- So how can you grab his attention
without looking desperate?
That's exactly what we're gonna talk about today.
Check it out.
(gentle music)
Hey there, my name's Mat Boggs
and I'm the founder of the Love and Relationships Division
here at the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is empowering people to create
and live a life they love.
And so if you like this video I encourage you
to click that subscribe button and click that little bell
because every week we bring you videos
to empower you in your love life.
One of the skills that is the hardest skill to start
to get better at when dating is the skill of flirting.
Flirting, how do you flirt?
It feels like some people were just born great flirters,
right, they just knew how to do it,
They knew how to grab people's attention.
And then for the rest of us on this planet
when it comes to flirting, it's a bit more awkward, right?
Especially the more you like somebody, right?
The more you like somebody, how often do you just get stiff
and you just get all awkward and robotic on that date.
And you're like, oh, I, I really like you.
And I want you to like me.
And it's like, how do we flirt in a fun easy way
that actually instantly grabs someone's attention?
Well, today I'm gonna bring you five easy ways
that should make this way more effective, way more fun,
way more simple for you to flirt.
And I've even broken it up in an acronym
to make it easy to remember.
And we're taking the word flirt here
and we're turning it into an acronym.
There we go, beautiful.
And I'm calling this the FLIRT method.
And in fact, you know what, this is so cool
we're gonna trademark this right now.
Beautiful.
So we've got here the FLIRT method.
It is trademarked.
And so here we go.
What does the F stand for?
The F stands for first.
In other words be first,
be the one who initiates the flirting.
See you may think that it's the man's job to flirt with you.
His job is to let you know that he's interested.
And while that could be partially true
from eons ago, beginning of time,
women have often made the first move
when it comes to relationships.
Because men they're like is it safe to approach her?
Does she want me to approach her?
I'm not sure.
He's looking for a sign or a signal from you.
In other words, a big green light from you that it's okay
to come over and flirt back.
And so women will often send the first move with a look
or a smile, or she may even be so bold as to beckon him
over to her when they're out and about at a fair or a club
or church or wherever you are.
But use your eyes, use your smile, use your body language
to flirt with him.
It's often look at him and then look back
and then look back at him and hold that eye contact.
But don't be afraid to be first in your flirting with him
because then that actually opens the door to him
flirting back with you.
The L stands for language, which is use the right language,
both body language and verbal language.
So body language, couple quick tips is be mindful
of closed versus open body language.
Closed is really easy especially if you're nervous
to be closed.
You fold your arms, cross your legs, turn away.
If you're cold, you're folding your arms,
it's closed body language.
Open body language is turn towards him,
be open and receptive.
And then using the right verbal language.
Here's a really easy tip to remember
is simply compliment him.
Let him know that he looks really good in that jacket.
Let him know you love those shoes.
Let him know that wow,
that outfit looks really good on him.
Something that compliments
something that you like about him.
That's a perfect way to begin flirting with someone.
You can even be a bit more playful and say oh no,
you are not allowed to wear that jacket.
That is way too hot on you.
Oh my gosh you can't stand too close.
That cologne drives me wild.
Something like that that kind of signals your attraction
for him is really, really fun flirty language.
Now if you wanna take the language even deeper
and shift over to texting and how to flirt via texting
instead of just telling you here
I've got an entire ebook where you can actually copy
and paste the text.
They've got a bunch of really cool flirty text in there.
It's a free gift for me to you.
I'll put the link in the description
and in the comments for you as well.
Now the I in flirt is interesting
which is be interesting.
Well it's actually not.
See this is what most people would think
is they need to be interesting.
Let's cross that out.
It's no, it's be interested.
Be interested in him.
You see if you want to instantly grab someone's attention
it's important to remember that people's favorite topic
on the planet is themselves.
And in fact when we're our most nervous
it's easiest to talk about what we know the best
which is ourself and what's going on.
And that's why when a guy's often really nervous
he won't ask you questions about you.
He'll just talk all about himself.
And you're like God, he was kind of an egotistical dude.
He only talked about himself.
Well, he maybe egotistical
but he also may just be really nervous
because you're beautiful and you're amazing.
And he didn't know what else to talk about.
So when you are interested in him,
when you're interested in what he's interested in,
you're interested in those topics,
you're gonna instantly grab his attention
because now you're connecting to him on the things
that he's most interested in as well.
The R in flirt stands for radiate positive energy.
And what this means is be mindful.
Be conscious of generating your positive state
before you go out.
Because people can feel you,
they can feel what kind of state you're in.
If you're positive state, or if you're in a negative state
and you've simply slapped on a smile
and you really don't want to be out
but you're forcing yourself to be out.
Men will pick up on that.
And so just like athletes before a sprinter
or a endurance runner will run a race, they'll warm up,
they'll warm up their muscles.
They'll go for a jog and you can actually warm up
your positive energy state before you go out.
Put on some great music and dance around,
wear clothes that make you feel good, make you feel sexy,
have conversations with girlfriends that you enjoy.
Have a blast together before you actually go out
and meet your man, put yourself in that positive state.
Because when you meet him
then you're gonna be radiating that positive state.
And he's gonna be like damn, who is this woman?
And the T in flirt finally, this stands for a team player.
And this one is amazing.
It's be a team player.
Here's what this one means.
This means that the things that he's invested in
or the things that he likes,
just as he should appreciate and find value
and give attention to the things that you're engaged in.
If you do that for him, it will set you apart.
It will grab his attention.
It will blow him away.
For example and I'm speaking from experience on this one,
let's say he has a favorite sports team and it's game day.
And you take a picture of yourself in the jersey
of his favorite team or in a shirt of his favorite team,
or just even wearing the colors that his team has
and say go whatever his team is,
that's gonna blow his mind.
That will blow him away.
Especially if he knows that you're not a die hard sports fan
of that particular sport, or even that team.
He's going to love that.
Just the fact that he knows that you know
that he loves that team and you're on his side
will blow him away.
The same thing applies to business.
He's got a big presentation coming up
that he was working on.
And the morning of the presentation, you send him hey,
I hope you crush that presentation today.
You send him a little text or,
you know he's got an important job going hey,
I hope that job goes really well today.
I'm rooting for you.
Knowing that you are in his corner on his team,
you have his back, you're on his side,
that's one of the best feelings in the world.
That's what men look for in a long term relationship.
And it will definitely grab his attention.
So my question for you is what are the things
that you have found instantly grab a man's attention?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
Here's to your amazing love life.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for watching and I'll see you soon.
(gentle music)