Today, gentleman , we roast.
A few days ago, I made a community post saying I was going to do a video roasting your guys’
instagram profiles and ever since I posted that you guys have been spamming me with messages
asking when it’s coming out.
“When you gonna roast me bro?”
“When’s the roast video coming out?”
“Zeus please make fun of my instagram profile, i’d be honored.”
Like jeez calm down a bit bro, there’s enough Zeus to go around.
So today that’s exactly what we’re doing.
A lot of roasting, but also a lot of learning.
Every guy in this video VOLUNTARILY signed up to be roasted and more importantly, to
learn how they can improve.
I’m gonna focus on showing these guys how they can IMPROVE and get their profiles up
to the level of the GODS.
Because in 2020, if you have a badass IG profile, then you basically have your hands on a real-life
babe magnet that requires almost no work.
I show you how to do this in my brand new course Instagame which you can check in the
link in the description, but more on that later because the guy with the best profile
in this video is getting free access to my course so stick around because maybe you’re
the winner!
I’ll be giving out golden nuggets of Instagram wisdom throughout.
So strap in, and let’s get this started.
First up, we got our boy Ben - hey cool name!
Let’s see how he’s doing.
Bro what the hell is this.
This picture looks like it was taken on somebody’s ring doorbell camera at 3 am right before
you tried robbing their place.
I feel like i’m looking at a thumbnail for inside edition on amazon package thieves or
something.
You got the flash on and whoever took this photo had their sticky finger on the lens
because the whole bottom left is blown out.
How is a girl gonna look at this and think, “Damn I would do this guy”.
She doesn’t even know which one you are because there’s so many of you in this photo
bro!
Tip: Avoid group photos.
Every generic guy on Instagram posts group photos, you post them without thinking about
them because you figure hey we’re all out somewhere doing this cool thing let’s snap
a pic.
But the problem with big group photos is that they drown YOU out.
And remember, we’re on YOUR Instagram.
Not your friends.
Unless you want to advertise your handsome friends to all the girls looking at your profile
then hey, I’m sure they’d appreciate it.
The biggest issue with your profile is that you don’t have enough photos on it AND all
your photos are group pictures, meaning I don’t learn anything about you or who you
are as a person.
And that’s the whole thing you’re trying to show to girls!!
Not to mention your profile pic is far as fuck, I feel like i’m looking at Mars through
the hubble telescope…
I have no idea what you look like which means she’s not gonna know either.
Biggest takeaway for our boy Ben is this.
Get portrait mode on your iphone going and get some clear pictures of you during the
daytime so girls can actually see your face.
Since you have so many friends to be posting pics with one of them is bound to have a nice
camera and be able to get some pics of you solo.
Next profile.
It’s our boy Alan.
Bruuuuhhhhh did you go to disneyland high as fuck, your eyes ain’t even open in this
picture!
You look like you just smoked a fat one with Goofy on Donald in the backroom of Space Mountain.
Jesus man, I want whatever this guy is on.
Yeah you look like you’re in space alright.
Now maybe you kept this on your profile as a joke but even if, I’d put that photo in
a carousel post as the 2nd picture after a picture where you look like you’re still
on this planet.
Moving on to your other pictures, I’d get rid of the stereotypical prom photo that guys
take with their hands protecting their balls from a kick.
I never understood why guys pose like this, I don’t get it, it makes you look like everyone
else, you guys look like Naruto when he learned the shadow clone jutsu.
Or the storm troopers at the death star academy.
It’s attack of the clones.
Now I’m not even pointing this out just for him, 99% of the profiles you guys submitted
had this same issue as well so don’t be laughing too hard, chances are you at home
are doing this too.
Now this guy actually does have some baller pics and captions aside from those I pointed
out.
I mean just look at this pic, dude’s handsome as hell!
I would’ve never guessed from that space mountain pic.
You can see he has good style and is really well put together.
And to top it off, he had a funny caption to go with it that shows tons of personality.
The caption reads, “Craving Five Guys, well I got four bros, so what’s up.”
In his other photo when he’s posing near an overwatch, his caption reads “I do my
own stunts”.
Simple, calibrated to the photo and shows me you have a sense of humor and are fun to
be around.
And your smile in the photo matches that same energy which is amazing.
Tip: Be congruent with your captions, bio, and photos.
If you’re a funny guy who’s always joking around and being sarcastic, have that same
energy in your photos, captions, and bio.
It helps give the girl a clearer image of who you are and makes you way more memorable
in her mind.
Making a bit of a corny and tongue in cheek joke that matches the photo gives me a way
better feel for who this guy is, and girls seeing this will have this same reaction.
Your entire profile should be posts like this bro!!
Ok next roast.
Private account again.
You guys really jerked me this video, I specifically said in my post, make sure your account is
private.
And half of you had your account private when I went to loook you up, so now i’m just
gonna roast you for not following instructions.
You just missed your opportunity to get expert, god level advice on your profile.
Follow instructions or you’ll miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities!!
I mean c’mon when else is god gonna review your profile?
Well, never now!
Next profile.
Oh jeez man you gotta lose the selfies, you’re doing them too much.
You must be like 20 ft tall if all your photos are taken from under you.
Your camera man is all the way at your feet pointed up just to get a look at you.
The most recent ones aren’t bad.
