in 1983 a shitty game
sis Chainsaw Massacre was released for
the Atari 2600 by wizard video games it
was a tragic failure and tried to aim
for the adult market it's pixelated
violence was enough to get it banned
from stores or hidden behind the counter
limiting its sales to obscurity for them
an ideal hit movie based game would
become a nightmare but had the game been
well known nobody would have expected
nor would they have wished to see as
much of the mad and McCobb dudu diary of
[ __ ] as they were to see in that
sucky ass game close to 25 years later
it will be discovered by one of the most
frustrated gaming geeks on the internet
the angry video game nerd
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the angriest game are you ever
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what we got here
bunch of [ __ ] I see unfortunately this
is kind of my thing
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how much is this one right here a
hundred a hundred as in like a hundred
dollars no [ __ ] for brains 100 centavos
of course a hundred dollars we are
living in the USA ain't we I'll take it
for 50
it's a hunger it's a piece of [ __ ] look
at this look at this stock label I mean
do you know what this is supposed to be
can you tell me what this is I have no
idea what that is I can tell you what it
looks like it looks like the [ __ ] stain
in the bottom of my drawers right now
this is a [ __ ] stain on a shitty game
that perfectly just sums it all up that
there is a rare video game boy
I know unfortunately I'm like like flies
on a piece of [ __ ] because I just can't
stay away from this stuff that Norden we
ordinarily not would shell for $300 I'll
tell you why because that is one of the
first horror movie video games ever made
are you gonna buy it or are you just
going to look at it okay cause if you're
gonna look at it you put it right back
down on the [ __ ] table I'll tell you
what yeah yeah it's still hungry and
I'll tell you what Ashley okay what'd
you give me a hundred and fifty fifty
what are you talking about a nation to
be you here keep your drawers on now
shorty I will throw in this one for free
and free our EEE free yes free $150
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all right Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the
Atari 2600 let's pop this [ __ ] [ __ ] in
and give it a go now I gotta admit
there's really not much to say you
control Leatherface the chainsaw
murdering psychopath and you just go
around killing people that's right
you're the bad guy now I think I
understand why this game was so
offensive sure the graphics don't look
too violent but just the idea the goal
of the game is to murder innocent girls
damn look at that you get a thousand
points every time you slice the living
flesh off somebody that's it go
Leatherface cut them [ __ ] up get her
get her dad now compared to something
like Grand Theft Auto this doesn't look
like much except here the only goal is
the slaughter people where isn't Grand
Theft Auto there's other objectives now
as far as Atari goes there's not much
point of complaining about the graphics
but could they have at least made his
chainsaw a different color than his body
it just blends in it's like his arms are
like tangled together or he has like a
big jagged dick coming out of his chest
like what the hell man the dead girl's
are another thing that confuses me what
is this I see two puddles of blood but
what's happened to her body I mean I
know it's all cut up but looking at it
it just doesn't make any sense
is she upside down it really takes a lot
of imagination to see this as anything
other than a colored mess of pixels
another thing really screwed up is that
the vehicle is almost as big as the
house and the trees are huge the trunks
alone are half as wide as the house and
they're further back which means that
they're probably even bigger than that
the scale of perspective in this game is
all [ __ ] up then there's hay and
wheelchairs and animal skulls what
happened in this field before you got
there was there somebody going around in
a wheelchair gunning down bulls the
sound effects just sucked my ass it's
Atari so you can't expect much but all
you hear is just the farting of the
chainsaw and this high-pitched beep
I mean I've been wondering what the [ __ ]
is this beeping sound for but according
to rumor it's supposed to be the girl
screaming now I say rumor because that's
really a stretch now what the hell I'm
stuck god damn it so while you're
running around you got to dodge every
object you see because if you touch
anything and I mean if you touch
anything if just the edge of your body
makes contact with one foreign pixel
you're stuck
look I'm just gonna try to go by this
thing and look I can't [ __ ] move this
doesn't even make any sense
what kind of [ __ ] would be
immobilized by some random object just
lying on the ground what a shitload of
[ __ ]
sometimes you're chasing a girl and she
keeps disappearing and reappearing
behind you so they have to like some
kind of teleportation skill that would
be a good thing to have if a
psycho-killer is chasing after you
unfortunately it doesn't look like they
can teleport far the worst thing about
this is that the more you use your
chainsaw the more you use up your fuel
that's right the [ __ ] thing runs on
gas when you run out of fuel you're dead
so when the game's over
the screen goes black like a Mortal
Kombat fatality and the girl kicks you
in the butt how violent she kicks you in
the rear now I can take bodies getting
slashed apart with the chainsaw but a
kick in the ass
that's [ __ ] hardcore [ __ ] this game
what a piece of [ __ ] your videos yeah
would you give me a tour yeah okay well
here's the games you see here's the
games and right here that's it so the
tour is over and you can use expediency
actually hey and remember in your
chronologically confuse you you like
totally mentioned that part of that like
like John Rambo well your other actually
making a new Rambo John Rambo we're back
you're totally right on the ball right
on the money
right on my Bob hey man I got a friend
named Lester and he like really wants to
be in like one of your videos man okay
who do you like when you did ET review
like you're just like totally like
buddy's like Nate in the review like in
the middle of it when I'm not talking
about John well kind of editing software
do you use because you know I actually
would like to become a angry nerd
reviewer just like you but like I was
thinking like what will be easier is if
I just like got a knife cut you open
like got inside of you and actually beat
me
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be cool be calm be collected hey what's
that over there oh you [ __ ]
what the [ __ ] you do to me come on man
this is [ __ ] [ __ ] I guarantee
it's gonna be better tasting that
chicken what's than what's in store for
you next
yeah
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so what do you think there nerd boy
how's the game going
yeah geez oh man before Todd 2600 but if
you don't like playing video games
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you