Heya playa, there are plenty of ways to have a successful conversation with a girl but
sometimes they say something that gets under your skin and rubs you the wrong way.
So what do you do?
How do you navigate those situations?
What is it that a girl can say that can totally turn you off
and make you just want nothing to do with her?
Well, I'm gonna share four things right now.
When you're talking to a girl, especially one that you like and she says one of these four
phrases and it just annoys you to no end you might still feel the need to hold your tongue,
to watch what you want to say, to just be quiet,
but you might actually benefit more from speaking out and sharing your thoughts.
The first annoying thing that a girl might say to you is that you're like a brother to her,
you're the perfect guy but for someone else.
Hearing that from a girl that you like is like a knife right in the back.
You don't want to be just friends, you don't want to be her brother,
you don't want to be the right guy for someone else,
you want to be with her so when she says that it could just totally crush your confidence.
And while it is annoying to hear that it's best to be upfront with her.
Let her know what your intentions are, and what you want out of your relationship.
If you don't want to be just friends, be clear about that with her because
you're going to save yourself a headache far down the line.
Hoping that maybe she's going to change her mind when in reality she's probably not.
The second annoying thing a girl can say to you that might come off as innocent at first
only until you dive deep and realize her true intentions is "ah can you do this for me?".
What's wrong with that?
She's just asking for help.
Seemingly.
She's asking for help but you have to really pay attention to where she uses that phrase.
If she says it for small things that she can do on her own but she just
doesn't want to and she feels like it's easier to get you to do them for her that
can be kind of annoying after a while if she keeps doing it over and over.
"I have so many books to carry, can you just carry it for me?"
"I dropped my pencil again, can you pick it up for me?"
"I left my backpack in the lunchroom, can you go get it for me?"
As to why this would annoy a guy to hear from a girl over and over is pretty simple.
He feels like you're taking advantage of him.
Look, there are a lot of guys who are willing to help other people, myself included.
I'll go above and beyond if I see that someone truly needs to help
but if I feel like you're just using me to do things that you don't want
to do and you're totally capable of man that's really annoying.
Something that's important to remember is that it's okay to say no to anyone.
Especially if you don't feel comfortable doing the thing they're asking you to do.
The third annoying thing that a girl might say to a guy that might totally get under his skin
is something you've probably heard before, "be a man", "grow up", "don't be a wuss".
The core belief behind those phrases is part of the toxic
element within masculine culture that we see and women are not immune to that.
There are plenty of girls and women that actually play into
those stereotypes and hold men to them as well.
And the major problem there is that masculinity actually takes form in many different ways.
But if you only have a very rigid understanding of what it looks like and you're held to
the standard where you always have to take action, you always have to jump into danger,
you always have to put yourself out there no matter what, and not be scared,
yeah, you're going to exclude a lot of guys and you're really going to make a
lot of guys feel like they're not living up to some magical standard that you've created.
And look there's nothing wrong with a girl wanting to be with a traditionally masculine
man based on what her society dictates that to be but the moment you start to question others
and tell them that you're not being a man if you don't do what I say or if you don't live
up to the standard and like sports and take action and do all these dangerous things.
Maybe the guy is more introverted and quiet, maybe he likes video games or
action figure collecting, but that doesn't make him less of a man, and the more you
use those phrases the more you play into these stereotypes that actually hurt men.
So if you're a guy who hears a comment like that
from a girl and you feel just totally shrunken because of it
remember you're not any less of a man for being who you are and liking the things that you do.
She doesn't get to determine that,
it's your decision and how you display your masculinity however you want to.
And the fourth thing that a girl can say to a guy that will totally annoy him is
"oh my god I look so ugly".
Now when a girl says something like this
most of the time she's just expressing how she feels in that raw and real moment.
But sometimes it can actually be her fishing for compliments from you.
Fishing for you to give her the attention that she wants and that can be annoying.
When you hear something like that your natural inclination is to counter it,
to say something like "oh my god you're not ugly. You're so beautiful,
what are you talking about?" and that's the trap.
That's where they get you.
You might find yourself in a situation where you're going back and forth with her saying she's
ugly, you saying she's not over and over again trying to convince her that she's wrong here.
But she's not actually looking to be convinced.
It's how she feels and your compliments while they may feel good aren't going to change that.
Now taking the opposite approach and saying "hell yeah you do look ugly" is not the right way to go.
Do not do that at all.
Instead, the way to navigate that situation without getting annoyed over
the fact that you know that she's fishing for compliments or looking for attention
is to simply explore what she says with her.
Instead, you may want to say something like "I'm really sorry to hear that,
why do you feel that way about yourself?" and then give her the space to share if she wants to share.
Now, if she's not looking to have a deep conversation that's okay.
Just don't get stuck in the compliment circle of trying to convince her that she's wrong
because you're gonna get annoyed and she's not really gonna get anything out of it either.
You're both gonna walk away unhappy.
The thing is sometimes people are gonna speak their minds without
thinking how it's gonna make you feel or how it's gonna affect you down the line.
The best thing that you can do is know how to navigate those situations when feelings arise
and hearing something annoying coming from someone else.
Now if you're interested to see what guys tend to say to girls that annoy
them check out the video over there on the screen now where I talk about
the opposite of what guys tend to say that really gets under girls' skin.
If you're a guy, watch that video because you're going to learn a lot.
You're going to know what to say and what not to say.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.