Well, stay tuned because I'm gonna tell you in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a lawyer but I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert.
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to turn the tables against narcissist and
become the most powerful one
so you can take them down, either in a negotiation,
or in your personal life, or in your business life,
so that you finally become the most powerful person in the room,
whether it is any kind of a negotiation, or just dealing with narcissists in general;
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All right, so you're dealing with narcissists and you catch them in a lie,
because, what do they do?
They lie. That's what narcissists do.
All the narcissists do it.
Whether you're dealing with a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or
the grandiose narcissist, whatever kind of narcissist you're dealing with,
they lie, all of them do, they can't help themselves.
It's just their way of being.
That's what narcissists do, they’re just there,
it’s like their mouths move and lies come out of it.
By the way, if you want to know more about covert passive-aggressive narcissists,
which is the one that I disdain the most,
because I had to deal with two of them in my personal life,
check out my video on the covert passive-aggressive narcissists.
Not fun, not fun at all.
Okay, so you want to know how to deal with narcissists,
you catch them in a lie, you confront them,
when you're going to have to deal with what they do, right?
So, they deny, they deflect, they devalue, they dismiss,
that's what they do.
You've done X, Y, and C.
“You solicited this”, “I did this because of you”
“It’s your fault”, it's like deflecting it on to you,
it's like, because they can't take responsibility for it,
they have a very fragile sense of self,
they have no inner sense of value, they can't take responsibility for it,
they can't take it on as their own,
so they're going to have to devalue you,
they’re gonna have to make it your fault.
So, devaluing is a very big part of a narcissistic relationship.
It's the second phase after the love-bombing phase,
they move into the devaluing phase.
They go back and forth between the different phases, by the way,
it's not like love-bomb, devalue, then discard;
it kind of goes back and forth between the phases.
They'll say “It doesn't matter, let's just move on”,
“I don't want to talk about this right now”,
that's another thing that they'll do,
they'll just kind of deflect, “Let's just forget about it”,
“Let's just sweep it under the rug”,
your feelings won't be acknowledged or valued and
they'll just do this to kind of like,
keep control, to remain in the driver's seat,
that's kind of part of the projection, the deflection,
so, that's the next thing that they’ll do,
or they'll just say you did it, it's your fault,
or it happened because somebody else did it,
somebody else dropped the ball.
I had a paralegal that was like a master at that,
like, it was always somebody else's fault,
or she would just say, there was a funeral.
This girl had more people die in her family than anyone else I'd ever seen.
I don't know how she had like anybody left in her family,
It was like somebody was always dying in her family and
then there's always like the lying and the denying, right?
It wasn't me.
I don't know who it was, but it wasn't me,
I didn't do that, didn't happen.
They'll just deny any of your allegations,
It just wasn't me, I don't know who it was, it wasn't me.
So, they'll just deny and then that's just the end of it, right?
A lot of times once they dismiss, they just start the future fake,
“Let's just forget about it, let's just move on”,
“Life is going to be so much better, you'll see” and
they just move on into let's just talk about the future and
that's kind of part of the sweep it under the rug kind of a thing,
“Let's just forget about it, let's just look at the future”.
So, that's what happens when you start catching them in a lie,
like, let’s move it all around, let’s deny, let's deflect,
it's get it off of me.
That's basically really what it all comes down to.
it ain't here, it's there, don't look here, look somewhere else and
that's what it comes down to, deny, deflect, devalue, dismiss
somewhere else other than where it needs to be.
It's not on the narcissist,
it's going to be somewhere other than the person that you want it to be at,
that's what they do.
They're not going to take responsibility.
Definitely, because all narcissists lie, that's just part of their game and
by the way, that is how you create your leverage and
when you go to create your strategy and create your leverage,
which is all part of my S.L.A.Y methodology,
which is strategy, leverage, anticipating, and focusing on you;
your leverage is definitely going to be partially all in the lies,
because they never figure that somebody
is actually going to go put together all of their lies.
They leave it all in their wake, it's all right there.
You just need to pull it all together, put it in a nice tidy place and
there it will be for them and
it creates a beautiful, beautiful pattern for you to put together as leverage.
If you want to know more about how to do that,
definitely grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
which you can definitely get at winmynegotiation.com.
definitely make sure that you have subscribed to this channel,
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which is really, really important as well,
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you want to make sure you do that and
stick around so that you get lots of support, information, super important.
I am so glad you're here.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I will definitely see you in the next video!