Hi, my loves!
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
So today we're talking about one of my favorite topics to talk about:
how to figure out what to do with your life.
And I'm going to share seven helpful exercises
to help you hone in on your purpose, your path, and your career.
The reason why I love to talk about this is because
this was the biggest struggle of my life.
I was so lost, frustrated, having an existential crisis from college and in my early twenties,
because I couldn't figure out what to do with my life.
I knew I wanted to do big things, but I didn't know what it was.
And it was really annoying to myself and to my parents and the people around me,
when I was just really indecisive and confused and lost.
So if you can relate to any of that,
the first thing I want to say is:
You are going to be okay.
It's okay to feel lost.
It's okay to not have everything figured out.
You're not supposed to have everything figured out.
There are going to be times in your life where you have to discover and explore,
and that's part of the fun.
It's like the mystery of life,
because you don't know what's on the other side.
And I find that that's pretty exciting.
So I'm going to share some worksheets to go along with this video.
You can find that down below,
and I'll also add timestamps to each of the exercises.
So the first step in this whole journey is self reflection.
You have to look within.
The clues are already there.
You just have to go and find them.
The first exercise we'll go over is finding your ikigai.
And ‘ikigai’ is a Japanese term that means ‘your reason for living’.
And I've made a video on this before,
so I'm just going to brush over this today.
Basically this exercise helps you hone in on your career sweet spot
by reflecting on four different areas,
and seeing where the overlap is of those four areas.
So the four things you want to look into are:
1) What you love to do.
So ask yourself: What do I love to do?
What are your hobbies, your passions, interests, curiosities?
The second area is 2) What you are good at.
So, your strengths, your gifts, your talents,
things that people come to you for help with.
The third area is 3) What the world needs.
So what is lacking in the world that you can show up and add value to?
How can you serve others in the world?
How can you bring something to the world?
What can you do to make the world a better place?
The fourth area is 4) What you can be paid for.
So what skills or services can you provide that other people would pay you for?
After reflecting on all four of these areas,
now you want to see where the overlap is.
Is there anything that encompasses all four of these?
Because that middle is your career sweet spot.
And I just want to say that there's not one thing that you're meant to do.
There's an umbrella of things that you could be doing.
What this exercise does is help you hone in on
what to look for in your dream career.
And if you come up with multiple options, it's okay.
This is a good starting point,
because you can start to explore each of those things.
The next step is self discovery.
So now that you have an idea of what you could do in your life,
then it's time to go and explore those things.
You want to take baby steps and test out whatever you can,
because the only way you're going to know if it's right for you is by trying it out.
And you don't have to try it in a big way, like get a job.
You can try it in a small way,
like taking an online class, talking to someone in that industry,
interviewing people who work in that job, or just watching interviews,
reading articles about anything related to that career.
When I graduated and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life,
I really just put myself out there to try anything that I could.
I worked part time doing marketing, social media.
I was doing music, I tried acting and TV hosting,
and then on the side, I was also taking a lot of online classes
in any area that interested me.
So I took classes in songwriting, music production,
human computer interaction – which is like UX/UI, design-thinking type stuff.
I took some coding courses (didn't get very far)
and things like Photoshop courses, a content strategy course –
all of which were free, which is what's amazing about the internet.
You can find so many free or affordable classes,
tutorials, resources, information out there.
I think online classes are just a great way to test the waters
and figure out whether this thing is for you,
just simply by trying it out in a small way.
And a really great place to start looking for online classes is Skillshare,
so I'd like to thank Skillshare for sponsoring today's video.
They're perfect for this topic
and I'm just so happy because I can give you guys a free link
to two months of Skillshare Premium.
So Skillshare is an online learning community
that offers membership with meaning,
with so much to explore, real projects to create,
and the support of fellow creatives,
Skillshare empowers you to accomplish real growth.
Skillshare offers classes designed for real life,
so you can learn and grow with short classes that fit your busy routine.
They have classes in design, business, photography, productivity, and more.
I highly recommend any of the Adobe Training courses by Daniel Scott.
You can learn how to use Photoshop, Illustrator, or InDesign,
which will benefit any creative career.
These classes are so thorough
and you'll learn so many practical tips and tricks on how to use these programs,
that it's just such a good solid foundation to build your career off of.
I personally took the InDesign course,
and that is how I learned how to design the Artist of Life Workbook
that you guys see on the Lavendaire shop.
Skillshare is also incredibly affordable,
especially when compared to pricey in-person classes and workshops.
An annual subscription is less than $10 a month.
So if you want to get started,
the first 500 subscribers to click that link in the description
will get a free two-month trial to Skillshare Premium.
