[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]
So the good news is that Mattie doesn't seem to have made it down to the crater and gone all Super Saiyan.
The bad news is that we have no idea where she is- so come nightfall, it is anybody's game.
I can't believe there's no sign of her anywhere-
Hey Laura! And, hey... Danny. Um- I got news! They just marched the little Alchemy Club kids into the crater and, um-
Can I ask you something?
Is it more important than the evil plot?
Well- no, but- um last time I was here Theo said some stuff, and um I was just wondering...
Am I in the friendzone?
Kirsch are- are you seriously asking me this?
Fine. Fine. If that's the only way you can think of women, then yes. You have been "friend-zoned."
-Yes! I'm in the friendzone! -What?
I have made it into the friendzone!
Kirsch are you happy about this?
Of course I am. I mean, yeah I'd totally want more, because you know, you're super smart and
and way tough and smokin' hot. But you know, I get it. You're just not into me that way.
And, you know, even if you don't like me the way I like you, I still think you're still awesome.
You're like the Joan of Arc...of us. Why wouldn't it be awesome to be your friend?
Kirsch. That's really sweet!
Oh I am all up in your friendzone!
Please. Never say that again.
Now, what did you need to tell Laura?
Oh, right. The Corvae SWAT-dudes are building this machine that looks like one of those dangly planet
things had babies with a magnifying glass.
They're going to kill Moby's dick!
So Vordenberg kills the fish. Why would that be bad?
Well, I don't know if I'm okay with Lophii suffering...
By which I mean, I can study it dead.
I don't think it's that simple.
C'mon! Angry Sumerian demigod!
Do you remember how effective our last attempt to kill it was?
So Vordenberg tries and fails. I'm still not seeing the downside.
Um, it gets loose and eats Europe?
Or worse, he succeeds and its death throes drive everyone for a thousand miles insane.
Maybe it rips a hole in the fabric of reality. Or maybe it apotheosizes into something far worse than we've ever seen.
There's a reason Mattie decided our best bet is to just bury it alive.
You know, just for once it would be nice to get good news for a change. Like...
An accidental delivery of puppies. Instead of fish murder and possible super-vampires.
What are we going to do?
I don't think we have a choice.
We can't risk him killing it.
How do we stop him? Our best bros are on duty 24/7.
Well, there are still a few Summers who trust me enough to help. I'll gather them up,
if Kirsch can distract them with more of that weird fish beer, we'll sneak into the crater,
sabotage the machine and save Lophii just after... 3AM?
Sounds like... the only plan that we've got.
So what are we supposed to do until 3?
It's already been a long night. We should probably just try to get some sleep.
[Snarky, tiny gay "I'm so winning rn" laugh]
-Boom. -You can't do that. You can't do that!
Yes I can, I rolled a four.
No, you have to go in the House of Beauty before you can land any further.
If this game is supposed to be the underworld, then why is there a House of Beauty?
You don't think death can be beautiful?
Oh my god, full of yourself much?
C'mon I didn't mean it like that-
Oh, you were totally going for the whole "Belle Dame Sans Merci" vibe.
"I am Death, trod under a fair maid's feet.
No you're not.
I was thinking about what you said about Mattie- drinking the Anglerfish's blood.
How you were going to do it too...
Do you think it would have killed you?
I don't know.
Would you care?
How can you say that?
You think I hid you here after everything because I don't care?
Because the thought of something happening to you doesn't make me feel like I can't breathe?
And I don't know how I'm supposed to feel around you or what I'm supposed to do because-
I can't.
Why not?
Because right now I'm really hoping that this means you're going to change.
You kiss me and it-
it cracks me open and all of my stupid, messy hopes come tumbling out in "maybes" and "somedays"
and how is that fair?
Well who the hell cares about fair?
I do.
Or maybe I'm just catastrophizing because- between Mattie and Vordenberg we are in the middle of a catastrophe.
Maybe after everything settles down...
we can talk.
If we survive.
Sorry- But it's nearly three. We gotta hustle or we'll be leaving Danny & the Summers in the lurch.
Hi, Laura's viewers.
You're probably wondering what I'm doing here, right?
Aren't I supposed to be off helping to save the Anglerfish?
Yes. It's just- the thought of risking my life for some... monster? I just- I couldn't. So-
I stayed here.
Dusted. Made some snickerdoodles. Passed out from exhaustion.
Only, when I woke up, there really were bloody footprints on the carpet, and I am scared that
something very, very bad is happening.
Oh darling, I can pretty much guarantee it.
See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices end theme]