Three basic facts defined Marcus Licinius Crassus life.
First, he was rich.
A billionaire, by our standards.
Second, he used that wealth to support great politicians.
I've talked before about how he was secretly funneling money to Clodius behind the scenes,
but before that he did the same thing with Caesar, and other populists before him.
Third, Crassus's entire career was marked by his rivalry with Pompey.
It started decades earlier, when Pompey took credit for a war that Crassus had won, and
over the years the grievances piled up.
And yet, time and time again, circumstance forced the two men to work together.
That brings us to their second consulship together, in 55 B.C.E.
Late in the year, Crassus was getting ready to leave Rome and head to Syria, for his 5-year
term as governor.
It was an open secret that once Crassus got to Syria, he intended to go to war against
the Parthians.
On the day of his departure, a crowd confronted him, lead by a Tribune of the Plebs.
The Tribune tried to use his Veto to stop Crassus from leaving the city, but another
Tribune stepped forward and Veto'd his Veto.
The crowd blocked his way, and accused him of going to war for his own personal greed.
They refused to let Crassus pass until Pompey showed up and calmed everyone down.
I'm sure Crassus found it super annoying that it was Pompey who had to rescue him.
One more grievance!
Add it to the list!
Crassus arrived in Syria early, and started to get everything ready for his unprovoked
war against the Parthian Empire.
In the spring, Crassus took command of his legions, and marched east.
His son Publius had come from Gaul with some Gallic cavalry, and was now serving as Crassus's
cavalry commander.
The army reached the Euphrates river, which marked the boarder between Roman Syria and
Parthian Mesopotamia.
He crossed the river, and just like that, Crassus had started a war with the Parthians.
Many of the nearby settlements had sizable Greek populations, and were reasonably friendly
towards Rome.
As Crassus approached with his army, many of them felt comfortable surrendering to the
Romans without a fight.
But it wasn't always so easy.
One city named Zenodotium sent a friendly message to Crassus asking for a Roman garrison.
Crassus sent 100 men, basically a Roman Century, to occupy the city.
When the Romans arrived, the locals ambushed them, and had them arrested.
Later, the entire Century was executed.
When Crassus discovered what happened, he showed up with his entire army.
He stormed the city, and sold the its inhabitants into slavery.
For the rest of the summer, he marched all over Mesopotamia, capturing settlements, and
installing Roman garrisons.
At the end of the season, he turned his army around and marched back to Syria.
His campaign was a success.
He left 8,000 Roman soldiers behind, scattered throughout Mesopotamia in small garrisons,
guarding his new conquests.
But one thing should have been bothering him.
So far, the Parthians had not responded.
That winter, the King of Armenia, who was an ally to Rome, came to see Crassus.
The King asked Crassus to consider invading through Armenia, rather than through Mesopotamia.
He said that going through the mountains would give the Roman infantry a huge advantage against
the Parthian cavalry.
If he agreed, the King promised to provide Crassus with an additional 30,000 infantry
and 16,000 cavalry, which would basically double the size of his army.
This isn't explicitly said in our sources, but I'm sure that in return, the Armenian
King wanted a slice of Crassus's conquests.
Crassus thought about it, but in the end he refused.
His objective was to annex Mesopotamia, and so far, that was going pretty well.
Our ancient sources all think that this was a stupid decision, and I can't say I disagree.
46,000 Armenians is a lot of Armenians.
Nevertheless, the Armenian King returned home, and the next year, Crassus crossed the Euphrates
again with 43,000 men.
So far Crassus had made an effort to stay close to the Euphrates river, but one day,
Crassus's scouts came across the signs of an army, marching away from the river, into
the desert.
This must be the Parthian response.
Some of Crassus's subordinates advised him to pull back into one of his garrisoned towns
and gather some intelligence on this mystery army, but Crassus wasn't interested in that.
He ordered the Romans to march off into the desert, in pursuit of the enemy army.
Crassus advanced at a breakneck pace.
He forced his men to eat on the march, and only let them stop for a few moments at any
water sources.
Crassus's subordinates continued to urge him to turn around, or at least stop at a water
source for a couple of days, but he ignored their advice.
After a time, some of Crassus's scouts returned.
They reported that the a huge Parthian army was very close, and that they were all on
horseback.
Crassus ordered his men to deploy in a long, thin line.
This was a pretty standard tactic.
Since the mounted Parthians would have mobility on their side, the Romans had to protect themselves
against being flanked.
Elongating the Roman line would force the Parthians to do the same, which would limit
the size of any Parthian flanking maneuver.
