GIN: Ah, the observation room, is it, Kaname?
What an odd place to find one of your...
...particular qualities.
TŌSEN: [mumbling] I was just concerned that we had intruders in Hueco Mundo.
GIN: You're sure you're not just in the wrong room, friend?
TŌSEN: Mmm-hmm.
GIN: So you just happened to wander into a room filled *entirely* with monitors?
TŌSEN: [mumbling]
GIN: Oh, yes. I see now.
You were going to make an announcement over the PA system.
...*Obviously*.
TŌSEN: [mumbling] You know, maybe I was.
GIN: Well then, go on. TŌSEN: Hmm?
GIN: Go ahead. PA away!
TŌSEN: I wIll. Don't think I won't?
GIN: I believe you. Go for it!
TŌSEN: [Clicks button]
[mumbling] Hi each and everyone; there are intruders in Las Noches who do not believe in Lord Aizen's
*juSTICE*!
...Please dispatch everyone... and have a nice day.
You know, I appreciate it.
GIN: Truly, the voice of an angel.
Isn't that right, Wonderweiss?
WONDERWEISS: [Babbling]
GIN: Oh, and was that Morgan Freeman, or am I hearing things?
TŌSEN: Why are you here?
GIN: Why am I here?
To check on the intruders with our *observation equipment*.
You do know that's what observation equipment is for, right?
Like, you're not unaware of its purpose despite being...
*you*?
TŌSEN: Hmm.
GIN: Well, well, well. Look at that.
They all split up and went in entirely different directions.
TŌSEN: [mumbling] Yes, I see. GIN: You don't, though!
That aside, that was awfully stupid of them.
Two of them are so weak, I once MMMed them into submission!
TŌSEN: [mumbling] They might have become stronger.
GIN: I mean, *sure*, but how do you come back from that?
In any case, they'll each have to face enemies they could
probably curb stomp if they were in groups of two or more.
That part of Las Noches is where we keep the *silly* Arrancar.
Like, not, "Haha, that one has a bow tie~!" silly.
Like... "Oops, I slipped on to my enemy's sword⁠—clumsy me!"
"Guess I'll get replaced in the Espada now!" silly.
It's where we stuck Grimmjow when he was forcefully left-handed.
TŌSEN: [mumbling] I see. GIN: You don't, though.
I, for one, look forward to seeing them struggle against their foes one by one...
...and rejoice at the *emotional devastation* such encounters will surely bring.
TŌSEN: Gin... where are the bathrooms?
I thought this was a bathroom for months.
GIN: Ewww...
[♫ Hello Sleepwalkers - "Hyakkiyakou" ♫] ♫ Mata okashii yoru ga meguru yo ♫ (Once more the strange night closes in)
♫ gou suto tsurete tte ♫ (Bringing with it the ghosts of old)
♫ Mado no soto odoru no da are? ♫ (Who's out there dancing outside the window?)
♫ Omoi dasenai natsu ga owaru dake ♫ (And the summer will just come to a close without you being able to remember)
[Lyrics sourced from genius.com & jpopasia.com]
ISHIDA: Finally, some light! I've been literally running around in the dark.
CIRUCCI: Welcome, nerdoid!
ISHIDA: IS THAT A YOYO?!
Aahhh!
CIRUCCI: Just your bad luck, huh, four-eyes?
You just ran into the worst possible place.
ISHIDA: What, the Pillar Room?
This weird, nonsensical room filled *exclusively* with pillars?
CIRUCCI: Not quite.
You're facing Cirucci Sanderwicci, Privaron Espada and conqueror of Hueco Mundo's Planes of Pain.
ISHIDA: I have no idea what the "Planes of Pain" are.
Did you make that up? Is that real?
You could have made that up, and I'd have no way of knowing!
You're a sly one, Cirucci Sandwich!
CIRUCCI: Sanderwicci!
Which Soul Reaper are you anyways, Dorkenstein?
ISHIDA: I am none Soul Reaper!
I am Quincy, Quincy Uryū Ishida.
CIRUCCI: "Quincy"...
Never even heard of you. What's a Quincy?
ISHIDA: [afar] That's a Quincy!
CIRUCCI: What? Quincies are arrows?
ISHIDA: Supposedly!
CIRUCCI: Well, alright then! It's time I use my weapon—
ISHIDA: Your yoyo.
CIRUCCI: —to destroy you!
ISHIDA: [afar] Destroy you-you, you mean. Ahahahahah!
CIRUCCI: Quit HIDING!
ISHIDA: Okay!
