I've dealt with lots of strange people
in my life I'm a clinical psychologist
and that isn't to say that everyone that
I've dealt with was strange because
that's not the case but I have
encountered some very strange people and
you know the way to deal with strange
people is to you never lie to a strange
person that's the thing especially if
they're paranoid you never lie to
someone who's paranoid it will come back
to bite you and if you're in an extreme
situation with someone who's very
unpredictable the only thing you have
that works is the truth that works I'll
tell you a little story this is in my
book so I had this landlord in Montreal
he lived next door to me and he was an
exhales angels biker he'd spent a lot of
time in prison and his wife had
borderline personality disorder and she
committed suicide when I lived there and
here's a rough guy and he was at
québécois he spoke uol which I could
hardly understand and he didn't really
know what to make of me and I didn't
really know what to make of him but we
got along you know I was very careful
talking to him as you might imagine but
but I was it was very anyway we went
over my wife and I went over there and
we had the spaghetti dinner one night
and we sort of communicated and I bought
a poster from him because he made these
wooden posters that had neon on them and
that's how he made a living he'd kind of
trained himself to be a bit of an
electronics guy and so he made these
things and he was trying to quit
drinking and we talked about that he was
a lot older than me he was like 20 years
older than me I was about 25 at this
point and we got along pretty well but
every now and then he'd go out and get
and drink and he could really drink you
know like he was one of these guys who
could drink like 60 beer and you think
well no one can drink that much and
you're wrong I studied alcohol for like
ten years some of my subjects fathers
drank 40 ounces of vodka a day and had
been doing it for 20 years so you can
drink a lot and he could drink a lot and
what would happen he was trying to not
drink but he'd go out and go on a binge
and then he'd be gone for like three
days and he'd drink up all his money and
then we'd hear him out in the backyard
howling at the moon with this little
little ugly dog he had you know and he'd
howling the dog would
and he'd howl and the dog would howl and
and it was rather unsettling and made my
wife nervous and and but worse you know
now and then he'd come to the door like
3:00 in the morning eh and he'd knock on
the door and needs to be standing there
and I don't know how much experience
you've had with rough guys who are
alcoholic and who were drunk but it's
they can be upright and unconscious at
the same time and so that was the state
that he was in you know he'd be just
swaying and he'd asked me if I would
like to buy his toaster or his microwave
because he needed some money to keep
drinking and you know I didn't really
want to buy his toaster or his microwave
but when the exhales angel Jew all
speaking 60 beer drunk okay but qua
biker shows up at your door at 3:00 in
the morning and offers you to sell
offers to sell you his microwave huh the
easiest thing is to say I really need a
microwave so so you know I bought the
microwave and the toaster and some other
things but then but then my wife talked
to me and she like my landlord you know
even though she was afraid of him she
liked him and and she said you can't buy
any more any more appliances because
it's not good for him and I thought huh
that's an interesting problem you know
so what the hell am I gonna do about
this because no I don't want to buy your
microwave just doesn't seem to be the
right answer at 3:00 in the morning so
so one time he took me out on his 750
Honda and he put me on the back of it he
wanted to show me his lair I guess his
hangouts and I got his wife's helmet on
but it didn't fit it just sit on the top
of my head
and he said I go to the bike it he said
if the cops chase us were not stopping
another way we went and we went to these
like these bars downtown on sound Leroy
they were very rough places he got into
like four fights that night because he
was a rough guy you know and these kind
of punk guys would come up to him and
sort of challenge him and act stupidly
around him and he was very skeptical and
if you were acting stupidly around him
for any length of time he just had you
because he felt that that's what you
deserved and perhaps he was right you
know
so so I had first-hand opportunity to
observe him so anyways he sure enough
about a week or two after we had this
conversation he showed up at the door
gnarrk gnarrk gnarrk
you know opened the door and they
standing there you know with his eyes
kind of half closed and he was swaying
and he had I don't remember what the
appliance was this time but he wanted to
sell it to me and I said I thought all I
can buy this I'm not gonna buy this
because I know you're trying to quit
drinking and if I give you this money
then you're gonna go and drink it up and
it's not going to be good for you and
what else did I tell him I think I told
him as well that this whole thing of him
coming to my house at like 2:00 in the
morning
was scaring my wife who he liked and
that it had to stop and believe me man I
was thinking about what I was saying
because he was watching me
like a rough guy watches you and a rough
guy watches you like this he thinks if
you say one thing that indicates
contempt you're gonna bloody well pay
for it and so I was finding my words
like you know I was crossing a swamp and
trying to look for the for the rocks
underneath the surface and I said what I
had to save Harry very carefully and he
looked at me for about 15 seconds and
that's a long time to be looked at at
3:00 in the morning and he left and he
never came back to sell me anything
again and we got along fine but that's a
good illustration of this issue with
regards to truth and success in the
strange land because I was in the
strange land when I was talking to my
neighbor my landlord Dan and I managed
to say what was true carefully enough so
despite the fact that he was a very
violent person and that he was a very
intoxicated person and that he had every
reason to be suspicious of me and we
couldn't communicate very well and I
didn't do what he wanted that he took it
and he left and there was no problem and
life went on just fine after that
and so we don't want to underestimate
the utility of establishing this bounded
relationship with the ideal and
attempting to live with some nobility in
truth while aiming at the highest ideal
there's nothing about that that's
anything but strengthening and positive
and it's exactly what you need to set
against the catastrophe and uncertainty
of life
you
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