I like the second one because it’s all white, and a really interesting photo that doesn’t
feel like a selfie.
You’re pretty handsome so you can get away with the 3rd one but most guys can’t.
The 4th one has to got to go bro.
It looks like it was taken on a police officer’s dashcam during a traffic stop.
The biggest issue here is that you don’t have any variety in your photos, it’s all
selfies, this is why you want to change it up and have different styles of photos on
your feed.
You’re gonna have girls thinking you’re obsessed with yourself, and the next american
psycho, looking at yourself in the mirror in the bedroom… yikes.
Last but not least, step up your bio.
From looking at your Instagram profile i have no clue who you are, what you do, or what
you’re about.
A girl who comes across this has no reason to care about you or what you do because you
haven’t communicated to her who you are as a man, and why you’re badass.
You could be a super smart tech entrepreneur with fuck you money, or a total giant with
nobody tall enough to take good pictures of ya.
You don’t have any captions either so i really know nothing about you.
Remember dating is just like sales & marketing, you’re selling yourself, and your Instagram
is your website.
If your website tells me nothing about your product, you can be sure as hell I ain’t
buying.
Tip: avoid selfies.
9 times out of 10 they end up looking like you’re somebody’s long lost uncle from
another country who just learned how to use facebook
This guy kinda gets away with it because he’s handsome but you’d still want variety in
there for sure.
Next!
Alright Salvatore, I can’t see the mountain view behind you because the photo is too high
and your butt is blocking it.
So now do I only get half a nice view but I can’t see your face either!
And why are you looking down in all your photos, what’s so interesting on the floor there?
Shoot, there must be some nice big double D cup boobies on the gorund if he’s constantly
looking down at them damn, i need to hang around this guy.
He knows where the boobies are.
But my biggest pet peeve with this profile is that I can’t see your face…
AT ALL.
You’re looking down in every photo or too far away to get a good look.
The only picture where i can even kinda see your face is when you’re wearing halloween
makeup and look like the Joker.
Bruuuuuhhh c’mon man.
Seriously, girls want to see your face.
Not even just to see if you’re good looking, they want a face to match the person hitting
them up.
Even if you’re not that attractive it helps build familiarity and comfort to know and
be able to have a clear idea of what you look like.
Tip: archive all your old photos that are more than a year or two old.
If they’re great / not cringe then keep em but your first few rows should not be pics
from when you were going through puberty and trying out the creepy puberty mustache that
your mom wouldn’t let you shave
And dude your most recent pic is from over 2 years ago, for all the girl knows you could
look like a totally different guy now.
It’s 2020 get with the times!
c’mon man!
You’re a good looking dude, at least from the little I can tell, and you look like you’re
even in good shape, so show that off bro!!
That about wraps up the roasts for today.
There’s a bunch more I had written and ready to roast but I’m running a bit late for
my date with an Instagram model so I gotta jet.
BUT, if you want to learn how to step up your profile and avoid making the same mistakes
these guys made then you’re gonna want to click the link in the description and check
out my new course, InstaGame.
Which by the way I’m giving away free access to the course, to our boy Alan for having
the best profile out of everyone roasted, congrats bro!
Make sure you guys are subscribed and have notifications on so you don’t miss out on
chances to win free access to all of my courses!
Because like Instagame, you don’t want to miss out on the knowledge inside.
Inside Benjamin and I show you exactly how to “pimp” your profile so that it becomes
a total babe-magnet bro.
Seriously, just check out some of these DMs my manager Benjamin has gotten from implementing
this on his profile.
Benjamin’s profile is the perfect definition of a properly pimped profile, in fact, he
met his ex girlfriend using the InstaGame method, and he breaks down the entire interaction
from first DM to first date inside the course.
Benjamin and I teamed up to teach you everything you’ll ever need to go from DMs, to date
in record time.
In fact, we have an entire 3 hour long module inside dedicated to showing you how to setup
your profile every step of the way.
Including The EXACT Copy/Paste Stories, Pictures, Poses And DMs For You To STEAL And Use On
Your Instagram Profile For IMMEDIATE Results
We’re living in 2020 now bro.
The most attractive girls, girls who look like this and this, aren’t on Tinder or
dating apps.
They have so many guys chasing after them that they don’t need dating apps.
But they’re all on instagram.
Instagram is the best dating app in the world, if you know how to use it.
Instagram is the modern day business card, and it’s where the most gorgeous women connect
with high status guys.
The way I see it, you either become a high status guy and learn to communicate it through
instagram, or you get left behind, fending for whatever scraps are left behind by the
top 1% of guys who know how to use instagram to their advantage.
Achieving this comes down to knowing how to create what I call, “The Influencer Effect”
which is when girls start to see you as this celebrity influencer, just by watching your
stories and seeing your pictures.
AND Benjamin and I just made a totally FREE 20 minute documentary style video on how to
create The Influencer Effect, and you can watch it by clicking below.
The documentary is totally free to watch, but if you like it and you want to get the
full course, you can also go ahead and sign up at that same link as well.
InstaGame is our complete copy/paste for pimping your profile and turning you from ‘average’
to influencer’ in just a few weeks.
Sign ups close in just a few days so don’t waste anymore time.
An entire vault of copy/paste stories, captions, photos, and DMs for you to steal are just
one click away.
Benjamin and I will see you in there.
Zeus out.