Amy: Hi I'm Amy Holly: And I'm Holly
Amy: And today we are talking about bisexuality
Amy: It's not always easy to be bisexual, you get a lot of hassle from the straight
community but also the LGBTQ+ community. A lot of people say it's 'just a phase'
Holly: I don't know why it's the one sexuality that seems to be considered kind of temporary.
They seem to expect that at one point you're going to settle into one or the other and
whatever relationship you happen to be in at the time, they take as your true sexuality.
They will say things like oh but you know, could you actually imagine being with a woman
forever? Well, yeah that's literally what it means
Amy: That's kind of what bisexuality is Holly: I often compare it to kind of tea and
coffee. Sometimes I'm having a tea phase, sometimes I'm having a coffee phase, sometimes
you get up and you just really want a cup of Earl Grey. It doesn't mean that's all I'm
going to drink forever or all I'm allowed to drink forever. And then you get the whole
'oh when did you decide on that?' whereas it's more like you've always known how you
feel but you didn't know there was a name for it. There's a lot of discussion of it
kind of in the media, where it's kind of presented as something that women do for men's attention.
The Katy Perry thing, with kind of you know I kissed a girl but my boyfriend's okay with
it kind of thing presents it as if it's just a bit of fun and not actually a serious sexuality.
Men will come up to you and your girlfriend and say just horrendous things that I could
not repeat, and asking you if they could watch and stuff which is really creepy. You'd never
say that to a heterosexual couple Amy: It's turning a bisexual woman into a
sex object Holly: They kind of treat it as something
that you do for men, as opposed to something that you do in private with your girlfriend
that has nothing to do with anyone else. Whereas for men it seems to be this strange thing
where if you're a man who says they're bisexual, you get people saying oh you're actually gay
you just don't want to admit it Amy: Exactly
Holly: If you say you're bisexual people kind of don't consider it a sexuality in itself
often, they think it's kind of made up or it doesn't really exist or you're just being
greedy which doesn't even make sense Amy: I don't understand that at all - I'm
bisexual, I don't want to have lots of sexual partners
Holly: I still date one person at a time. I have found as well that with the relationships
that I've had that both men and women find it quite hard to accept. You know I had a
boyfriend that said 'well, for most people half of the world could take you away, but
for you it's anyone' Amy: Your bisexuality does not make you more
or less predisposed to cheat on someone Holly: Not at all. I've definitely found women
that I've dated kind of were a bit funny about the fact that I was bisexual, and kind of
wondered whether I was gonna run off with a man
Amy: If you're not sure and you're just kind of testing things out and seeing where you
are that's fine as well Holly: That's fine, that's good. I mean you
need to do that. And also I don't think there's really any rush to put yourself in any particular
box, but I do think it's quite important to be honest about that, because you know if
you're going out with somebody who is gay or is bisexual or is straight and is very very
secure in that and you're not quite sure, and you know you're maybe dating someone of
the same gender for the first time, it's quite important I think to just be up front and
say I've never done this before, or you know can you kind of guide me a bit with this,
and that's fair enough Amy: It's a difficult conversation to have,
but it's really important to do and I think a good partner will hopefully understand.
I think as well it can be really difficult if you feel like you're having these bisexual
feelings but you feel like nobody else is because no one is talking about it
Holly: Yeah, and it's so untrue. It's always a good idea I think if you need to talk about
it to kind of confide in your friends and say I feel like this, and it's more than likely
that they'll be the same way or they'll know someone who's the same way
Amy: Your sexuality is an important thing to you. It's okay if you are bisexual to kind
of come out as bisexual Holly: It's worth knowing as well that when
you are bisexual, you do end up coming out quite frequently throughout your life because
you meet new people. For example I mentioned once a girl that I used to date and kind of
people went oh we thought you only dated men. So does that mean you're half gay and half
straight? And you're like let me tell you about that... But at the same time that's
quite a good thing, because it does help people to hear it and to know somebody that feels
like that, and the next time they encounter somebody bisexual they might not make that
comment and they might not say something a bit silly that's going to annoy somebody so
it can help I think to educate people if they don't know rather than getting annoyed
Amy: And don't forget if you are confused or if you have any questions about sexuality
there is loads of information on the ChildLine website, links in the description. Holly,
thank you so much for coming in and talking to us about bisexuality. I hope you found
that useful, but now we want to hear from you. How do you think we can help dispel the myths
around bisexuality? Let us know in the comments. And we'll see you next time.
Both: Bye!