I want to say some things to you
about your daughter.
What I'm concerned about is her self-image.
And self-image is the perception
or mental picture that you have:
your appearance, abilities and personal worth.
And I think when someone
feels like they have to have
all of these things
in order to feel
like they're presentable,
to feel like they're worthy,
to feel like they can be acceptable.
Then they don't have much self-worth.
Well my Mom made me feel that way.
I've said that overindulgence
is a form of child abuse.
It does cripple a child.
You see a child forms their self-image,
their self-worth by making attributions to themselves.
We watch ourselves in situations
and say wow I did that.
I overcame that, I accomplished that.
I did that.
I learned about myself that way
so I have confidence that I can do these things.
She's saying you screwed up.
You parented me that way
but it's not over.
Are you sure? Yes.
I'm sure, I guarantee it's not over.
Reparenting, so many parents have the opportunity
to reparent their child.
So you guys need to redefine your relationship.
How do we do that?
You give her more love
and less money.
(audience applauding)
And.
I feel like it's too late for that.
I don't want love anymore.
Yeah, well, do with it as you will.
But that's what she needs to have.
I think giving this child
5,000 dollars a month,
2,500 dollars a month,
a thousand dollars a month is insane.
A thousand dollars, I'm barely living.
I think that you
as a parent, you're required
to give her a stable environment.
Which she has.
And a roof over her head, feed her,
make sure she has medical care.
Take care of her in those ways.
I think she needs to get a job.
No, I really don't.
I think she needs to get a job
where she works and observes herself
doing the things she's capable of doing.
Minimum wage isn't gonna get me my car.
Not in a hurry.
(audience laughing)
That's why you need an education
so you don't have to work for minimum wage.
By the time I was your age, I had worked
at a A&W root beer stand on roller skates,
I had worked at throwing a paper route
and I'd worked at Pizza Planet,
I'd worked everywhere where you can get a job.
I'm just saying, realize when you indulge her,
you're doing that to make yourself feel better.
And what you need to do is do what is required
for her to be better.
And is she gonna be unhappy about it?
Yes. Yes.
Extremely. This is what
she's gonna do at home.
This is how she's gonna pout and act at home.
Well that's her choice. Correct.
But you need to work out something
where she becomes productive
and makes a contribution to society
instead of taking from society.
I think the best thing would be to start with a job.
No, no.
Yeah, absolutely she needs a job.
No. (crying)
(audience laughing)
I think it would be great if you volunteered some more
at the soup kitchen.
You can do some great volunteer work down there.
I did that,
I started with a baby sitter
I think my first job was at IHOP.
You don't pay me to babysit,
she makes me babysit for free.
She doesn't need a job babysitting
she needs a job in the world.
I agree. No!
She doesn't need a job at home,
she needs a job in the world.
Absolutely not.
(audience applauding)
Sorry.
You need a job.
No I don't want a job.
Well I know.
It's so much work.
(audience laughing)
They come home so tired from work,
I don't want to do that.