CIRUCCI: And stop trying to shoot me!
ISHIDA: What do you want from me exactly?!
CIRUCCI: Wa-want from you? What, are you coming onto me?
ISHIDA: I have no idea how to communicate with you.
CIRUCCI: Well, maybe, if you put in some effort to understand me, we wouldn't just ARGUE ALL THE TIME!
ISHIDA: ...Yeah, I'm just gonna keep fighting?
You've clearly got a thing, and I want no part in it.
Ahhp!
CIRUCCI: Stop using the pillars to your advantage, you... you *goon*!
ISHIDA: [High pitched] What do you mean, "use the pillars to my advantage"?!
That was your intention from the beginning!
CIRUCCI: How dare you! I never once planned to use them to my advantage!
*You* just happened to show up in the Pillar Room!
The room. We made. Exclusively. FOR PILLARS!
You wouldn't act all high and mighty without them giving you an advantage!
ISHIDA: "High and mighty"?
You're *literally standing* above me right now!
CIRUCCI: You just DON'T GET ME!
ISHIDA: Oh, I'll get you, alright.
CIRUCCI: Bastard! How do you simultaneously have so much room to run and so many places to hide?!
ISHIDA: I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of the Pillar Room.
I'm too busy with that to question the serendipitous nature of its existence.
CIRUCCI: Question THIS!
ISHIDA: Oh, I am! I'm questioning how this sawblade yoyo
maintains its *forward velocity* despite being blocked by my—
Gahhhhh!
Dammit. If things get any worse, then I'm not going to make it to Orihime...
PESCHE: Hey, Ishida, it's me, Pesche!
Your *grrreatest* possible ally!
ISHIDA: ...Well, Orihime, I tried.
CIRUCCI: Huh... is that Pesche?
PESCHE: C-Cirucci?!
CIRUCCI: What the hell are you doing back in Las Noches?
ISHIDA: You two know one another?!
CIRUCCI: We... dated.
PESCHE: It was purely physical.
ISHIDA: I can't objectively prove you're both lying to me...
But that's pretty hard to believe.
PESCHE: Cirucci and I have a rich and vibrant history.
Our relationship was beyond words, mmm~
CIRUCCI: He's an asshole, who leaves pizza boxes *everywhere*!
PESCHE: That sums it up well, actually.
CIRUCCI: Not only that, but somehow,
*this* weasel managed to become one of the attendants of an Espada.
Imagine this... *thing* working for an Espada!
PESCHE: Hey! I worked for you.
CIRUCCI: Ohhh, I'm gonna actually throw up.
Which reminds me of this other gross thing he did—
PESCHE: HuBLEEEEEEGH!
CIRUCCI: ...Does!
PESCHE: Sorry. When I'm nervous, I vomit up gallons of saliva and mucus.
I also shoot ink when I'm afraid. I have many defense mechanisms.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, CIRUCCI?!
My greatest defense mechanism isn't saliva or butt ink!
It's closing myself off to someone who's just *trying* to reach out and move forward with our relationship...
[Inhales] You wanted to take things further, and I up and left because I was afraid!
Not of you, but of myself.
I didn't think I could commit then, but now I know that I'm ready to take that leap, Cirucci!
So, please, if you'll have me...
Cirucci, will you marry meee?!
CIRUCCI: Ya, uh, no.
PESCHE: Well, back to vomit I go.
AHBLEEEEEEGH!
CIRUCCI: GROOOOOSS!
Ahhh!
AHHHHHH!
ISHIDA: I think she's dead.
I think you killed her.
PESCHE: Our love was a star-crossed one.
In another life, dearest Cirucci.
ISHIDA: Well, now that she's dead, let's get on to the real mystery here.
What *is* this room for?
I'm thinking these pillars are secretly missiles, waiting to be deployed!
CIRUCCI: Rip, Golondrina!
Today, I set three goals for myself.
* Wake up before noon.
* Start cooking for myself instead of ordering out all the time.
* And *fffucking kill* someone!
I'M GONNA GET AT LEAST ONE OF THEM DONE!
ISHIDA: Alright, but you're kind of way too hot to be someone who eats out a lot.
Anime women are *so* unrealistic!
...He said, realizing only after the fact how redundant that sounds.
CIRUCCI: Prepare to feel the sting of Cirucci Sanderwicci's deadly feathers.
Killing you will be my feel-good exercise for the day.
ISHIDA: Is she *always* like this?
PESCHE: She wanted to be a model once; never stopped talking about it. Guess it didn't work out.
ISHIDA: As long as I keep moving, there's no way you'll be able to hit me.
