Many people read books on how to win friends, and be more social.
But not today, not us.
Maybe you want to learn how to lose your friends, and be an annoying toxic asshole, so people
will avoid you for the rest of your life, that way you won’t have anyone to share
your happiness or sadness, and you can be all by yourself on your deathbed, remembered
and cared by no one.
And that is a pretty… awful place to be in.
But since the train to lonely land departed, our journey has started.
And the first step to becoming a toxic person is to always Boast about yourself.
If someone tells you they work out, you tell them right away that you lift more than they
do, and that you’re going 6 days instead of their measly 4.
Always, and i mean always state how inferior and mortal they are compared to you and your
godlike capabilities.
See, if you ask them what kind of workout they do, or what is their diet, you might
appear human… and that is a terrible thing!
They might actually like the conversation and invite you to work out together.
But this is no time for making friends, it’s time to show them that you’re faster, stronger
and if you want to make them despise you instantly, just tell them how superior your IQ is.
Works 100% of the time, every time.
Become the worst listener.
If that didn’t cut it (and i really doubt any sane person would like to be friends with
you after making them feel bad everytime they see you) well then you can kick it up a notch.
Simply become the worst listener there is.
I mean why should you care what the other person have to say, what matters is what YOU
have to say.
While they are talking, either look to the side uninterested, yawn, or better yet think
about the next cool and interesting story that you’re going to tell, make everything
revolve around you, that’ll teach them to never again call or invite you anywhere.
And if all else fails, there is a foolproof three step formula.
Dale Carnegie said: Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually
makes them strive to justify themselves.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense
of importance, and arouses resentment.
And for us, it is the perfect recipe to make you hated and despised.
Criticize whenever you can, as much as you can, if someone makes a mistake be sure to
publicly make everyone know about it, you can also exaggerate a little bit, you know
so we can be sure that the person really hates your guts.
Condemn people for their behaviour without first asking why, and also religiously complain
about absolutely everything.
The goal is to make people associate you with negative emotions like anger, frustration,
envy, pride, arrogance and so on.
Try to check as many of these as possible.
Jealousy is your friend.
Not like a real friend, you know..
We’re trying to get rid of them but whatever, Jealousy is your friend.
If your buddys business is doing great, be jealous of him and always mention the worst
case scenarios that his company might fail, someone might rob him, his product isn’t
the good and you wouldn’t use it personally.
Remember there is no Win-win situation, if someone else is winning then apparently you’re
losing!
If your friend finds a cute girl, start to mention all of his flaws in front of her,
if You don’t have a cute girl to talk to, neither will he!
What?
What is that?
Your buddy’s girl might have cute friends you could talk to?
Naah, it’s better this way, he’s not your friend, jealousy is your friend.
And lastly, just lie to people.
This is by far the easiest way to lose people's trust and also their company.
Build your life upon lies, make it a habit, and then do it subconsciously.
The funny thing is that you can amplify the effect of the previous steps if just start
to lie.
Lie when you boasting about yourself, lie when you’re telling stories, and lie when
your criticizing someone in front of others, bonus points if you lie to your close friends
or your significant other.
I mean it’s so easy to lie, it couldn’t possibly be a bad thing..
Those are few of the steps that you can easily follow to make you one hated, friendless
and unhappy person.
But in all seriousness, if you want to live a happier life, create long lasting relationships
and make people truly like you, just try to do the opposite of everything that was mentioned
in the video.
Because I think the world has its fair share of envious people, friends who criticize and
condemn, toxic individuals and people who lie.
Don't be a part of that list..
and until next time,
Goodbye.