Ladies and gentlemen,
my first guest starred in the "Hangover" movies.
His latest film, "Puss in Boots," opens Friday.
Please welcome Zach Galifianakis.
(audience cheers)
(jazzy music)
(audience cheers)
I've been under there for the longest time.
Didn't you feel me pinch you
during the Reba McIntyre interview?
(Conan and audience laugh)
I've been in there for a week.
What's wrong with the traditional entrance, pal?
I don't like doing that.
(Conan and audience laugh)
Well, so good to see you.
Nice to see you too.
I'm just gonna try and reassemble this,
if you don't mind.
Thank you.
Should I be winded from trying to break balsa wood?
(audience laughs)
Oh, that's so much less impressive,
now that you said it.
Well, you know.
"This was pure mahogany."
(Zach and audience laugh)
You know, I will say,
you look like you could smash through anything.
You, I've gotta say, you look fit.
Yeah. [Conan] You look fit.
Yeah. [Conan] You look like
you've been-
I'm a real, I'm not doing a bit.
I'm a real gym rat.
[Both] A real gym rat.
Yeah, I pump iron at the gym.
You're a gym rat.
If I'm not at Gold's,
I'm either at Equinox or jogging on the beach.
(Conan and audience laugh)
Really? Yeah.
You're just constantly going at it.
Yeah. You're just constantly
working out.
Always been fit, my whole life.
Real gym rat.
[Conan] Gym rat? Mm-hmm.
[Conan] You just keep saying "gym rat."
If you say it enough, it happens.
So you think you're a gym rat?
Well, sometimes I consider myself gym rat.
(Conan and audience laugh)
Hey.
Hi Zach, how are you?
I'm good.
That's nice, you two get along.
Now, uh-
How are you doing?
More than fine.
Oh, good.
How about you?
(audience laughs)
You were saying?
(Conan and audience laugh)
We've known each other a very long time,
and you used to come on my old late night show
back in the late 50s, early 60s,
and you always had great jokes.
And I was thinking today,
do you remember the first joke you ever told?
When I was trying to be a stand-up comic?
[Conan] Yeah.
Yeah, I started doing stand-up
in the back of a hamburger restaurant in Times Square,
and the first joke I ever wrote and performed was,
"I was with this girl the other night,
we were at her house, we had been drinking,
and she said, 'Zach, you can just sleep here.
You can sleep on my futon.'
And I said to her,
'I don't sleep on anything that rhymes with crouton.'"
(Conan and audience laugh)
That's an actual joke Can you believe it?
you wrote and told. Yeah.
First joke.
How did that- It's not really a joke,
it's more of just a sentence.
Yeah.
(audience laughs)
I was thinking, how did that go over?
Oh, it bombed.
[Conan] Yeah, horribly, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So, uh, you ever made the crouton joke since?
Have you ever gone back to it?
I just did, just there.
That was it?
(Conan and audience laugh)
About a 12-year span.
I thought maybe you were dining out on that joke,
that was a regular occurrence.
No, that's a great icebreaker at parties.
"I've got great things to say!"
(Conan and audience laugh)
"Ask me to stay over and sleep on the futon!
That's the only way it works!"
(Zach laughs)
I will say this about you,
you're not a overtly political comic.
You're very silly,
but have you ever done a lot of humor about politics?
No, I really don't.
I like politics, I'm a little disappointed.
I'm a big fan of, uh, Sarah Palin,
and I have the, uh, excuse me.
I'm a big fan of "para-sailin'."
(audience laughs)
That's different.
Totally got confused.
(Conan laughing)
So you like parasailing, then?
Yeah.
You miss the futon joke now?
Yeah.
(Conan and audience laugh)