I'll just stay far enough away that your bladed wings aren't a threat!
CIRUCCI: Hehehah! Is that right?
ISHIDA: Are you *kidding* me?!
CIRUCCI: Well, there we go. That's one thing done today.
ISHIDA: Sorry, but did you mean to hit me just now?
CIRUCCI: Mm-hmm.
I know that move. It's called the "Flash Step", isn't it?
ISHIDA: No, you fool; that's a Soul Reaper thing!
Mine is called "Hirenkyaku".
CIRUCCI: What's the difference?
ISHIDA: I'm a Quincy?!
CIRUCCI: What, so it's an *arrow* thing?
ISHIDA: [afar] Supposedly!
So Pe*sche*, or Pesche, or whatever...
I have a tactical request. Something only you're capable of doing.
PESCHE: Anything, Ishida. You and I have been through so much, we're practically brothers.
Delicious, loyal brothers!
ISHIDA: Unnecessary "delicious" qualifier aside...
Leave forever!
CIRUCCI: Are we just about ready to take this seriously? LET'S GO, WORM!
ISHIDA: I guess it's only fair. If you're going to throw blades at me...
I might as well do something equally ridiculous.
CIRUCCI: Uh, what?
What in the name...?
What is that weapon?
ISHIDA: This? This is Seele Schneider.
An instrument that gathers together spiritual energy and forms it into a beam with a contained length.
CIRUCCI: So... It's a—
ISHIDA: That's right.
It's a GODDAMN LIGHTSABER!
CIRUCCI: But you said that Quincies only use arrows.
ISHIDA: I said...!
..."Supposedly".
I'm glad I took precautions.
Before Kisuke and I snuck out of my dad's hospital,
I located a trove of my father's Quincy items, abandoned and unused.
Kisuke's skills allowed me to easily acquire them.
This is Seele Schneider.
The only bladed Quincy weapon... or so I'm told.
CIRUCCI: Who's Kisuke? Who's your father?
What hospital? Why does a hospital have Quincy gear?
ISHIDA: Hmm?
...Oh; Kisuke's the guy that got us here; my dad's a Quincy; the hospital is his.
Yeah, I'm not sure why I expected you to follow any of that.
CIRUCCI: You're pretty cool for a nerd.
ISHIDA: Yeah, well, you're pretty hot for a bitch.
CIRUCCI: 'Scuse me?!
ISHIDA: I don't know. You said a thing, I said a thing. Felt right in the moment...
Die.
Are we not fighting anymore?
Like, if you're done because of my *dope* lightsaber, I can just move along and save Orihime.
CIRUCCI: That your girlfriend?
ISHIDA: Hah! No!
Women are spies and terrorists.
CIRUCCI: Oh; then why are you here?
ISHIDA: Because my friend, who is a Soul Reaper
—but isn't because he betrayed them, so it's okay—
is dating her, I think; or maybe not; I'm not really sure;
I'm just now realizing I don't keep up with my friends' lives; I should be more attentive.
CIRUCCI: Okay...
Let me make this worth your time, then!
There we go... [Cough]
Just you and me... and my amputated limbs I can *never* put back on.
ISHIDA: I'm sure that's what you'd *like* me to believe!
Those released forms are merely cybernetic enhancements stored as NANOBOTS
within the scabbards of your so-called "swords".
Let's not speak nonsense, Cirucci.
Please.
CIRUCCI: Whatever you say.
We're just about done here anyways, don't you think?
I'd say we're at the *tail end* of this encounter!
ISHIDA: Well, yes. Yes, I would say that! But not so ominously.
Ah. "Tail end".
CIRUCCI: You know what I think I hate most about you, four-eyes?
Your stupid, smug face.
Reminds me of the asshole I lost my place in the Espada to, that irritating Szayelaporro Granz.
He's smart, just like you.
Which is the only defining feature any smart person has... being smart.
I guess you could say I'm not a *fan* of brainiacs like you!
You said earlier you didn't want to be part of whatever I'm working through?
Should've left the GLASSES at home, bookworm!
ISHIDA: Gahhh!
CIRUCCI: You cost me my arms and wings...
Let's see what I can take from *you*!
ISHIDA: If you wanted to work out some issues, you could have found someone to talk to.
Violence isn't always the answer.
Of course, when it is, it helps to have a LIGHTSABERRRR!
CIRUCCI: What...?
How in the *world* are you breaking my tail?
ISHIDA: Simple.
CIRUCCI: You know what? I don't care. Sword tail!
