When we go through the day and we don't really feel good and we don't really
like who we are, we struggle. And we waste time and we can cause relationship
problems. So watch this video on how to stop feeling like you're not good enough.
A very common feeling that you may experience your life as this feeling of
not being good enough. First off, I want you to know you are not alone.
Oh, you are not alone. I've had the feeling, you have the feeling, your
neighbor has the feeling, your kids have the feeling, your spouse has the feeling.
It is a common, common, common feeling that we all go through. So you're not a
weirdo for having this lasts a long time and you're not strange, you're not broken.
I think what you're actually missing is training. You don't know how that got
there in such a deep level and you don't know how to get out of it. And so I want
to walk you through a step that can help you in adjusting this in your life so
you can have more of some self control of it and that it's not getting to those
levels of being debilitating. And so you're not strange and weird it's just
very real very common and you're not alone. It's just pretty much the human
race has this challenge. So if you've ever heard some kind of little comment
in your head that says, "You're the only one that feels this way." That's not true.
It's not true at all. But let's talk about what and how this feeling got
generated. Well I've never done something wrong, I have... Have you ever made a
mistake? I have. Well when we make mistakes and when we do something wrong,
we feel like we didn't do that good enough. When that activity that we didn't
do well enough stays with us, that mistake or that wrongdoing that we did,
when that sits inside of us and then we make another mistake, well now there's
2 mistakes and then we do something else wrong and there's 3 and then
there's number 4, number 5, number 6. Usually by noon, you and I have
probably done 20 things wrong. 20 mistakes, right? And it just stacks up
really fast of we didn't do that good enough. Now notice I'm saying I didn't do
that good enough. Before it ever becomes the feeling of I'm not good enough, first
it came from the feeling I didn't do that good enough. Because
before anything ever has power to change our identity or how we feel about
ourselves, first it was something on the outside that we did. Then it can seep in
over time or quantity. It can seep in to us and then we actually feel like we're
not good enough. But this has been a lifelong process for you and for me. It's
been a lifelong process. So how many mistakes and how many things do you
think you've done wrong in your whole entire life, right?
There's probably what? A million? And how do we change that? If we've done a
million things wrong and and you know, we've made a million mistakes, how do we
change that? Well, there is a way to change it. And it
doesn't take that much to change it. But there are some steps to take, so let's
walk through what that would look like. Now here you see, there's a category of
feeling like you're not good enough and then there's a category of feeling like
you aren't good enough. Over here, if the focus is of all the problems you've
caused or the problems that you face. Or you're remembering and thinking about
everything that you've done wrong or that you will do wrong. And then also, all
the things that you feel bad about. If this is the conversation in your mind or
the focus during the day, this scale is going to tip this way and you are going
to feel like you're not good enough. But notice what I said. If your focus is this
today, us feeling like we're not good enough by what we do every day is
actually a true statement. There's no way I could do everything right today.
There's no way. I will make mistakes and I will make... I will do things wrong. I
think already in this video, I think I've done like 12 things wrong. In how I'm
talking. So, I could be stacking up all these things that were bad and wrong and
the problems I'm having. So I could tip this scale way over here.
And be stuck here all day long. But that's not what we're learning
here. What we're learning is how do we tip the scale, right? How do we go this
way? Well, if we could look at it this way that not feeling good enough is on one
side and feeling good enough is on the other side. And then in between, right?
There's this gauge. We by what we talk about inside of our head can move this
gauge. We can move it this way. But we got to go this way. If we stay here
and what we're talking about and how we think, of course we're going to feel like
we're not good enough. To but I go over here, let's switch it over here to let's think about
solutions. Let's come up with ideas for solutions. Let's think about talking to
people about solutions. Let's talk to our friends about solutions, let's talk about...
We can bring up the problem but let's focus on the solution. That's different
than bringing up a problem and focusing on the problem. We've got to be in
solution mode if we want to tip it over this way. The other thing is over here is
learning. Education. When we stop learning, we are not going to feel good enough.
That's for sure. And who came up with this weird idea that that you think... And
I may, I thought this too. And other people think this too, Is we think once
we leave school, we're done learning. No. Get into your next book my friend. Go to
your next class, go learn something somewhere. But keep learning because that
keeps you in the mode of, "Hey, I can do this. I can make a difference." But you got
to keep the education coming to you. There's lots of ways to get education.
