(rock music)
April's here at long last,
which means that soon the flowers will be in bloom
and the movie theaters will erupt
with summer blockbuster after summer block buster.
But with so many movies coming your way
in the months ahead,
you're gonna need some help deciding what's actually
worth your time and what was a waste of good popcorn.
So in today's episode of the Dan Cave,
we're gonna dive head long into blockbuster season
with a summer movie guide.
And yeah, summer now legally includes the end of April
and all of May, so, deal with it.
Super Troopers 2.
Now let's face it,
you'd probably wind up accidentally drinking
an entire bottle of maple syrup on 420 anyway,
so why not have it at least feel like
a thematic snack for the Super Troopers sequel?
This time, the state trooper shenanigans are escalating
into an international incident as the kooky cops try
to set up a new highway patrol station
on the US Canadian border.
Will it be a staggering combination
of modern foreign policy?
Well, probably not, but I still wanna see it right now.
Or should I say meow-ties?
Avengers Infinity War.
Will Thanos finally get the cosmic mankala beads?
Will this movie just be series of people meeting
each other for the first time before dying horrifically?
Are you low key dreading the fact
that this movie is longer than two and a half hours?
The answer to all of these questions is yes,
of course, but who cares?
I've waited a gosh darn decade to see how this saga ends
so like so many Bucky's and so many Wakandan hospitals,
my body is ready.
Deadpool 2.
Now there's very little I can say about Deadpool 2
that isn't better said by it's official description.
After surviving a near fatal bovine attack,
a disfigured cafeteria chef, Wade Wilson,
struggle to fulfill his dream
of becoming Mayberry's hottest bartender
will also learn to cope with his lost sense of taste.
Searching to regain his spice for life
as well as a flux capacitor,
Wade must battle ninjas, the Yakuza,
and a pack of sexually aggressive canines
as he journeys around the world
to discover the importance of family, friendship,
and flavor.
Finding a new taste for adventure
and earning the coveted coffee mug title
of World's Best Lover.
Wow, I sure hope he gets that mug.
Mostly I'm excited to see how Josh Brolin
became Josh Swollen to play Cable
and by that I mean swole as in jacked,
and not swollen as in he got stung
by a bunch of bees and he's like allergic.
Although Josh Brolin did once tell me
I was pink like a rat,
so I don't really give an ass what he thinks.
You're not pale, you're pink.
Yeah, well, that's cause I'm ...
Like a rat.
Shut up, Josh.
Solo: A Star Wars Story.
For everyone who wondered what exactly happened
when Han Solo made the Kessel run less than 12 parsecs,
where everyone who wondered just how spicy
those minds were in the first place,
or everyone who wanted to know why the way
to make wine glasses futuristic
is just slap a tin can on them.
Solo: A Star Wars Story is for you.
Mostly though, I'm excited to see Donald Glover's
Lando Calrissian.
I mean, that dude should win an Oscar
alone for his mustache.
And yes, that is the hill I plan to die on
because I have the high ground in this conversation.
So Academy, do it.
Won't You Be My Neighbor.
When Fred Rogers passed away on February 27th 2003,
one of the brightest lights on this Earth went out.
For three decades,
Mr. Rogers made children's television series
like Mister Rogers' Neighborhood,
which was a beacon of positivity, optimism,
and hope for kids all over the world.
And now Rogers is the subject of a new documentary
that uses a wealth of archival footage and interviews
that paint an intimate portrait of a man
who dedicated his life to making the world
feel like a better, more inclusive,
and a welcoming place.
And I think we can all agree
that is something the world sorely needs right now.
Hereditary.
Now multiple people have told me
that this is the scariest film they've seen in ages
and as what scientists call a huge coward,
I am dreading the thought of seeing this.
But, as a fan of seeing good movies,
I can't fucking wait.
It's about the Graham family who begins
to unravel at the seams in the wake
of the family matriarch Ellen's death.
In the wake of her demise,
they learn all manner of horrific secrets
about their ancestry and it's up to Ellen's daughter,
Annie, played by the incredible Toni Collette,
to save her family from the supernaturally terrifying
fate they have seemingly inherited.
So remember that the next time you dread
going to family dinner.
It could always be worse.
Ocean's 8.
Now normally I roll my eyes at long delay sequels
and reboots but Ocean's 8 looks genuinely delightful.
I'm a sucker for a good heist movie,
and Ocean's 8 boasts an all star cast
including Sandra Bullock,
Kate Blanchette, Sarah Paulson, Helena Bonham Carter,
and Rihanna as a hacker named 8 ball.
And if you saw Valerian, you already know
that Rihanna was the best part of that movie.
It looks like exactly the right blend
of intrigue and action comedy
to start the summer off on a high note.
Also, before you complain in the comments
about this being an unnecessary sequel, shut up.
Most of you didn't see Logan Lucky
and that was awesome.
And Soderbergh's producing this one as well
so just shut up.
Incredibles 2.
If you're exhausted by the surfit of super hero films
than perhaps Brad Bird's Incredibles 2
is way more up your alley.