ISHIDA: You're really going to want to hear this, actually.
CIRUCCI: Dude. Stop.
ISHIDA: I'm jacking your tail shiz!
Yeah, you like that? Slanged it up for ya.
I'm stealing your energy.
CIRUCCI: What.
ISHIDA: Seele Schneider's vibrations aren't incidental to its purpose.
It breaks down spiritual bonds and loosens them, allowing me to steal spiritual energy.
Much like your former job, your spiritual energy has been hoodwinked.
CIRUCCI: I don't care! Stronger sword or not—mine's BIGGER!
ISHIDA: A sword...? What do you take me for?
I'm a Quincy, Madame.
I only use arrows.
...Supposedly.
CIRUCCI: [High pitched screaming]
ISHIDA: And they're recyclable. We Quincy are also very green.
The environment is important to us.
Well? Anything to say for yourself?
CIRUCCI: Y-your lightsaber...
...is *way* too cool for you.
ISHIDA: Do me a favor, Cirucci.
Take this chance to live your best life.
Also, for God's sake, woman, start getting up before noon.
Have some goddamn shame!
What are you, a college freshman? Jesus!
GIN: Well, that's two of them moving on without any negative repercussions.
The old Espada were pretty weak, hmm?
I bet I could have MMMed them, too. Don't you think, Tōsen?
...Tōsen? You alright?
TŌSEN: [mumbling] I can't find the door, Gin.
Where's the door, Gin? Why is this my life, Gin?
GIN: I honestly couldn't tell you.
LOGAN: Thank you so much to all the Patrons that are currently being shown on screen.
We genuinely wouldn't be able to do this, or our other projects if it weren't for you guys.
And special thanks in particular to our $100 Patrons, Bandit1683 and Kura Tenshi!
And now, if you'll indulge me for roughly three minutes, four minutes...
Okay, let's hope this works this time.
This is terribly dating what's going on.
So, anybody watching this in the future may look at this
and then it may slip their minds why I'm even making this as part of a video.
So, normally, I would put a, uhm, Patreon link or something to that effect here.
Uh, for those of you that don't know, I'm Logan Laidlaw.
I'm in charge of the editing and a very large amount of the writing and the general management of the channel.
I thought it was more appropriate, given this particular case, to wish everybody safety—
I've said this on the channel in the community tab already—but to wish everybody safety. And sanity.
And... I hope you're all holding together.
There's some rough times ahead for a lot of us... a lot of us. And for a lot of different reasons.
And a lot of people with conflicting ideas on what we should do moving forward. But...
Even we silly YouTube people are still people that are concerned for the well-being of everybody out there.
And especially people like us who probably have more eyes on us while people are cooped up.
I think it's important that we remind everybody...
Be educated...
Make sure to find information from reputable sources, whatever you believe that to be the case...
Stay safe, make sure to practice social distancing, and so on.
I just wanted to mostly just wish everybody well during this period.
'Cuz it's gonna be hard on us. It's gonna be hard on a lot of people.
I, in particular, have someone...
My girlfriend and I are currently trying to go through immigration. We're trying to...
We're trying to get Bubblemunky to get proper— permanent, eagh, permanent—residency here, and...
This whole thing has not helped us. It's—it's not damned us, but...
It's—it's not made things any easier, and that's been an ongoing issue.
And that is, I think, a small issue compared to what a lot of people are probably going through.
So I just can't pass up the chance to say that I hope you're all okay.
Be excellent to each other.
Be excellent to the people providing entertainment during this period.
Be—be excellent to the people that you're entertaining during this period. Just—
[Sigh] Try to stay sane.
If anybody wants something to do, we've taken our Twitch channel off of, uh, subscriber-only.
So... if you guys want to watch anything in our archive on Twitch, feel free to.
For those of you that are into D&D streams and whatnot...
Spencer, BuddyVA, who's part of Project Mouthwash, has started doing...
He started doing streams every Monday that Carrie, Bubblemunky's also joining him for on our channel.
So if you want to join them then, if you want to have something to do there, then feel free to.
And we stream every Thursday and every Saturday playing an alternating D&D game on Thursdays,
and playing what is sometimes a Fate D&D game on Saturdays that I DM, and is sometimes...
what currently is a homemade world called Vestige that if you have the time, feel free to come hang out.
That's got a bunch of people from Project Mouthwash and Something Witty and The Schmucks
and some other really, really great, fun people in it.
I don't really have a whole lot of focus here.
I wish you guys well. And...
We're all in this together, on some level.
So keep on keeping on, and I'm rooting for you.