- I am a floor mat at this point.
- Like just constantly stepping on me and hurting me
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- Yeah.
- Hello, my beautiful people.
My name is Victor Kunda
- And I am Madame Joyce.
And this is "Down in the DMs".
- We are here to of your relationship problems,
to just be here for you as a general safe space.
However, warn them.
- Guys, guys, guys, we are not professionals.
We are not doctors. We are not scientists.
I don't even have a degree. - So you're a scientist.
- But, it can be science.
- Ah, sure.
- Whatever it is guys, we are not it.
We are just here to have a good time.
So if you feel like you need specialist help
please see a professional
and they will help you in a better way that we can't.
But if you wanna laugh, stick around
because we are gonna give you some chaotic advice
with some amazing dilemmas that you guys have sent in.
- Yes. - Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
- "Am I naturally nice or just manipulative?
So this might be weird.
I'm a 29 year old woman
and I've been seeing this guy
for a couple of weeks and I really like him.
But there's one thing. I am an overthinker.
He keeps saying I am too nice or too kind.
Today, I read something about people
acting overly nice when dating
to manipulate people into staying with them.
So now, I'm thinking
if I'm unconsciously doing these things
because I really do like him and I wanna show him
that I'm grateful and appreciative of him
but at the same time, I am a bit scared.
Could I be doing something wrong?
- Listen. - I'm listening.
- Don't let any stupid, stupid person come
and make you feel a kind of way for being kind to them.
- You can imagine.
- What kind of rubbish is that?
You're being good to me
but you're being a bit too good to me?
- It's so weird.
Honestly, people find it so weird
when people are genuinely nice.
They think there's some sort of underlying like they're,
- So now the question isn't, why are you too nice?
The question is who the (beep) hurt me,
for me to not now be able to trust anyone
that's being nice to me. - Exactly.
It's crazy. That's given really insecure.
I've had those times where someone's like,
someone's a bit too perfect or a bit too nice.
And I'm like, I bet you was crazy.
because you just too nice. - Fair enough.
- But generally they're just really, really nice people.
That's why apparently, nice people never win.
But in this case I feel like
she should just be herself.
- If you think I'm too nice,
then I just won't be nice to you anymore.
And then let's see what you're saying then.
- Imagine like you just met someone
that you really really like,
and they're romancing you, loving you.
And you're just thinking it's too early for all of this.
What is wrong with you?
- But then yeah, that's what you say then,
you say okay, yeah, I'm not gonna lie.
Like it's too early for this.
Or, you know I appreciate what you're doing
but it's enough like, - Cool down.
- Guy, like chill just a little bit, please.
- What voice was that? - I don't know.
We're just a bit damaged.
We're just so used to,
I'm used to people just always hurting me.
- I am a floor mat at this point.
- Like just constantly stepping on me and hurting me and,
- Do you wanna talk about it? - Yeah.
I'm tired. I am. - I know.
- I just wanna be loved in the way
that I love others, you know.
I just wanna cook and clean for somebody
that buys me bags.
- Just as long as you know,
you're not getting that from me.
- (laughing) Oh God, stop.
(Victor laughing)
- The people that are being too nice
aren't the manipulators.
They're the ones being manipulated
hence this situation here. - Exactly, exactly, exactly.
- And then, he wants you to stop
being a nice person in general
so that only basically being nice to him
'cause you'll be overthinking being nice to anyone else
other than the person that you're with.
- So girl, be yourself. Love how you wanna love.
If you like making breakfast in bed,
if you like being affectionate,
if you like being warm and cuddly and fuzzy and loving,
then you do that.
- But I'd say one like once a month
just wake up and bang him in the face.
And then just, - Just a balance.
Just for balance. - Just just morning, babe.
- Speak to the professionals, you know.
But with that being said, are you ready for number two?
- "So my boyfriend and I
send each other nudes like many couples.
A week ago whilst fixing his phone
I noticed a text message that he sent out
to an unsaved number with one of my nudes.
I was shocked because I thought
he was just sending out my nude to his friends
to make comments on my body.
But when I went to confront it, it was way worse.
He admitted he had been selling nudes without my consent.
I told him to stop selling immediately,
but he doesn't see a problem."
First of all, report him to the police
'cause he can get done for revenge porn
and then go to your local Shell or BP.
See if you can pick up some petrol.
You may not have a car.
And then when you go into pay for the petrol, get a lighter
because, you need to be set light for this.
- Ever blazing. Ever blazing like Sean Paul.
- The thing is here, I'm not gonna say cool.
You're selling my nudes.
But cool you're selling my nudes. Where's my percent?
- This is why I don't hang my breast for anybody on photos.
This is why I don't hang my breast for nobody.
That's how they'll be selling my boobies on the internet.
- I really wish I had the same morals,
'cause girl, I'd be like, here you go.
(both laughing)
- I'm not gonna lie, if someone wants to sell my nudes,
it better be a good price.
- And it better be a pic as well.
- It better be a good pic. It better be a good price.
Imagine if he's selling it for like a 10 note.
First of all, is that how much
my breast is worth to you?
- I'd be mad, but then I'd be like, so like, how much?
- Right? I wanna know that.
How much did you sell the nude for?
'Cause if he's like, I'm not gonna lie, I sold it for 3K.
I'd be like, (grunting), you know what I mean?
- You gotta get your equity girl.
- Yeah, I like it. I like it.
But on a real, my friend, you can go to jail.
You can really go.
They can lock you up for this kind of stuff.
And it's so, so detrimental
to the trust of the relationship
when you do things like that to your partner.
Why did you not hang your dick and send your own dick?
- That's if it even hangs.
- Well, (laughing). You perched up baby.
You perched. You perched.
You not dangling. - Ain't no flapping.
- There ain't no flap.
- To like think this is okay.
Just shows that there are some circuits in there
that are not linked properly.
Your other half? - The love of your life.
- The apple of your eye.
- The beans to your toast.
- The chicken to your bank in Greg's.
- The tomato to your Jollof rice.
- The water to your plant.
- The Victor to your dress.
(both laughing)
I would 100% leave that guy alone.
- Oh, for sure. - Leave him in the dust bin.
Ladies, mind them.
Don't be hanging your boobies for anybody.
- I wish I could move mine but I can't.
- See. See.
I saw that. Did y'all see that?
- But yeah, guys that was the final episode.
We have had so much fun.
Have you had fun? - I've had so much fun.
This has been the most crazy, crazy dilemmas
I think I've ever, ever heard in my life.
And I'm so happy to be showing it
with Mr. Victor and with you guys.
Of course, guys if you want
to send in your dilemmas, it's not over, okay.
- Let's give them season two.
- Guys, if you want season two comment below.
♪ Season two plus ♪
♪ Even if you have dilemmas ♪
♪ That you want to put in ♪
♪ Remember the email, ♪
♪ downinthedms@buzzfeed.com ♪
♪ downinthedms@buzzfeed.com. ♪
♪ Remember we are not specialists ♪
♪ Our relationships are failing as well as yours ♪
♪ Thank you ♪
♪ Thank you so much ♪
- Purr.
(Joyce laughing) - Purr.
(upbeat music)