Hello there.
This is Ajit Nawalkha.
And in today's video,
we are talking about how to prepare yourself
for your first coaching session.
Before we get into it, congratulations!
You got your first coaching client and you're getting ready
for your first coaching session,
so kudos to you to start the journey.
I really, really, really congratulate you
from the bottom of my heart.
Now let's talk about how do we really prepare
for the first coaching session.
Now, before we get into the exact structure of it
and what to do and what to think about,
I wanna help you recognize what may be happening for you
that has even brought you to this video,
is when you're about to get
into your first coaching session,
it's something you're doing it for the first time.
And because you're doing it for the first time,
there are certain emotions that usually tend to show up
in our lives when something new is about to start,
when something that we really are passionate about,
we're about to start and embark on that journey
because it means something to us.
So I want you to firstly, take a quick second,
quick, take a quick minute and recognize
as to what may be happening emotionally for you.
Here are some of the emotions that you may be feeling.
You may be feeling nervous right now.
You may be feeling that butterflies in your stomach
that happens when you first went on stage
or first talked to that girl or the guy that you love.
You may be feeling nervousness.
It is happening because you're uncertain
about what happens next.
You're unsure about what may happen
when you're really engaging in that conversation
with your client for the first time.
It's a good feeling.
It's also the feeling that can hold you back.
This is also the feeling that stops us from being able
to perform at our greatest selves
in our greatest capacities.
But I want you to recognize that's what's happening.
I want you to recognize why it's happening.
It's happening because you are feeling uncertain
and what you're feeling is nervousness
and a little bit of anxiety,
a little bit of fear of what may happen.
And this fear, this anxiety can be channeled
into a positive by preparing ourselves
for this coaching session,
or it can be channeled in the negative
and that will become restrictive for us
to be able to deliver an amazing coaching session.
You may be feeling uncertain and unsure
because you may be feeling that you're unqualified.
I really want to remind you that if you're here
at this point, if you're watching this video,
you probably more than qualified.
And I don't say this as a generalized statement,
but by understanding human experience.
You are a human being, having a human experience.
You have invested time, energy, resources,
and learning the skill, this craft.
You're more than qualified to go out in the world
to start creating the experience
that will make you a better coach.
So don't limit yourself because of this false expectation
of what a qualified coach is, what a not qualified coach is.
Remember, you are having a human experience
and having that human experience qualifies you
to engage in another human experience.
So while you may feel unqualified,
while you may feel uncertain,
know that it's a part of the journey.
What we have to do, what we want to do more of
is to regulate these emotions so they can become
Now, with that, let me give you some ideas
in how to really calm your nervous system
so you can feel more prepared before you go
into your coaching session.
So let me give you a few ideas
in how you can regulate your emotional system,
your nervous system so you feel more prepared
to go into coaching session.
It's important for you to regulate these emotions
because as you will go ahead and coach more and more people
you'll find more confidence,
you'll start to build more trust in your capability
and you will feel more capable every single time
you're creating a great experience for your clients,
but in these first few sessions,
as you're starting your journey,
your emotional regulation is gonna come in really handy.
So let me give you a few tools.
So when you are starting your first coaching session,
when you're about to start your first coaching session,
what may happen is that your emotions will run high.
And when emotions run high,
our rational mind shuts down and we start responding
from the emotion of whatever that is the emotion
that is showing up in that moment.
And because we are responding from the place of emotion,
it's more of mirroring the same emotion.
So if you're feeling anxious,
you will mirror anxiety in your being.
And that may reflect on your client
or your client may unconsciously pick it up
that you are feeling anxious.
And so what you want to do before a coaching session
is you want to regulate your emotional state.
There are many ways to regulate your emotional state.
One of those is to listen to something
that calms your nervous system down.
Listening to relaxing music or listening to calming music
gives you the space and time to relax
your own nervous system,
especially if you compound it with breathing.
Invite yourself to take 10, 20, 30, 40,
100 deep breaths in and out.
As you inhale and exhale,
a lot of oxygen goes into your lungs
and it allows you to kinda slow down your nervous system
and take those emotions away in that moment.
You're not trying to ignore your emotions.
You are acknowledging your emotions
and trying to get past them
so you can operate from a more rational self,
so you can be present with your clients,
so you can actually engage in a real coaching conversation
with your client.
Another way to calm down your nervous system
is to go out in nature.
If you have access to nature, like a park or trees
or a garden in your backyard,
I invite you to walk barefoot in nature.
Nature connects us to ourselves.
Nature helps us ground.
And because of that, we can more calm and comfortable
in the moment, letting our nervous system also calm down.
