Translator: Emily Marturano Reviewer: TED Translators admin
I see you,
can you see me?
I bet a lot of you are thinking, well, of course, I can see you.
But can you really see me?
When I walked out here, many, if not all of you
would have took that 30 seconds to analyze how I look,
how I'm dressed, my body language,
and anything about my overall appearance.
And you would use that to create your own personal idea
of who you think Tegan really is.
And with the power of imagination,
you would have come up with different idea to the person sat next to you.
But there should be a few things in common
that being the basics.
I'm black, I'm young,
I have a mixed heritage, I'm hopefully not too badly dressed.
And the most obvious is that I walk and talk differently to most of you.
And I'm sure you're very curious to know why.
One of my favourite things to do is to explain my disability to people.
I've see the difference in reaction.
I was diagnosed with Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy at birth,
which means I have difficulty moving my arms and my legs.
People who were diagnosed with this type of Cerebral Palsy
do not experience paralyzed muscles.
Instead, they have jerking motions, which are caused by stiffness
in all four limbs.
I describe it as being as stiff as a tree.
Now, I would like to try something with you all so that you have
a better understanding of what I mean.
If you can, can you please stand now?
There's a lot of you!
(Laughter)
Okay, now I want you to put your body weight
on the front of your feet.
Kind of on your tiptoes, yeah.
And I want you to stiffen every muscle from your toes
all the way up to your jaw, like you're turning into the Hulk!
And now I want you to lift your arms and try to high five someone next to you,
while still keeping that tension.
It's difficult right?
Okay, you can all sit down now and relax.
It feels good to relax.
Unfortunately, I don't get that pleasure.
The tension that you just experienced is what I fight against every day, all day.
Somedays I can just about cope while other days I struggle
to get out of bed because I'm so tight and rigid.
I also have dystonia,
which can be more funny.
Dystonia causes my muscles to contract involuntarily and uncontrollably.
It could be a similar thing to tick, but much bigger.
I mainly get it in my right arm and that's because I'm left handed,
so I don't use my right arm that often.
So much so that I often forget that it's actually there.
My right arm definitely has a mind of its own.
I like to think of it as the evil mastermind.
It really is!
Waiting to cause trouble at worst times.
It likes to hit things over, it spills drinks,
it punches people!
Seriously it does.
I mean, I've even punched myself so you can see how crazy my arm is!
I bet a lot of you thinking,
"It's difficult being disabled."
Don't get me wrong, it is.
But because of that assumption, people don't always know how to act.
People to this day still treat me as an incapable five year old,
people apologise and pity me for the life that I have to live
Seeing disabled as such a bad thing.
Unfortunately, some still see my colour too.
That's a reaction I usually get from adults.
My favourite ones are the ones I get from children.
Children are able to use their imaginations in different ways
to how adults do.
And they come up with their own ideas to how I became this way.
I've had a little boy run up to me and ask me:
"What is your super power?"
Another boy asked me if I was a robot.
My favorite one is when I told a
little girl about my disability, and she stopped me and said:
"No, you're wrong."
"You don't have Cerebral Palsy at all."
"In fact you was caught in a house fire."
She's very serious about it, and she explained to how
I was saved from the house fire but it damaged my arms and my legs.
She wouldn't take no for an answer.
But I love how children are able to find the positive side of things
and add humor.
And to not let things get in the way.
I forgot my line.
(Applauding)
Thank you.
I got it now, I got it now!
One thing that I realised and struggled with is that
it is difficult to love and accept who I truly am when people often judge
by what is on the outside rather than what is on the inside.
Why is that?
One thing that helped my condition,
is horse riding.
The movement of the horse while riding allows my body to relax, stretch,
be strengthened and be exercised while still having fun.
And after 14 years, at Avon Riding Center,
it is still my favorite thing in the world.
But for different reasons.
As a kid, I struggled to fit in
and I couldn't do what all the other kids were doing.
But riding gave me the freedom that I so desperately craved.
Nowadays riding in more than just a physical freedom,
it's also mental freedom.
It allows me to forget everything that's been going on,
to release emotions that I've held on to, and to conquer new challenges.
Ten years ago, I started Dressage,
and for those of you who don't know what that is:
Or as I like to call it:
Ballet on a horse!
You have to keep a clear mind when competing
after all anything can happen.
You're riding a wild, live animal and anything can go wrong.
I found this out in 2013.
When I was competing at a National Championships,
it was my first one after having surgery,
and I was riding a horse that was known to cause trouble!
Unfortunately.
We were doing everything amazingly
and I was sure that I was going to win.
And then, for one second
I got distracted.
And in that second something in the audience scared my horse,
And that was it, zoom!
Off she went flying around the whole place,
knocking everything down.
Thankfully, I managed to stay on.
But let's just say we didn't win that year.
I bet a lot of you are thinking,
"She'd be crazy to get back on that horse!"
That's what I tought, my coach thought and my mum thought,
but 10 minutes later, I got back on
and I rode her again.
Because I chose to ride her again,
I was later scouted and selected
to join the British Dressage Team
where I'll be training to compete in the Paralympics in the near future.
(Applause)
Thank you.
It's going to be a long and tough journey,
but I know that I'll get there.
Because after all,
anything is possible.
And by following my videos that I create on my YouTube channel,
you'll be able to follow me
to completing my dreams.
Now, as I'm coming to the end of my talk.
I would like to ask you all to find your inner child
Don't be afraid to ask questions.
But not just the serious ones.
Ask the ones that your inner child would.
And don't let your adult filter take control of you.
Yes, I have a disability,
and yes, it is challenging.
But after years of accepting it,
I now see that it makes me who I am.
I wouldn't be who I am, or where I am today
if I didn't have it.
That being said it's only part of me.
I not just my disability.
I am me, Tegan Vincent-Cooke:
a young, black, disabled,
well, hilarious,
entrepreneur,
YouTuber,
and soon to be Paralympian.
I see you and now, you can see me!
Thank you very much.
(Applause)