting for the
Lib Dems you don't like Lindsay Hall
during the Rugby World Cup so I wasn't
going to invite them in and have a chat
and then I thought no this could be like
you know research for the show so I said
yeah okay what have you got
you voted them in yeah Oh Adam were you
alone in the house just tending to your
eggs right maybe it's company okay look
I mean Joe Swenson is pretty much
convinced she's gonna be prime minister
at the moment what what you know what
hasn't been talked about is the chances
of an opposition coalition or as we
we've decided to dub an opposition
coalition as being guest hosted by dr.
Seuss I mean I think it seems unlikely
only because they all keep rolling it
out but I think they have to roll it out
right at this stage like Joseph incident
Jeremy Corbyn particularly have to rule
out because they have to be like we're
gonna win
they can't campaign on a platform of
we're gonna lose but well like they keep
on maintaining that they're gonna
actually happen but I think it I think
it seems pretty unlikely just because
they all seem to actively despise me
yeah like you don't want to be the
person in The Apprentice who's like well
just so you know when we go into the
boardroom I did say was bad idea I'm
just saying that now I'm not saying when
I'm gonna be in the boardroom but when
we are in the boardroom I will say that
you know I did say I put what you know
you don't to be that person
every time I have a haircut and I come
home my girlfriend goes no I go why and
she goes you look like you're a
candidate on the approach
you