This time around the family dynamic
is totally flipped with Helen stepping into the limelight
as Elastigirl to help make superheros popular again
while Bob takes a back seat to the actions
to be a stay at home dad
trying to help his super powered kids lead normal lives.
One kid though, the wee baby Jack Jack,
may prove more difficult that most
because he seemingly has more powers
than everyone else in the family combined.
And if Jack Jack doesn't kill him first,
than Bob and the gang are gonna have their hands full
with the brand new villain who has a plot
to threaten the world as we know it.
That doesn't involve bedazzling a golden glove.
Now imagine that.
You're not pale, you're pink.
Yeah well, that's cause I'm ...
Like a rat.
I don't know.
I walked in to say hello.
And he's just like, oh you're pink.
Like a rat.
Maybe I was like a little sunburned or something.
I have sensitive skin.
And also, I'm a sensitive soul.
You're pink.
Hey Josh Brolin,
you look like a fucking California raisin in this movie.
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom.
Now, is there a good reason that Chris Pratt
and Bryce Dallas Howard
are gonna be back in the world's most misguided theme park?
Probably not.
But is it worth it to see Jeff Goldblum
grace the big screen again as Dr. Ian Malcolm?
You bet your sweet prehistoric butt it is.
Ant Man and The Wasp.
Now people like to give Ant Man a lot of grief,
but the first film was a nice little self contained story
that added a whole new sense of scale
to the typically epic super hero action
that dominates multiplexes.
And now,
we're getting the big screen team up
that I never thought I'd see.
Ant Man and The Wasp.
Headlining their own movie.
Do you understand how preposterous that is?
What a time to be alive.
And hopefully we'll get more Micheal Pena
as Luis on the big screen
to give us even more necessarily convoluted heist tips.
Mostly though,
I just need to see this movie
to see if my theories about the quantum realm
in Avengers 4 are gonna work our after all.
I mean, is that where Captain Marvel's been
this whole time?
Does it explain the time travel's gonna happen
in that movie?
I have to know.
Sorry to Bother You.
In a weird alternative reality version of Oakland,
a telemarketer named Cassius Green
discovers the key to success in business.
Overcoming his self esteem issues
and climbing the corporate ladder at an alarming rate.
What follows though is a bizarre, macabre,
and scathing satire that tells the dystopian story
about the horror show that is
the modern American work place.
Now, I sure hope that secret is ending your show
with over rot movie mash up puns
because boy howdy,
I might just be sitting on a gold mine.
Eighth Grade.
One of the most excruciatingly funny experiences
I've ever had in a theater,
Bo Burnham's Eighth Grade expertly captures
the awkwardness, anxiety, and feeling of soul crushing
importance of every little thing
that happens in middle school.
It's is the uncomfortably touching and genuinely sweet story
of a 13 year old girl named Kayla
who's nursing a crippling social media addiction
and trying to get through the final days of middle school.
It'll make you laugh,
it'll make you cry, and it will give you horrifying
flashbacks to that one time
where you totally puked while giving a presentation
to Mr. Jefferson's seventh period social studies class.
And your crush was there and man ...
Good movie.
Teen Titans Go! To The Movies.
Now Deadpool isn't the only superhero
that can break the fourth wall.
In Teen Titans Go! To The Movies,
the Teen Titans discover that they are
the only DC super heroes who don't have films in the works,
so they set out on a quest to find the perfect director
for their big screen debut.
Unfortunately for them,
they're arch nemesis, Slade Wilson,
AKA Deathstroke, has other ideas for them.
Which, if we're drawing parallels to real life,
is a live action TV show?
I don't know, it doesn't sound that bad to me.
All I know is that I'm on board for some balls to the wall
Hollywood satire starring the goofballs of Teen Titans Go.
And also featuring Nick Cage as Superman.
That's right.
Despite all his rage, he's still just the last on a Krypton.
Finally, only took, like, what, 20 years?
Replicas.
When you kill someone very close to Keanu Reeves
on screen one of two things will happen.
One, he'll go on a murderous killing spree
to take revenge on Theon Greyjoy,
or two, he'll violate the laws of science
in order to resurrect his family
after they're killed in a car accident.
Well, Replicas is definitely scenario number two
as Reeve's plays a distraught biologist,
who finds himself at odds with the government,
the police, and science itself,
when grief drives him to try
and resurrect his dearly beloved.
Even if winds up being terrible,
it's an excuse to see Keanu Keanu as hard
as he possibly can on the big screen.
And that, dear viewers, is why I go to the movies
in the first place.
Mission: Impossible Fallout.
I've got three words for you.
Tom Cruise running.
And three more.
Henry Cavill's mustache.
If you're not intrigued,
I don't know who you are anymore,
get the hell out of this video.
See it.
And those are some of the best movies
that you need to see this summer.
But which of these are you most excited to see?
What would you add to this list?
Let me know in the comments below
and give me a summery thumbs up while you're there.
Now be sure to like and subscribe or you might miss
next week's show about the story of a 1969 car accident
that resulted in the death
of a 28 year old campaign strategist
and caused a renegade police robot to go on a journey
of self discovery as he learns to feel
for the very first time.
In ChappyQuiddick.
Until next time.
Keep on digging.