This is ancient warfare 101.
But Crassus wasn't sure of himself.
The fact that the Parthian army was all cavalry was throwing him for a loop.
He changed his mind.
As his men were mid-deployment, he ordered them to come back.
Instead, he had them deploy in a hollow square.
This would allow the Romans to fight on all sides, removing any danger of being flanked,
or even surrounded.
On paper this isn't necessarily the worst idea in the world, but it's definitely unorthodox.
It's one of those "it's so crazy it just might work" ideas.
Crassus's subordinates tried to talk him out of it, but his mind was made up.
The Roman square advanced as one, until they caught sight of the Parthian army.
It turns out that the Roman scouts exaggerated a bit.
The Parthian army wasn't that huge.
In fact it was considerably smaller than the Roman one.
There were only 10,000 Parthians facing off against 43,000 Romans.
Most of the Parthian army was horse archers, with some armoured heavy cavalry mixed in.
The Romans were already in their little square, so the Parthian cavalry was unopposed as they
immediately surrounded them.
When they were in position, they began to be rain arrows down on the Romans from all
sides.
Crassus responded by sending skirmishers forward to drive the horse archers away, but the Parthian
arrows forced the skirmishers to retreat.
The Parthians continued to pound the Roman square with missiles.
Now it's not quite as bad as it sounds.
The Romans knew this was coming.
They were shoulder to shoulder, and everybody was protected by their giant shields.
Most ancient archers could burn through their supply of arrows in like 10 or 15 minutes,
so the Romans just had to sit there and wait for this to happen.
Then, they could close in with the enemy, and fight on their terms.
So they waited.
And waited.
The arrows did not stop.
It turns out that the Parthians had brought a lot of arrows.
Like, a lot.
Apparently they had a small army of camels with them, each weighed down with thousands
of arrows.
Their only job was to run back and forth resupplying the horse archers.
They had basically had an infinite supply.
This possibility never occurred to the Romans.
Their shields still protected them from the worst of it, but a small percentage of the
arrows inevitably slipped through the cracks.
Another small percentage would hit a shield at exactly the right angle and go straight
through the wood.
Not very many Romans were being killed, but an alarming number were taking arrows to the
arms or feet.
In desperation, Crassus ordered the entire square forward.
Maybe if they could get close enough, the Parthians would have to stop shooting and
pull back.
It didn't work.
The arrows continued to fall.
This was getting bad.
Something needed to change.
So Crassus ordered his son, Publius, to take the cavalry and a legion and break through
the encircling Parthians.
Publius gathered the men, and charged.
And it worked.
The Parthian horse archers turned and ran.
Publius pursued.
But it didn't take long for Publius to make an unfortunate discovery.
While retreating, the Parthian archers could turn a full 180 degrees on their horses and
continue to shoot their arrows.
This is called the Parthian Shot, and it was a devastating tactic, especially in scenarios
like this.
But Publius and his cavalry ignored the arrows and kept up the momentum, chasing the Parthians
until the rest of the battle vanished in the distance.
Then, the retreating Parthians were joined by another group, doubling their size.
The Parthians swung around, and attacked.
It was all a set-up!
Publius realized his mistake too late.
His small force was immediately surrounded, and the arrows began coming down faster than
ever.
The infantry was totally pinned down.
Publius rallied the cavalry, and charged.
The Parthian heavy cavalry responded, and intercepted them.
The Parthians were armoured, and the Romans were not.
Publius's cavalry did their best, but it wasn't enough.
Publius was badly wounded, and the cavalry retreated.
They endured the Parthian arrows for a while longer, but eventually the arrows stopped,
and the Parthian cavalry charged.
Publius's men were in no condition to put up a fight.
5,300 Romans were left dead on the field, and another 500 surrendered to the Parthians.
Publius ordered one of his men to kill him, so that he wouldn't be taken alive.
Crassus didn't know that any of this was happening.
All he knew was that Publius had broken through, and that the Parthians had diverted some of
their strength to deal with him.
Then, a messenger arrived.
He told Crassus that Publius was being overrun by the Parthians.
For a time, Crassus was unable to make a decision.
Finally, he ordered the entire square forward.
They would march to Publius's aid.
Crassus had no idea that his son was already dead.
As the Romans were getting ready to march, a Parthian horseman came forward.
He started riding back and forth in front of the Roman line.
He was carrying something.
A spear.
On the end of the spear, there was a severed head.
It was Publius.
The Romans had endured a lot, but this was a terrifying sight.
