- [Mike] How do you think our lives would be different,
If we never met?
- [Danielle] I would just go with my first thought
and that is that I would probably be, you know
a little ratchet, in the streets,
probably still going back and forth with my ex,
and probably would have had about three
or four kids by now,
on accident.
- [Danielle] What are your top three
favorite memories that we share?
- [Mike] Okay.
First one off top is,
I mean we were going back and forth,
about this the other day
about it being our first day or not.
But like that first time we went to Disneyland, like right
after we got together, I feel like that was a super special
and vulnerable moment in our relationship.
It was like the Genesis of it.
So I really enjoy those times.
I think another time was this may maybe a little selfish
but the proposal for some, we performed together.
That was like a big moment for me and a good memory for me
just because the nervousness of proposing and just the
the moment we created
for being able to perform together for the first time
and just the atmosphere that was there in, you know.
Third memory ....
Is I don't want to say this
but like you bringing into the world for me
that was like forever going to be one of my best memories
even though it probably isn't for you, but just yeah
- [Danielle] An experience
yeah definitely experiences for sure.
But just seeing your strength, like it was just
I was super, I was, I felt like a cheerleader for you.
Like you were playing like an extreme sport
and I was just cheering you on the whole time
and just to see you execute, that was beautiful.
- [Danielle] That's great.
And I would have to say the wedding day
and honeymoon so all that as a one,
because I even though I barely remember it
cause I feel like it went like a flash.
I remember just being excited
and happy about that and you know
girls like to dress up and
- [Mike] Of course
(laughs)
Have a good time, So
- [Mike] I think I'm next with the question.
- [Danielle] Oh yeah you are?
- [Mike] Hmm
Next question.
What are you most proud of?
What are you the most proud of what we have done
as a couple?
- [Danielle] That we've done?
- [Mike] As a couple, yeah
- [Danielle] I would have to say one our sustainability
and just how we've been able to be the difference
because like one thing that's been kind of
discouraging is looking around us and seeing, you know
like all the broken relationships, but somehow, you know
despite our differences
we've been able to weather the storm and still see the good
and hold on to hold on to, you know, God and each other.
And that's what I'm really proud of because like
it's been so many things that could have broke us
but we're still standing.
And I don't think it's because it's just the thing to do.
I think we really want this.
- [Mike] I'm just glad I haven't messed this up yet.
Going back to earlier in our conversation
like I'm a mess sometimes, you know
and by the grace of God, I haven't, you know
done anything
in our relationship or
to our relationship to affect it in a way that's, you know
the people like some of the relationships around us
how we saw and have been discouraged by it, you know
Grateful for our four going on five years in February
and look forward to more and building it, you know
just being able to stand for longer with you, but, you know
think of having grace with me on that and yeah.
You know, it's just a balance.
- [Danielle] That's the scary part
about it because we didn't have mothers.
So we don't have an example
What marriage should look like?
What parenting should look like?
We don't really have examples for that.
So it's just like, it's hard.
It's like you have to figure out how to
you're just making your way,
- [Mike] Yeah
- [Danielle] You know, just making your way.
That's all I can say
- [Mike] For sure.
- [Danielle] What are you hesitant to tell me?
- [Mike] Hmm.
- [Danielle] That's a good one being very honest.
- [Mike] I think I'm more hesitant to tell you,
about my shame for moments that I have of just,
you know, what I struggle
with sometimes, you know,
and to keep it, yeah
we're going to be a hundred percent, you know
just temptations and things like that.
Like just struggling with those type of things.
As a man, I struggle with telling you
because of the shame that comes with it.
But I also know that sharing those moments
with you say saves our relationship and our marriage.
How you look at me, it's very important.
If you haven't realized that through our relationship
whenever I feel misunderstood by something or, you know
I don't feel like I'm being perceived right.
Is when it makes me most frustrated.
So I, I view your perception of me highly
and it's pretty shameful
embarrassing to tell you some of those things sometimes.
So they're always hard to do
but I somehow find some way to share them with you.
- [Danielle] I didn't realize,
how much I had effect on you til,
I saw you cry for the first time
and I didn't know what to do when I saw that.
I was like,
- [Mike] Put that on blast huh?
