Transcriber: Mandy Vincent Reviewer: Emma Gon
So, by a show of hands,
how many of you would like to live a good long life?
Oh, my goodness! That’s almost everybody.
Now, how many of you would like to get old?
(Laughter)
No hands! Oh, just one.
And not surprising.
Especially in light of the way that aging is portrayed in our society
as feeble, fragile, incompetent and most times lonely.
And who, in their right mind, would want that?
And with all this negativity around aging,
it’s the reason why we lie about our age,
we dye our hair and we get plastic surgery
so we could look nothing like our real age.
It’s also the reason why I very rarely tell my age,
Because when I do, I need to feel badly about it.
And I know I'm not the only one.
And it wasn’t until I got a certain age
that I even knew that ageism existed.
You know, treating somebody negatively
simply based upon their age.
And if we all want to live a good long life,
then we’re going to have to rethink the way we see aging.
And thankfully, the global campaign against aging,
the global campaign against ageism,
comes up with a few recommendations.
The first way is through education,
teaching and learning what it means to grow old gracefully
without unfounded assumptions.
Secondly, they recommend intergenerational conversations
so we could build empathy with the young and the old.
And they also recommend the creation of human rights laws
to protect the elderly from unwanted stereotypes,
prejudices and painful discrimination.
And if we do these things, we’re off to a good start.
If you’re in your 30s, you’re listening to what I have to say and you’re saying,
“That has nothing to do with me”,
I want you to listen very carefully to what I'm about to say.
The US Census Bureau has determined in 2020
that there were 54 million people over the age of 65,
making up about 16% of the population.
And they project in 2050,
there will be 85.7 million people over the age of 65,
making up about 20% of the population.
And if you're fortunate enough to live to year 2060,
nearly one in every four people will be a senior.
That means one in every four.
So if it's one in every four, at least one of those is going to be a child.
And we better hope
that the remaining two are empathetic and dedicated to the care of seniors.
Because at least one in every three of us
is going to have to live in a nursing home.
Now, while I was preparing for this talk,
I stumbled on this page from Social Security
and if you put in your birthday,
it will tell you your average life expectancy on a personal level
and it will also tell you how long you have left to live.
And I know this might sound morbid to some.
But it makes me so much more intentional about how I spend my most valuable time.
And so now it's your turn.
Think about your age
and figure out how many years it takes for you to get to 77,
which is the average life expectancy projected
by the US Department of Health and Human Services.
How many years did you come up with?
(Laughter)
We all know that long life is just not promised,
but it is predictable.
This is a picture of me and my two triplet sisters,
which is another TED talk for another day,
and also my grandmother who lived until she was 87 years old.
And my mother, she lived till she was almost 87 years old.
And that prediction from Social Security put me around in the same time.
So, it is predictable.
But I would like to make a prediction of my own.
I predict I'm going to live until I'm at least 99.
And the reason why I can make such a bold claim is
because what I learned from my mother and grandmother
as they were transitioning this life
and I would like to share that wisdom with you today.
The first thing I learned is that aging is a privilege.
And this is my mom, who I took care of in my home until the day she died.
I was dedicated to making her last year
better than all of the eighty-six that went before.
And if you have someone in your life
who is dedicated to your care at the most precious time of your life,
it’s an absolute privilege.
And I’m not the only one who thinks this way.
In the African culture, seniority is considered a privilege.
In the Greek culture, aging is celebrated and venerated.
In the Indian culture, the elders are the head of the family
and in the Korean culture, aging is considered the highest honor.
And in the Native American culture,
the elders are expected to pass down their wisdom to the younger.
And then the American culture,
it could be any combination of these or not.
But at the end of the day, if you get to live a good long life,
it’s a privilege.
The next thing I learned from my mother and grandmother
is that if you want to live a good long life,
you’re going to have to prepare for it.
And the first thing you want to prepare is your body
through age appropriate diet and exercise.
That means eating colorful foods
and working out in a way that stretches your body and strengthens your core,
so your frame can hold you up for very long time.
Next, you want to strengthen your mind
with intellectual activities such as reading, writing, puzzles, games
and being committed to be a lifelong learner
so your mind can stay sharp even into the long last years of your life.
And you want to prepare your spirit.
So studies show that positive outlooks
are connected to longevity
and that positivity has to extend to the people, places and things
that you engage your life with.
And this way you will live a life of purpose and meaning.
The next thing I learned from my mother and grandmother
that I’d like to share with you today
is that if you want to live a good long life,
you have to plan for a good, long life.
And I’m not just talking about Social Security and long term care,
I’m talking about planning to make the rest of your life
the best years of your life while having the time of your life.
Listen, ask my friends,
I plan my recreation like it’s my full time job.
And that’s because after helping everybody else
have a better quality of life,
it’s now time for me to have a life.
You see, I see life like a movie, played out in three acts.
Act one is the age of pubescent
where were innocently introduced to the world.
Act two is the age of perplexity,
where we struggle to solve the puzzle called life.
And unfortunately, some never do.
And act three is the age of possibility,
where, after years of experience, trial and error,
we finally figure out what really matters in life.
And we see an example of this in the movie “The Bucket List”.
Where two total strangers are delivered a deadly diagnosis from their doctors,
and it jolts them into the reality that although they had lived,
they never really had a life.
So the two set out on a quest to fulfill their wildest dreams.
And that quest can be summed up in two questions.
The first question.
Have you found joy?
And after a devastating divorce that ended a 25 year marriage,
losing everything I held that was near and dear,
including experiencing homelessness and poverty as a result.
I asked myself,
“How in the world could I ever find joy at this point in my life?”
But I did, with the help of God, trusted coaches and friends
and now, I’m happier than I’ve ever been
since the day I was born.
So it is possible.
The second question.
Is have you brought joy to others?
And as a result of overcoming the challenges in my life,
I made it my mission to help as many people as I can
to overcome the challenges in theirs,
regardless of their age.
Because I believe aging shouldn’t be a death sentence.
As a matter of fact, I see it as a life sentence.
And that’s because you are the author, the director, the producer,
and the writer in your own screenplay.
So why not make it an ending that’s to die for?
(Laughter)
And that's the beauty of aging.
You still get to decide all of the beautiful things
you could do with your life.
And there are so many limitless opportunities.
Like Colonel Sanders,
he started Kentucky Fried Chicken after he was 65
on Social Security.
Or Miss Ernestine Shepherd,
who became a bodybuilder after the age of 71
and now, she is in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Or like me,
who started a new life in a new city after 60.
Started voting,
started my own coaching academy
and started entering beauty pageants.
(Applause)
And won a title.
And I’m just getting started.
(Applause)
So now, I see my age
as simply the number of years the world gets to enjoy me.
So what is it that you still want to do with your life?
Because you can create your own crowning moments
because it's never too late to live your dream.
And when you see your life and your age
as more than just a number,
the possibilities are endless.
(Applause)