They began to lose their nerve.
A groups of Romans broke from the army and tried to fight through the encircling Parthians
on their own, but the Parthian heavy cavalry intercepted them and cut them down.
Then, the Parthians continued pounding the Romans with arrows.
Finally, the sun started to set.
The Parthians pulled back.
They had rules against fighting at night, and besides, the Romans were on foot.
They weren't going far.
The Romans threw together a haphazard camp, and collected their wounded.
There were a lot of them.
Crassus was inconsolable.
He spent hours huddled on the ground, unable to move, mourning his son.
He didn't have the heart to face his men.
Two of Crassus's legates came forward and told the army that they were taking command,
and that they had the full support of the rank-and-file Centurions.
I guess if you want to be technical you could call this a mutiny, although Crassus didn't
seem to care.
The Legates decided that the Romans would march straight through the night.
The nearest town was Carrhae, which had walls and a Roman garrison.
If they could reach Carrhae, they would be safe.
They didn't bother taking down their camp, they just left it behind, along with anybody
that wasn't strong enough to walk.
Crassus tagged along, but didn't try to reassert his command.
Nobody could see a thing in the darkness.
It was a mess.
People kept on imagining that the Parthians were attacking, and sounding the alarm.
Of the people that could walk, a tonne were wounded, and after a while, they had a hard
time keeping up.
A whole bunch of wounded Romans were just abandoned on the march.
It was bad.
But by sunrise the next day, most of the exhausted survivors made it to Carrhae.
The Parthians descended on the abandoned Roman camp.
There were still a bunch of wounded there, and the Parthians killed them.
Then the Parthians fanned out all over the desert, looking for Roman stragglers, and
there were a lot of them.
Some had been abandoned on the march, and some had simply got lost in the dark.
The Parthians found one group of 2,000 that was walking in the wrong direction.
They captured as many as they could.
The Parthian general figured out that Crassus and the rest of the army were in Carrhae,
and went to negotiate.
He told them that it would be in everyone's best interest if the Romans just left Mesopotamia.
But, just to be sure, he wanted a formal peace treaty, and he wanted Crassus to sign it.
Crassus didn't want anything to do with this.
He was a broken man.
But the Roman army was either near or past mutiny, depending on your definition, and
they just wanted to go home.
They forced Crassus to go with the Parthians.
A small group of Romans went with him.
What happened next was...very strange.
The Parthian general made an over the top display about how it was so undignified for
a Roman general to be walking on foot.
He ordered a horse brought in.
The horse arrived, and it was wearing a very expensive golden bridle.
Like, obnoxiously expensive.
This was meant to somehow humiliate Crassus for his wealth.
The Parthian general told Crassus to get up on the horse.
Crassus tried to politely decline, but the Parthian general insisted.
Crassus was like, "okay..."
When he mounted the horse, and the Parthian holding its reins started running back and
forth erratically, smacking the animal and making it go nuts.
Crassus was hanging on for dear life.
The Romans stepped in.
This was weird, and an undignified, and it had to stop.
As they approached, somebody drew a sword.
There was a brief struggle, and second later, Romans and Parthians were lying dead on the
ground.
Crassus had been thrown from the horse.
Another Parthian came forward, and drew his sword.
He cut off Crassus's hand, and then his head.
Later, according to one account, the Parthians mocked Crassus's wealth one more time, by
melting down some gold, and pouring it down the throat of the severed head.
The Parthian general turned around and rode back east with his Roman prisoners.
He picked one Roman, and told him that from now on, he would answer to the name of Crassus.
He dressed his fake Crassus as a woman, and hired a bunch of prostitutes to follow him
around.
He then grabbed more Romans, and dressed them as lictors, or bodyguards, and had them follow
this fake Crassus as well.
He gave these fake lictors fake fasces, which normally represented the power of the Roman
state.
Affixed to the top of the fasces were the severed heads of other Roman captives.
The Parthian general took this horiffic procession on tour through Parthian territory.
He called it Crassus's Triumph.
In the end, a Parthian army of 10,000 defeated a Roman army of 43,000.
20,000 Romans were killed and another 10,000 were captured.
The legions' eagle standards were also taken, which was an extra level of humiliation.
At the time it was one of the worst defeats in Roman history.
Back in Rome, Crassus's death came as a shock.
Politically, it changed everything.
The Reform faction lost its most prominent financial supporter.
Pompey was now the richest man in Rome, and within a year, he would be distancing himself
from Caesar and aligning with the Conservatives.
Roman politics would never be
the same.