Why is willpower important?
Research shows that people with stronger willpower are better off in almost every aspect of life:
they’re happier and healthier, have more satisfying and long-lasting relationships,
are more successful, make more money – and even live longer.
In a nutshell, if you want to improve your life, your willpower is a good place to start.
Today we will talk about how our brain-reward system works, how focusing on not doing something
actually makes us do it and how our willpower is like a muscle and the more we train it
the stronger it gets.
First: Understand your brain's reward system.
Why do we often feel bad and guilty after satisfying our immediate desires, like buying
a new sweater we don’t need, or spending a lazy evening in front of the TV?
And why do we do it again and again, despite knowing better?
Because your brain’s reward system is not always your friend – and sometimes it leads
you in the wrong direction.
So what exactly happens in the brain when you crave something?
First you see or smell something you desire – and just that, is enough to activate the
reward system in the brain.
The system releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which activates the areas of the
brain responsible for attention, motivation and action.
These dopamine releases can be triggered by anything we have associated with feeling good:
a 70-percent-off sale sign at a mall, the smell of delicious food, or an attractive
face smiling at you.
And when this dopamine is released, the object that pulled the trigger immediately becomes
very desirable – even if it’s against our long-term interest, like unhealthy food,
internet binges, binge drinking or one night stands.
This is why we engage in activities that seem to be irresistible at first glance, but afterward
leave us feeling guilty and dissatisfied.
Our prehistoric ancestors, however, were not troubled by this reward mechanism.
In fact, being attracted to sweet things was to their advantage, as sweet fruit and berries
were a crucial part of their diet.
Our ancestors were also more free to freely pursue mating partners without modern-day
society constraints.
But even though this impulsive mechanism isn’t as useful in our day and age, it’s still
there, and we have to make sure it doesn’t push us toward unhealthy or unwise choices.
So what can you do?
You can actually make this weakness your strength by combining unpleasant tasks with something
that gets your dopamine firing.
For example, bring your boring paperwork to your favorite café and finish it over a delicious
cup of hot chocolate.
Second: Stop actively resisting or thinking
about your desires.
Here’s a challenge: for the next five minutes don't think about white bears.
Can you do it?
Most people fail in this task.
Even though we never usually think about white bears, if you actively try to not think about
them, it becomes almost impossible to stop.
The same is true for your cravings: though suppression might seem to work at first, it
actually makes them worse.
This was shown by one researcher who believed that thought suppression compels us to do
the very thing we are trying to not think about.
So how can you overcome cravings without pushing them away?
When you’re on a diet, don’t deprive yourself of your favorite foods because it will only
increase your cravings.
Instead of deciding “you won't” eat fast food or cupcakes, devote your energy to the
idea that “you will” eat more healthy food.
A decline in unhealthy food will automatically follow and you'll have a much easier time
sticking to such a positive challenge.
Third: Willpower is like a muscle Did you ever helped a friend move his furniture?
At the end of the day your muscles are so tired you couldn’t carry anything more even
if you wanted to.
For your willpower, it’s just the same: after flexing your willpower muscle too much
you become exhausted and can’t control yourself anymore.
And if you hit the willpower gym, you could improve the strength of your willpower muscle.
So why does overusing your willpower cause you to run out of it?
Because every successful attempt to exert self-control draws from the same limited source.
This means that resisting a temptation will not only weaken your ability to avoid other
temptations, but also prompt procrastination and other willpower failures.
And this willpower exhaustion happens all the time.
This is because many daily tasks you would not think of as willpower challenges – having
to commute, sit through a boring meeting or choose between 20 brands of shampoo – all
draw from our limited daily willpower reserve.
Check my other video called The Paradox of Choice for more info.
And just as it’s possible to train your arm muscle through weight lifting, it’s
possible to train your willpower muscle with willpower challenges.
By performing small but regular willpower challenges you can gradually improve your
self control.
For example, keep a forbidden candy jar in an easily visible location you’re never
allowed to touch – no matter how tempting it looks.
Practicing often with this small temptation will train your willpower muscle, which will
help you cope when it comes to larger willpower challenges.
I hope you got out at least one helpful thing that you can apply in your life from this video.
If you liked it feel free share it with your friends.
Anyway thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.