Also, I want to say that knowledge is never wasted.
I took all those online courses in the past
and even though I'm not doing those careers specifically,
those skills that I've learned have transferred over to what I'm doing now.
It's not wasted.
It's kind of recycled in a way,
like my ear for audio is so strong,
because I've done music production.
And I'm good at designing products,
because I understand the process of design thinking.
So as you're coming across ideas on what paths to explore,
I want you to pay attention to your initial reaction.
Does this excite me?
Does this spark my curiosity?
If it sparks those two things, excitement and curiosity,
then that is worth exploring.
Next, let's talk about flow.
Ask yourself: What puts me into flow state?
And that will give you a really good idea
of what you should be doing with your life.
Flow state is a mental state where you lose track of time
and you're so focused on what you're doing,
that you forget about everything else.
You forget to eat, you forget to go to the bathroom,
you forget to sleep, you don't get tired,
you have this mysterious extra energy to do this thing.
For me, I get into flow state when I'm creating something,
like when I'm writing or when I'm editing a video,
I could be editing and then I'll look up and the time is like four hours later,
and I haven't eaten and I haven't thought about anything else but what I was doing,
I was so focused and so in the zone.
For my boyfriend, for example,
Wilson gets into flow state when competition is involved.
If competition is involved, whether you're playing sports, video games or whatever,
he's just so focused on winning that he can't think about anything else.
And for me, I really don't care about competing.
I don't get very riled up for competition,
but he has a mysterious endless energy
to keep going and going and going and competing until he wins.
And it's really annoying but some people are like that.
Anyway, whatever puts you into flow
is a huge clue to what you should be doing with your life.
And I'm sure you guys have some ideas already,
so comment down below on some things that you do that puts you into flow state,
because I'm curious to see how similar or different we all are.
All right, next exercise: The sh*t sandwich.
So the sh*t sandwich is a term that Elizabeth Gilbert uses in her book, Big Magic.
And it basically means the annoying,
unpleasant part of the job – because every job has one.
So you want to ask yourself:
What sh*t sandwich am I willing to deal with?
For example, if you want to be a doctor,
the sh*t sandwich that comes with it is a lot of schooling and a lot of training.
Plus you have to be comfortable with seeing blood
and different parts of the body, things like that.
That is a sh*t sandwich I cannot handle.
I'm not that person, so I just never was going to do that.
But to someone else that might be a sh*t sandwich
that someone is totally willing to deal with,
because they think that it's worth it.
My career now as a content creator and entrepreneur also has its sh*t sandwiches.
I mean if you want to make it as a YouTuber,
you have to be willing to grind and hustle,
work really hard, putting out videos with no reward,
no money in the beginning, and no sure success.
So I was putting out videos every week for two years,
before any money even started trickling in.
And even if you do find success,
the sh*t sandwich that comes with being a public persona,
just putting yourself out there, is that you get criticism,
you get hate, people judge you,
and you have to be able to take what people throw at you.
People are throwing their insecurities, anger, everything on you,
and you have to just be that person to take it.
That might not be worth it for some people out there,
but for me personally, it's the sh*t sandwich that I accept,
because I think that the freedom of this career
makes all of that other stuff worth it.
And I'm more than happy and grateful to be in this position.
So what sh*t sandwich are you willing to deal with?
Moving on, I want to share a couple of dream life exercises
that can help you figure out what you want.
One is a classic Lavendaire exercise.
The other one is one that I've never talked about before.
So the classic exercise is the Vivid Vision exercise.
So what you want to do is:
Lean into the future three years from now
and envision what your dream, ideal life looks like,
in as much detail and specifics as possible.
I want you to include the colors, the feelings, the tastes,
all the details of what you own in your home,
the details of your relationships.
Just try to be as specific and detailed as possible,
and just do the best that you can.
I find that it's so fun to dream and look into this ideal future,
because sometimes we don't take the time to think about it.
And when you really do take time to think about it,
you'll realize, “Oh, these are things I want.
I can actually start bringing them into my life now.”
So it's a really empowering exercise.
The next exercise is called dream lining,
and this is an exercise I learned from Tim Ferriss.
So dream lining is putting your dream life into monetary value,
kind of like calculating how much you want to make in your dream life,
how much everything costs in your dream life.
The magic of this exercise is,
we don't usually think about what it actually costs
to have that dream car or that dream house,
be able to take these dream vacations.
We're not calculating,
and we have this random number in our mind
for how much money we want to make.
And sometimes those two things don't add up.
Sometimes you think, “Oh, I want to have this job as an accountant in a big company.
And then I also want to have this mansion
and this car, and be able to fly first class everywhere.”