Another way to find grounding
when you're finding it really difficult
to find that grounding, by breathing with music
with the grounding yourself,
is to use meditative or hypnosis track
that will help you regain your confidence,
get you back into the state of confidence,
because as you find confidence again,
you will find your confidence will overpower
the other emotions that you may be experiencing.
All these tools work,
but they work differently for different people.
While it is enough for me to breathe into
and relax my nervous system,
and I can be really present in the moment,
for some individuals, it is more important
to get more confident.
For another individual it might be better
to take a walk or go to the beach.
For another individual,
they may want to distract themselves with other activities.
Whatever it may be, the key is to calm your nervous system
so you can get back into your rational self
and then can think about what needs to happen
in the coaching session that you're about to do.
Now, as you calm down your nervous system
and your rational self is back, congratulations,
if that has already happened,
you need to remember that there are only four things
that you need to do in your first
or any coaching session, really.
The first thing is rapport.
The second thing is objective.
The third thing is actually coaching.
The fourth thing is follow up or action steps.
These are the only four things that you're doing
in any coaching session.
So once you remember that there are only four things
that you're doing,
it's easy for you to go into a coaching session
and almost be like, okay, I have to first build rapport
with my client.
Now let's define what the objective of the session is.
What is the outcome that we are chasing?
Now let's define or work on the coaching itself.
I'm trying to get to the objective
and then let's look at what are the follow-up steps
or what are the action steps
that need to happen after the coaching session.
And that simplifies the structure of the coaching session,
giving you a lot more comfort and ease
to actually lean into it and be present to just four things
instead of trying to think there are like a million ideas
that you need to tackle or approach
during the coaching session.
You don't.
You need four things.
If you want to take a deeper dive
into how the coaching sessions are designed
and how to use a planner to design your coaching session
or run your coaching session,
I invite you to check out the link below.
I created a coaching sessions planner
specifically for coaches that are new or not as seasoned
and needed a little bit more help, hand-holding
to be able to deliver great coaching sessions.
That session is linked up below,
so you can click on that link and get a copy for yourself.
Once you have calmed your nervous system down,
you're back in the present,
you have a clear idea what the four parts
of a coaching session is, the next thing
is more of a housekeeping.
Coaches forget and then at the end of the session,
that becomes a problem.
Two things that you always must remember
before your coaching session starts.
First is visit the bathroom.
I know, I know it's highly sophisticated
thing that I'm reminding you of,
but trust me when I say so many coaches
right in the middle of the session get anxious
because suddenly they realize, oh crap,
I should have gone to the bathroom.
So go to the bathroom.
And secondly is keep a bottle of water
or a glass of water handy.
This is again one of those things.
You'll be talking and listening a lot.
You want to have water right next to you
so you can sip on it as you require it to.
So remember to go to the bathroom
and also keep a glass of water right next to you
so you can sip on it as it is required.
Now, if you haven't gone to the bathroom just yet,
go ahead and leave me a comment
as to what has been useful in this video just as of now.
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Now we are down to the wire.
There are only two more things that you need to remember
before your first coaching session.
Firstly is focus on your why.
You need to remember why you are doing this.
What is the purpose?
What is the outcome that you're trying to create
in the world and why and what is the meaning
of this coaching for you
and what you're creating in the world?
The reason why you want to reflect on that
is because a reminder of our purpose,
a reminder of why we do what we do
gives you that power, gives you that presence,
because you feel that energy come back into your body.
You feel that energy come back into your soul
because now you are ready.
You're ready again, to go out in the world
and do something more meaningful,
do something more useful,
and that purpose will fire you back up.
And that is why you want to remember,
oh, that's why I do this, right?
And lastly, you want to remember that it is about them.
Don't let your ego, don't let your sense of self,
don't let your need to be a guru
get in the way of their outcome.
Your coachee is coming to that session with the intention
that you're going to help them do something,
get some kind of outcome,
whatever is the promise that you made.
It is about them.
It is not about you.
You don't have to be right.
You don't have to be a know-it-all.
What you have to be is someone that is interested,
curious, and creating outcome for your clients.
So get interested in them.
Remember it is about them because when you will,
you'll operate from a place where you are more interested
in their outcome than what you get
to present yourself as, right?
And that is one of the keys that blocks coaches
is they try to be right, they try to be knowing it all.
They try to be present as this guru
in front of their clients.
Instead of that, just being interested in them
and help them out and you will create outcomes for them.
Don't forget that they are more important
in that conversation that you're about to have
and you will be just fine.
Thank you so much for watching.
Share with me in the comment section below
as the one key that you find highlighted
from this video that you're like,
"Ah, that was a good reminder, Ajit".
Share with me in the comment section below.
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Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit Nawalkha and you're watching it on Evercoach.