BIIIITCH.
Dick.
Ahhhhhhh!
I am currently on my couch today.
So that's when you know it's a serious video.
So I was perusing on the Internet.
Living my best life.
Maybe watching porn, I don't even remember.
My lips are hella moisturized right now, this is an experience.
But as I said, I was on the Internet.
Just perusing.
Just being me.
Just makin' dreeeeaammmmmmmmms
commmmmmmmme truuuuue
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I was gonna say a joke right there, but I totally forgot.
As I was perusing on the Internet, I got a notification from Twitter of someone sending me a photo
of a product that has just changed...the way I look at the world.
The way I consume the human race.
At a time in my life, you know, I thought my dreams would never come true.
I thought I would never be able to achieve anything I wanted to.
But when this product came into my world,
I then found out that anything in life is possible
for this bussy.
BIIIIITCH.
Now this is the time when you're probably wondering what the product is.
BIIIIIIITCH.
This is the time when I'm supposed to show you what the product is.
bitTtTtTcH
But do I want to show you what the product is yet? Or do I want to sit here and vamp for some watch time?
I'll show you the product.
Have you ever wondered up thinking "Wow, I am so gAaAaY."
(What the hell does "wondered up" mean.)
Have you ever sucked too many dicks and thought "Wow, this needs to stop"?
Does the presence of Zac Efron or Michael B. Jordan make your balls tingle?
Have you said the word "bussy" and enjoyed it too much?
Well, I have the product just for you.
From the creators of Bullshit and What the F*ck.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...
GAY-AWAYYYY!
(whAt)
Gay-Away!
(WHAT)
Gay-Away?!?!
(Whaaaaa?)
Have you sucked a dick dry and always wondered why?
Gay-Away!
Do you have a limp wrist and an urgency to say "Heyyy"?
Gay-Away!
Have you liked to get your booty spanked by a man named Hank?
Gay-Away!
Do you have an indigestion by the dick-festation?
That didn't rhyme.
Gay-Away.
Is it too WEIRD to be QUEER?
Uh, bitch.
Gay-Away!
"The Meat Substitute."
(BITCH WHAT THE FUCK)
I see what the f*ck they did there.
"Stops the craving for misbehaving."
Extra-strength. Just for my ass.
You bitch.
"But Mac, how does the Gay-Away work?"
I'll answer that with a video!
"pATRICiAaAAA"
That's it!
(What the fuck?)
Gay-Away. Cures gayness.
"For real fruitcakes."
Oh my gosh.
"Stop the cravin' for misbehavin' with Dr. Neil Formee's Gay-Away Pill."
"Just 2 pills a day will have you off the stick and in the bush in a matter of weeks."
Delicious.
"If after two weeks you still like your meat rare and still find yourself knocking at the back door - "
Every Tuesday.
" - increase dose to 4 pills a day."
"Don't put it off for another minute!"
"Skip to the nearest store and scratch your way to the front of the line before they're all gone."
Gay-Away!
Do you have a feeling for some dick-eating?
That didn't rhyme either.
Gay-Away!
Do you have a love coup with a man's poop stoop?
Gay-Away!
Do you have a fee for a man's tree?
Gay-Away!
Now here are some celebrity testimonials!
What?
That's what I forgot to do.
♫ God said it's a real big no-no! ♫
You know, I got that video deleted from the Internet.
The power of my shit scares me.
All my life, I've always decided, "What if?"
Ya know?
What if I just
What if one day I just randomly...
...decided.
Would my life be different?
Would I be happier?
Maybe living my life with a sexuality people don't think they can "disagree" with
like an opinion in a political debate is a good idea.
Maybe living a life not being constantly threatened of death by closeted preacher men -
We know they're closeted. We know they're sucking dick on the side.
Why would they talk about us so much? They're just curious, bitch!
They wanna try it! They wanna have a taste!
Maybe living a life where that's not a thing would be great!
Well, now all that curiosity can CHANGE TODAY.
♫ Hooray, hooray, Gay-Away. ♫
♫ Comes to save the day. ♫
♫ Fooorr the bussiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies ♫
♫ In the seeeeeea ♫
♫ Yip-a-dee-dEe-dEe-dee ♫
Delete my channel.
~~~Call now!!~~~
Apparently they also have a website.
WWW.HOMO.NOMO.
HOMO NOMO.
Homo Nomo!
Ready to be homo? No mo'.
I'm ready to live my life with a new level of privilege!
Okay.
How do you open boxes?
There we go. Here we are.
Here it is, there it is.
We love a rainbow.
(cackling)
~~~Call now!!~~~
Now here is the thing. The vodka-infused tea, bitch.
I can't swallow pills.
She can't swallow, bitch.
She doesn't swallow here.
In this household. In this Christian home.
So you guys are about to see a spectacle of Mac trying his goddamn best.
Just so you know, whatever you're about to see is not me being overdramatic.
It is me just living my life.
Gay-Away!
(what the fuck)
(choking noises) No, nope.
Uh-uh. Didn't even.
Wait a minute, one more time.
(choking noises) CALL N O W
Nope. Still here.
Third time's a charm.
(violent coughing) NO.
Uh-uh. (laughs)
My shirt is very wet. You know what, I'm just gonna bite into it, why not.
Well, I don't - WH -
Boobs!
That was weird.
What do other people think of this product?
Goddammit, I keep on forgetting!
So that's it. That's the video.
I don't know.
Moral of the story?
There is really no moral.
This is candy, by the way. This isn't real.
It's a gag product. You know.
For the gays.
On a serious note, did you know that over 700,000 people in America have been subjected to conversion therapy?
And over 300,000 of those people were sentenced to treatment at a young age.
Before the age of twelve, actually.
Even though this is a joke, there are still people in this world that are given pills and treatments as in being gay is a curable disease.
Homosexuals and people in the LGBT community are constantly being killed on the streets every single day.
They are being constantly yelled at and berated by people that don't understand and don't wanna understand and don't even care to understand about us and our lifestyles.
We have to walk out into the world always constantly wondering how the world is gonna take us.
There are still people wondering why we have an entire month dedicated to us standing proud of ourselves.
Go figure, right? Gay is okay, and if you don't like it, keep your opinions to your goddamn self, right?
Is this getting too serious? It's probably getting too serious.
Let me play a clip.
Okay, there we go, we're good, we're back to normal.
Anyways, I'm gonna go eat the rest of this Chinese food.
I feel like I'm always ending my videos talking about I'm gonna eat.
I literally don't eat until I film a video, guys. This is my life. I'm very unhealthy.
I need to go back to the gym. I haven't been to the gym in, like...
we're not talking about that WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT WE'RE DELETING THAT RIGHT NOW
My name is Mac, and don't forget to like, comment, share, and subscribayyyyy
BWAAAAAAA!
Buy my merch.
Buy my merch?
Buy my merch.