Haeppy: Today on twoplustwo
BapMokja: 10 reasons why you should not come to Korea.
BapMokja: I love Korea.
Haeppy: And so do I.
BapMokja: To me, it's the best country in the world.
BapMokja: But!
BapMokja: Not for everyone.
Haeppy: Here are 10 reasons why you should not come to Korea.
BapMokja: Food. Korean food is amazing.
Haeppy: But, if you can't, or you don't, eat meat
BapMokja: or if you have a problem with spicy food.
Haeppy: You should probably think a little bit harder before coming here.
Haeppy: Number 2 is a 2-parter.
Haeppy: First, if you don't like alcohol
Haeppy: Korea is going to be rough for you.
BapMokja: Alcohol is a very important part of the social culture in Korea.
BapMokja: Co-workers go and eat and drink a lot together at big company meals called "Hweshik"s.
Haeppy: And if you hang out with friends copious amounts of soju and beer are going to be consumed.
BapMokja: Don't even get me started about drinking with girls.
Haeppy: or guys.
BapMokja: Secondly, if you can't handle your alcohol either
BapMokja: Don't come.
Haeppy: Because there's so much alcohol involved when socializing
Haeppy: if you have any destructive tendencies
Haeppy: like you get into fights or you break stuff when you're drunk
Haeppy: don't come!
Haeppy: Also, if you can't control the amount you drink
Haeppy: like you over drink every single time you go out
Haeppy: Don't come.
BapMokja: You'll embarrass yourself
BapMokja: You'll embarrass your friends
BapMokja: and you'll reinforce negative stereotypes about foreigners.
Haeppy: It gets hot!
BapMokja: And very very humid.
Haeppy: We're talking about 24/7 "air conditioner on" type of weather.
BapMokja: You walk outside, you may as well have just jumped inside a swimming pool.
Haeppy: It also gets cold!
BapMokja: Wind chill, ice, snow, sleet, you're going to have everything chucked at you.
Haeppy: So, if you can't adapt quickly to these types of extreme temperatures
Haeppy: Don't come.
Haeppy: Because you're going to have a miserable time.
BapMokja: Plus! Summer and winter are the longest seasons here as well.
BapMokja: Spring and autumn are so short they may as well only be 2 weeks.
BapMokja: Seoul is a city of 10 million people.
Haeppy: It's going to be crowded.
BapMokja: So if you kind of get a bit annoyed when someone bumps into you, nudges you, maybe pushes you a little bit from time to time
BapMokja: stay away.
Haeppy: Sometimes you'll literally be sandwiched between 2 sweaty bodies.
Sweaty bodies... sweaty bodies...
BapMokja: If you don't like attention, good or bad, don't buy that ticket.
Haeppy: This is especially true if you're not physically East Asian.
BapMokja: But, if you fit the Korean standard of beauty,
BapMokja: You're going to be showered in attention.
Haeppy: People will tell you that you're good looking.
Haeppy: People will fawn over you.
Haeppy: And sometimes, you'll even be stared at on the streets.
BapMokja: You'll be like a mini-celebrity anywhere you go.
Haeppy: On the flip side, if you don't fit the Korean standard of beauty, you're going to have a rough time.
BapMokja: While there are a lot of very nice and kind people in Korea
Haeppy: there are also some not-so-nice people and they're very vocal.
BapMokja: which leads us to our next point.
BapMokja: If you don't have thick skin, you're going to hate it here.
Haeppy: From time to time, coming from foreigners and Koreans, you're going to hear things that might hurt you.
Haeppy: They're not trying to hurt you, but they will vocally criticize you.
Haeppy: For example, they'll tell you when you've gained weight.
BapMokja: Also, you're probably going to see and hear things that you strongly disagree with
BapMokja: things that may be completely different from what you're used to back home.
Haeppy: If you're really really sensitive or you care a lot about what other people think of you, even if they're strangers,
Haeppy: you probably shouldn't come.
BapMokja: Now, if you're a chronic complainer you better not come here.
Haeppy: You have problems with your home country?
Haeppy: Want to escape it a little bit?
Haeppy: Korea's going to be even worse for you
BapMokja: You'll be going through culture shock
BapMokja: You're going to be experiencing diet changes
BapMokja: But most of all, you'll be an outsider.
Haeppy: You're going to have a lot to complain about if you're that type of person.
BapMokja: So if you are that kind of person, don't come.
BapMokja: Either shut up and adapt, or just don't bother.
Haeppy: These last 3 points are very dear to our hearts
Haeppy: so things are going to get a little bit explicit from here-on out.
BapMokja: If you're expecting some $5 sucky sucky sh*t then stay the f*ck away.
Haeppy: If you think the women here are going to be easy
Haeppy: if you think they're going to worship you and fawn all over you just because you're a foreigner
Haeppy: Stay the f*ck away!
BapMokja: You're going to have a terrible time
BapMokja: when your exotic submissive asian fantasies come crashing down around your sleazy ass.
Haeppy: We often here some foreign guys complaining about Korean women are b*tches.
BapMokja: But she's not a b*tch just because she won't sleep with you the first night.
Get.
The.
F*ck.
Out!
BapMokja: If you have some sort of English Superior Language Complex then Korea is not the place for you.
Haeppy: This bothers me on a personal level.
Haeppy: English is not as important as you think it is.
Haeppy: This is especially true for the average Korean
Haeppy: they don't use it on a day-to-day basis.
Haeppy: Pretty much the only times they'll need to use English is to communicate with people like us or during international business meetings.
BapMokja: In fact, it's probably more beneficial for Chinese to be Korea's second language.
Haeppy: Don't be that *ssh*le that thinks all Koreans should know English
Haeppy: just to help your ass get to the next McDonald's.
Haeppy: You should be the one frustrated with yourself for being too lazy to learn the host country's language.
Haeppy: Last but not least.
BapMokja: If you're a d*ck, stay the f*ck away.
BapMokja: Whether you like it or not, you're an ambassador for all other foreigners that look like you.
BapMokja: If you're white, you're representing all white people from all western countries.
Haeppy: Black, brown, red, yellow, orange, green, blue, purple, it doesn't matter.
Haeppy: If you look like them, you're representing them at that moment.
BapMokja: So please, I beg you
BapMokja: If you're just going to come and cause trouble and ruin it for every else who wants to live here
BapMokja: stay the f*ck away.
Don't come! Just don't come!
Thank you very much for joining us on this episode of twoplustwo.
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