Sometimes it doesn't add up, guys.
So this is an exercise where you bust out the Excel or Google Sheets.
You list out all the things that you would want to have, to own in your dream life,
whether it's a car, a house, certain luxury brands, or whatever you want.
And then calculate, “Okay, how much is this going to cost?
How much is my monthly expenses for food,
for clothes, for travel every month in this dream life?”
And try to see what that number looks like,
and see if it aligns to how much money you actually want to make.
Back when I did this exercise, I put my dream car, my dream equipment on this list,
and actually prompted me to look up,
“Okay, how much does a Tesla actually cost?
How much is the down payment?
How much are monthly payments?”
And it helped me realize like, “Oh, I think I can afford this in a couple years.”
And it made it real.
It made that dream vision real, if you know what I mean,
because I was like, “Okay, now I can see the numbers,
and now I can see how I can make it happen.”
So when you're doing this, it could go both ways.
You could either find out that what you want in your dream life
is too extravagant for your actual realistic income through your career.
And so you'll have to adjust some things there,
whether you want to downgrade those things that you want
or upgrade your career and income.
Or you might find that
all the things that you really want are actually not that expensive,
and you don't have to be making millions and millions of dollars
to afford that dream lifestyle,
which is great because it means that
you don't have to aim for something so unnecessary,
because what you want is this,
and then you know what to do in order to get there and make that happen.
By the way, if you guys like exercises like this,
I have so much more where that came from.
I actually have this online course
that is a six-week program called Create Your Dream Life.
So if you want more in-depth worksheets, exercises, and videos
around how to create and execute this dream life that you want,
then check that down below.
I'll link it there and in the card over there.
The next topic that I am excited to touch on is: astrology and your purpose.
There is something in your astrological birth chart,
which is the picture of the sky at the moment that you were born,
of all the planets and stuff.
So there is a part of the birth chart called the north node
and it is the north node of the moon.
And what that point represents is your purpose.
You have a north node and a south node.
The north node represents your purpose, where you are going.
Your south node represents where you've been, your karmic past, things like that.
So if you guys are into astrology,
this could be really fun to look into because it gives you a clue
to what purpose you were born on earth to pursue.
And I actually did a whole podcast on this with astrologer, Dara Dubinet.
I'll link that below.
But I'll give you the cheat sheets on finding your purpose through your north node.
1) You want to get your birth chart.
That is super easy.
I'll link down below where you can get that done.
All you have to do is enter your birth date and birth time and birth location.
The next step is to 2) look for this north node sign on your chart.
After that, make note of 3) the sign that your north node is in
and 4) the house that your north node is in.
And then we use our trusty friend google.com
to 5) look up your north node meanings.
So you have to do two searches.
The first search is “north node in ___”,
and then you fill it in with the sign that your north node is in.
The second search is “north node in the ___ house”,
so whatever number house your north node is in.
Obviously, a professional astrologer is supposed to put those two together,
but you can read those two separately, put them together yourself,
and that will give you a good starting point
on figuring out your purpose through astrology.
If you guys are curious, my north node is in Aquarius in the ninth house.
In a nutshell, having your north node in Aquarius means
you're here to be progressive, innovative,
to break old barriers, to do something group-related, collaboration-related,
rather than you being the star,
because when you're a north node as an Aquarius, your south node is in Leo.
So I used to be a star.
I'm not a star anymore.
Now my purpose is to uplift the people around me.
It's all about community, lifting, supporting other people up.
And then having it in the ninth house means that
my purpose is served in the area of higher learning, education, values,
spirituality, philosophy, things like that.
I hope these exercises were helpful,
and I hope that it helps you hone in on what you're meant to do in life.
Again, don't forget to download the worksheets that go along with this video.
Know that when you find that thing, you will feel it.
You will feel that it's right.
You will feel aligned.
So don't settle until you feel it in your body 100%, like “this is right for me”.
If you don't feel it yet, that's okay.
Just keep exploring, keep learning,
keep talking to people, and just keep experiencing life,
because being lost is a part of life.
It's actually good to be lost sometimes.
You know, even me, I feel like I found my way,
and then I'll feel lost again.
And then I'll re-find my way and rediscover myself.
And life is always giving you surprises and that's the fun of it.
So don't feel frustrated.
It's okay.
Don't feel like you have to rush to figure it all out because it's not a race.
Everybody's life moves at a different pace.
You really can't compare yourself to your peers and the people around you.
You are your own.
You are unique.
You have your own light, your own path,
and your own unique purpose for existing in this world.
So I'm wishing you all the best.
I truly hope you find it.
I’m sending you so much love.
See you next time.
Bye!