- I want to ask you if you're watching a show
that I have been obsessed with. It's called "Child Genius."
Have you watched this, on Lifetime?
Anybody, yes? [cheers and applause]
Oh... And if you haven't,
find a way to start watching from the beginning.
It's a competition, and it's about--get this--
child geniuses. [laughter]
Kids--they're amazing, and watching them
makes me feel both dumb and stupid at the same time.
[laughter] They all have IQs above 150.
I don't even know what an IQ stands for, I don't--
[laughter]
I know "DQ" is Dairy Queen, I know that.
[laughter]
I don't know, they're like 12 years old, most of them.
That's the average age.
One of them is already taking college classes.
I'm 57, I still haven't started taking college classes.
They are smart in every area. They have--
They quiz them--every week is something different.
Math, geography, memorization.
One episode, they shuffled a deck of cards,
and the kids have to memorize the order
of every single card in the deck.
And they do it. They remember 52 cards.
Unbelievable--if I walk from the living room to the kitchen
for a pair of scissors, I forget what I was doing in there.
I've been telling everyone on my staff to watch this show,
and Andy, have you seen it yet? Have you watched?
- Uh, no, I've recorded it. I have not watched it.
- All right, well, that's the important thing.
I told you four weeks ago to watch and you've recorded it,
[laughter] so that's good.
All right, uh...
Here's--here's-- Come here, Andy.
I'm gonna punish you, come here.
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
We're going to have a little competition, and we're gonna--
[audience exclaims "oh!"]
We're gonna play a game...
Look, there's two podiums.
Who do you think you're going to play against?
- Some sort of child genius. - Yep, you are gonna play
against one of the child geniuses on the show.
Ryan! Come on out here, Ryan.
[lively pop music plays] [cheers and applause]
- Hi, Ryan. - Hi.
- How are you?
- Ryan, hi. - Hi.
- Hi, I'm a big fan.
I know who you are, 'cause I watch the show.
You're how old? - I'm 12 years old...
- You're 12. - and I'm in 7th grade.
- You're in 7th grade, and what is your IQ?
- Um, well.
My parents, they told my brother and I
that one of our IQs is 153, and the other is 156,
but they won't exactly tell us whose is whose,
because otherwise, we'll fight over who's smarter, so...
- Right. And what are the--
Obviously, there's a lot of benefits,
but other than the obvious,
what is the benefit of being really, really smart?
- Oh, well, one thing that I really like
is that I can prove my parents wrong.
[laughter]
- They must love that. [laughter]
both: Yeah.
- What is your IQ, Andy? - [laughs]
- I have not had it tested. - No?
- No. - All right.
I just want to show everybody.
This is one of-- this is a math equation
that Ryan was doing on the show.
- Ryan, what is 39,553 + 2,302?
- 41,855.
- Correct. 39 x 7?
- 273. - Correct.
203 divided by 7.
- 29. - Correct, pen down.
Calculate 14 x 2 - 11,
and finally, multiply by 2.
- 34. - Correct.
[cheers and applause]
- Impressive.
[cheers and applause]
All right. Here's--Ryan, watch this.
This is a clip of Andy trying to walk.
[laughter]
announcer: Here she is now,
Ellen DeGeneres!
[laughter]
- All right, so...
- Not nice. - Here we go.
- All right, let's go. - [laughs]
All right, you've got a pad and pen,
you might not need that.
Okay, ready? - Yeah.
- Buzz in when you know the answer.
What's 7 x 7?
- 49. - That is right!
- Wow. [cheers and applause]
All right. This Friday is Friday the 13th.
How do you spell...
(sounding it out) Tricks..a..phobia?
(saying it wrong) Tricksadeckaphobia?
- That is right! - That's right.
[cheers and applause] That's right.
Good job!
You had that.
All right, here we go. Math equation.
- Okay. - Ready?
- Yep.
- 412.
["wrong" buzzer noise]
[laughter]
- Yes.
- 316 - Yes.
[cheers and applause]
- He didn't even do anything! - Right.
- He just said that, that's right.
All right. Good guess, though, Andy.
- Okay. - All right,
if 3 to the power of x times 9 equals 81,
what is the value of x?
- 2. - That's right.
[applause] - Yep.
[applause]
- Andy, I'm going to ask you something that's more
in your world-- You're a big fan
of the Los Angeles Kings, right?
- I am. - All right, what is
the Chinese word for "king?"
[laughter]
- Wáng?
- Wa--Wáng?
He should know, wáng.
[laughter] ["correct" bell dings]
[applause]
How do you spell that, Andy? - I don't know, but...
I got the first one. - Okay.
[laughter]
- Everyone knows that pi is the ratio
of a circle's circumference to its diameter,
but what are the first 10 digits of pi?
3.141592653589793--
- Okay, yeah, got it.
[laughter]
[applause]
- The score is 5 to 1. - Yes.
I have 17 Emmys. - Andy?
- Yeah, go ahead. - I really want you to have
a point here, okay?
Don't ring in.
Name 10 types of pie.
- Apple, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry, rhubarb,
pineapple, mincemeat...
- Pineapple pie? - Uh...
- Plum, key lime and banana cream and raspberry.
- All right. [cheers and applause]
[cheers and applause]
- Two. - Pineapple?
- Two--uh, yes. - I have never had
a pineapple pie in my life. - Nor have I.
Nor have I.
Here we go: if a woodchuck could chuck
60 pounds of wood in 1.5 days,
how many pounds of wood would a woodchuck chuck in 6 days?
- [stammers]
[laughter]
600.
["wrong" buzzer]
- 240. - That's right.
- Okay. [applause]
Fair enough. - All right.
- All right. - Name--
Name three Kardashians and Jenners don't count.
Kim, Khloe, and Kendall.
- (laughing) That's right.
Ah... - Oh, oh...
- Do you know who the Kardashians are?
- Yeah. - Okay.
The sum of three consecutive prime numbers is 173.
What is the largest of these numbers?
[buzzes in]
- 61? - That is right.
- I don't know what that means. - I don't either.
- [laughs]
- All right. - Good for you.
The score is 7 to 3 and I don't even know
how you got 3 on there, but anyway...
You were the winner, Congratulations, Ryan.
For winning, you're getting a 55" TCR Roku TV,
and a $1,000-- [loud cheers and applause]
and a $1,000 Game Stop game card.
- What do I get?
- You get nothing! - What do I get?
"Child Geniuses," Tuesday nights at 10:00 on Lifetime.
And now, we all dance. Give that back to him!