- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Go family.
If you are in an abusive relationship
and relate to this video, don't be afraid to seek help.
The emergency hotline is in the description below.
When people talk about abusive relationships,
they usually think about
their parents or a romantic partner.
However, being in an abusive friendship is just as real
and just as serious a struggle.
And it's unfortunately one that's often overlooked by many.
Abuse can be difficult to recognize
when it's coming from a friend
as it can easily be excused
as a bit of good natured teasing or tough love.
With that being said, here are seven warning signs
you may be in an abusive friendship.
One, they intimidate you.
Do you have a friend who's constantly intimidating you
just to get their way with you?
Studies show that intimidation
is one of the most common tactics of emotional abuse.
By intimidating you,
they're trying to assert their dominance over you
and keep you in line.
They may do this by insulting you, humiliating you,
threatening you, blaming you,
or outdoing you to make you feel inferior to them.
As much as you want to speak out and confront them about it,
you're afraid it will only make things worse
or that you won't be able to fight back against them.
You may feel guilty for upsetting them,
ashamed that you've been a bad friend to them,
and angry at yourself for not being able
to stand up to them.
Two, they don't respect you.
Does your friend borrow your things
without asking for permission
and conveniently forget to return them
or demand that you adjust your schedule to fit theirs,
but then ditch you the moment someone
or something more interesting comes along?
If you answered yes,
your so-called friend may say
that they love and care about you,
but in reality, they don't respect you.
As seen in studies conducted by researchers
Dr. Meyer and Dr. Coulter,
when your friendship lacks the basic
and fundamental element of mutual respect,
it can quickly turn toxic.
They may belittle your opinions, your beliefs,
your choices, and your preferences.
Your voice doesn't matter to them
and they can't be bothered to care
about your feelings either.
Three, they don't listen to you.
Does your friend make you feel ignored
or invisible all the time?
Do they often dismiss your opinions
without so much as a second thought
or disregard what you have to say?
A lack of open communication and understanding
is another very telling sign of a dysfunctional friendship.
They never take anything you say seriously.
They hardly ever ask what you think
or how you feel about something.
And they don't value your perspective or your ideas.
Your communication is largely one-sided.
They expect you to listen to them,
even though they never do the same for you.
And it shows a glaring lack of empathy, respect,
and consideration on their part.
Four, they don't show remorse.
Your friend rarely apologizes
when they've done something wrong.
But in the few times that they do,
it always feels insincere and not genuine.
They're not afraid to break your things, betray your trust,
or hurt your feelings because they think
that one simple sorry will fix everything.
And they think that they can just get away with anything
as long as they apologize for it afterwards.
So, they pressure you into forgiving them.
They may say things like can't you just get over it
or sorry, I didn't think it was a big deal.
But the moment you do get over it and accept their apology,
they just do it all over again.
If this is the case,
it's because they were never
really sorry in the first place.
Five, they're overly possessive of you.
Does your friend want you
to be their friend and their friend only.
They get angry with you for spending
too much time with anyone else
and don't want you hanging out
with someone else when they're not there.
They don't give you the space that you need sometimes.
They keep you away from other important people in your life
because they're jealous
and afraid of being abandoned by you.
No matter how much you assure them
that that's never gonna happen,
they just won't let go of you.
Possessiveness may seem flattering but it is not healthy.
Number six, they're overly dependent on you.
Does your friend always depend on you
to help them out of a tough situation
or clean up the mess they've made,
regardless of whether you have things
to take care of in your own life?
They rope you into all of their needless drama
and want to keep you at their beck and call 24/7.
Studies show that codependency
is an unhealthy friendship dynamic
and it often leads to a damaged sense of identity,
lingering resentment, and self-destructive tendencies.
They selfishly take up most
of your time, energy, and attention.
They ask you to attend all their needs
but never once think about yours.
And seven, they can't be trusted.
Finally, your friend can't be trusted at all.
You've caught them lying more than once
and always try to talk their way
out of it by gaslighting you.
They may say things like, oh, you must've misunderstood.
Or maybe I don't remember that.
They break their promises, gossip about you,
and share your secrets to other people.
They have no problem taking advantage of you
or sabotaging your chances of success
if it means they can get ahead.
Do you relate to any of these signs mentioned here?
Do you think you might be the victim
of an abusive friendship?
Let us know in the comments below.
Being in an abusive relationship with a close friend
is hard to come to terms with
because most of the time they don't start out that way.
Know when enough is enough
and do what is best for you and your mental health.
Even if it means leaving your former friend behind.
If you found this video helpful,
be sure to like and share it with someone
who might benefit from it, too.
Subscribe to Psych2Go for more videos
and we'll see you next time.