Heya playa, are you a part of the InCel community or you're a person that feels rejected and
lonely all the time?
If you are, don't worry.
I have a special message that I want to share with you guys so I'll do that right after
this.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
Now for those of you that don't know what InCel means, it means that you are involuntarily
celibate.
Meaning that you can't find anyone or no one is willing to date you.
Within the InCel community, there are a lot of different reasons given why people can't
find other people to date or even interact with but, the first thing I really wanted
to focus on here, especially if you're someone that feels lonely and rejected is that relationships
aren't the end all be all.
I know it may feel that way given that society, and the media and culture all push this narrative
that everyone has to go out there and either have random encounters with people or find
true love.
But, neither of those things are definitive of who you are as a person.
People tend to look at their romantic records as a sign of worth and value but the two don't
exactly correlate.
They do overlap but they're not one and the same.
Some of the most influential people throughout history weren't the most suave and romantic
but they still created such a huge impact on our lives day to day.
So if you're someone that's involuntarily celibate, you can still have a profound impact
on people's lives.
You can dedicate your life to finding a path and a purpose that can really make a difference
in this world.
I know what you're thinking, I can have my path and my purpose but why am I undeserving
of love?
And the truth of the matter is, you're not.
You are deserving of love.
One thing we fail to realize is that every single person brings their own unique story
to the table.
You have your own thoughts and feelings and experiences that you can share that no one
else can replicate.
And that isn't to say completely divert your attention away from what you would consider
to be a shortcoming.
That can be anything like feeling like you're too ugly, feeling like you have a speech impediment,
or you're too short or your mental illness gets in the way of things.
Because one thing we can all agree on is that rejection stings.
And after getting rejected time after time, it can make you start to feel numb or even
angry towards people that won't accept you.
And that is an incredibly hard road to walk but it still doesn't mean you're not deserving
of love.
But I really want to define what I mean by love here because I think you might be thinking
I mean romantic love.
One of the positions I've heard people from the InCel community take and correct me if
I'm wrong down in the comments below is that guys have it way harder to find someone than
girls ever will.
And part of their reasoning is that men are expendable in our society.
If you aren't a certain height, if you don't have a certain jaw structure, if you don't
have money, or fame, or fortune or any of these things then you're not really someone
that women would generally care about.
And I can understand that position and where people who feel that way are coming from but
when I use the term love, I mean love shared for you towards another person, another being,
another thing, another activity.
The love you put into something you truly care about.
Romantic love is a mutual experience shared by two or more different people.
And I think when a lot of people use the term romantic love or say that they're in love
with someone, what they may mean is infatuation, attraction or lust.
To truly love someone is to accept them for who they are, the good with the bad.
The ugly with the beautiful.
And that's something that hits not only the InCel community or people who feel lonely,
every single person on this earth wants to feel loved and know that they can love other
people as well and we're all in the process of figuring that out.
But what ends up happening is that we look externally for our own worth.
We tend to think, well, if other people don't accept us, if other people don't find us attractive
or like being around us or want to talk to us, then we are not worthy of love but the
two don't exactly match up.
What ends up happening is the initial space where we should be practicing self-love and
self-care ends up becoming an external search.
We look to others to kind of feel validated, to feel important, to feel heard and to feel
loved.
And that will never happen until we can first come to love ourselves.
We need to accept our own good and bad.
Our own ugly with our own beautiful.
And I know, those feelings of loneliness and just wanting to be with someone will still
be there but, once you've come to learn to accept yourself, it's easier for you to find
your place in this world.
To see where your path and purpose is and to dedicate yourself to something you can
truly love and care about to make a huge difference in this world.
I'm not gonna say fluffy things like "There are plenty of fish in the sea", "There's someone
out there for everyone" but I'm also not gonna say things like "You're hopeless.
There's never a chance for you.
You should just give up".
I think your own worth comes from how you define it, not from anyone else.
But now I want to know, what do you think?
Do you feel like all the different factors in your life are just making it impossible
for you to find someone to have a relationship with?
Whether it's your looks or your height or anything of that nature?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
This is a tough topic to address because I'm sure everyone has their own lived experiences
which is shaping the way that they see things so, if you enjoyed this video hit the thumbs
up.
If you didn't enjoy it, make sure to let me know in the comments, let's start a discussion
guys.
And on that note, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.