- [Danielle] Oh my God, I don't know what I mean.
We've been together for a long time now,
so if you aint cried by now, something wrong, but no
like for real, like I don't think, I think that, you know
we were told to have a certain perspective
that man should be a certain way.
Like, but a lot of times we are as women
we need to see that side of our men so that we understand
because we just think you guys are just so strong
and without emotion, like
and we don't know how we fit in that, that is hard.
And I, and, and I think that was something
that kind of like made me realize like, Oh, you know
let me be more conscious of how I say things.
I'm still working on it, of course.
But you know how I say things and what I say
because it actually affects you.
But before that, I was just like
- [Mike] Okay
- Hopefully we're doing good on time.
This is a good question.
What is the biggest sacrifice you have made?
I haven't acknowledged.
- [Danielle] I want to say motherhood.
I think, I feel like
I'm like, if this happened again
I'm not going to do nothing
because I feel like it's your turn.
I'm not doing nothing.
You better go grow a breast
because you're going to breastfeed too
because I'm not doing anything for the next child.
If it happens, I think it's more natural
for the woman to do it.
But it's, it's just a lot from the changes in your body
to the weight gain, to, you know
the hormonal imbalance and then, you know
getting used to a newborn,
it's been really hard.
A lot of that stuff.
I know that I'm hard on myself too
but that's definitely something that I'm like, Oh no.
Like I feel like sometimes I feel alone in that, you know
but I know I'm not alone
but it doesn't stop the feeling of it.
It doesn't stop feeling like resentful sometimes or angry.
- [Mike] Yeah
No, it was good.
I understand we had this conversation the other day
so I get it.
It's not surprising for me, you know, I'll try
like I already kind of explained, like
I'll definitely want to be better in my communication
and taking initiative with you when it comes.
I had my own perspective that I lived in about it
which wasn't very helpful to you because again
you're going through all these changes
with your body, mentality, having to work, you know
I'm working and doing all this other stuff
but I can even see that when we were on equal playing field
you were working just as much as me.
Even sometimes more, you know, it's still
there was still things that you were still were more.
So I definitely get it, you know?
Yeah. Something for us to work on.
- [Danielle] If this was our last conversation
what is something you never want me to forget?
That's deep
I already know you ready?
Cause you probably already thought this through.
- [Mike] No I haven't, that's a deep question.
- [Danielle] Really, you haven't?
- [Mike] Nah, nah.
I mean, I do think
of that a lot, but not,
- [Danielle] You be thinking about things like that
all the time.
- Not in the specifics, I think I
- [Mike] Mm. I don't know.
I mean, I, can you answer first because I don't think I
I have a proper answer right now.
- [Danielle] If this was our last conversation,
I would want you
I would want you to know
that you're not the reason for most of my pain.
Most of my pain is like
internal
from not growing up with a father, a mother
and still dealing with that abandonment
rejection and insecurities and things like that.
So a lot of the things that you've seen,
was nothing to do with you.
I think that you are a great father,
that I sincerely love you.
And I'm glad that I met you.
- [Mike] Thank you for that.
I appreciate that.
This is our last conversation.
I would want you, something you never want me to forget.
I mean, I don't want you to forget everything that I do.
It's intention is because I believe
in you and I want to see you thrive.
I want you to go
for it still and not be, you know, swept away by life.
All right, Let me ask this last question that I have.
Why do you love me?
- [Danielle] Why do I love you?
I love you because of your heart for people.
I think that's something that I always think
about even when we were friends
because of the person you are like
you're very genuine, nice, loving, and caring, you know?
And like just the way you think, even though I hate
that you paid the devil's advocate, like 90% of your life.
I still love that one.
You give people the benefit
of the doubt and two you think things through
you're a reflection of me, even though we're very different.
So
- [Mike] Thank you.
Made me blush a couple of times.
I love you because like, you're, you're a dreamer.
I mean, I think that's like one of the reasons why I fell
in love with you at first, because you go big in
you're not scared to go bigger than life itself sometimes.
And I loved that also your heart too
like your heart for people, just your power.
You're very powerful.
And I think sometimes, you know
you don't recognize that, but yeah, you're powerful.
And I, I love that.
- Hey, it's, Ashika here from the skin deep.
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