You got books, you got videos, you got audios, you got people to learn from, you
got classes to take. There's all kinds of Education. But it really is true. A person
who stops learning is going to drift over here and be on this side more than
be on that side. Then the last one over here is gratitude. You can think all day
long about how messed up you are and all the mistakes you make and
and everything you did wrong. Anybody can do that. I could do that.
Anybody in this room could do this. You could do this. Anybody can focus on this
stuff and totally feel terrible. You can do that to yourself.
Did you hear what I just said? You can do that to yourself if that's what you want
to do to yourself. It is available 24 hours a day to make yourself feel
terrible. It's to pile all of this in your head and
this is all you can think about. But if you decide and you're ready to decide to
think about something else, then you move over here and you begin finding, creating,
imagining solutions. And you're adding education and you're adding gratitude to
your life. And you're not... And how do you add gratitude to your life? I remember
the day I had a coach who said, "Kirk, you're kind of grumpy and honoré too
much. You need to change your attitude." And I said, "Well this is the
attitude I've always had." He said, "No. You need to change your attitude." And I was
like, "Okay, what do I do?" And he goes... And it was just one of those cliches
statements, right? "You got to change your attitude." But
having an attitude of gratitude. Yeah, what he said it was so cheesy.
It was so cheesy. And I'm like what? What does that mean? I don't know what that
means. And he goes, "You need to count. You need to count all the things you're
grateful for." That's like, "What?" What? I just 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5. He goes,
"No. You write on a piece of paper number one. And then you write next to it what
you're grateful for. And then you write number 2 and what you're
grateful for. And so you make a list Kirk of 100. And then you go next to each one
of those numbers and you find something you're grateful for." I said, "Oh, okay. I can
do 100." And he goes, "No, a hundred a week. You do a hundred things. You find a
new list of a hundred things you're grateful for every week." He says, "Within
2 weeks, you will have so much self-control
of your attitude in feeling like you are good enough." it is off the charts. And I
thought, "Oh, that's going to be a breeze." Wow, I struggled with it. I got to like 30 or
40 and I struggled. It was like, "Okay, what else am i grateful for?" And I had to
start writing things like I'm... I'm grateful for cold cereal. You know, I'm
grateful for toast. There's all these goofy things that I'm going. Okay, I'm
grateful for pizza, I'm grateful for... You know, chocolate chip cookies. And there's
all this food stuff and after I wrote my wife and my children, the food didn't
come before my wife and my children. But I started writing. How did it like kind
of scrape some stuff together. But even when I wrote toast and cereal and
chocolate chip cookies, I didn't realize that part of my mind and its functions
is to keep inventory. It literally counts. And there's evidence.
Over here, I've been counting all the things I've done wrong and I keep
reviewing them. No wonder I feel terrible. No wonder I feel like I'm not good
enough. It's just make sense. Over here, I wasn't keeping inventory. I
didn't make a list. Now over here, it's just on going inside my head. But the
power. Here's the power behind this is you literally write it down on paper. And
you're looking at it. Like you're showing evidence it's right in front of you. Now,
over here, you know, I'm like, "Okay, I'll start learning stuff then. I'll listen to
a book or read a book or go you know start thinking about solutions." This
stuff would come back up though and try to smash all this. But I can't get
stronger unless I start being stronger over here. You're not going to get it unless
you start. You got to start. This doesn't just come in a pill it does it come in a
drink. It doesn't come in between 2 pieces of bread with a little bit of
mayo on it. That does... That doesn't... You don't just get
this. You have to do something for it. You have to do something for it. But that
number 3. The list. The gratitude list. The gratitude list of a hundred a week
within seriously a week and a half. I didn't get to the end of the 2 weeks.
Within a week and a half, I was different. My thinking was different and when my
thinking changes, my feelings change. If you can't change your feelings, you got
to go here got to go here. You got to change what's going on inside your head.
So that it can start to change how you feel. So, your task your assignment
is... Your homework is you go start creating your list of 100 things you're
grateful for. And I'm going to use the same cute little statement he said to
me. You know, you got to have an attitude of gratitude. And you got to have a list
of 100 a week. So I'm grateful for that coach that I had in my life who got
me into counting. Because counting on that side of the scale moved my mind to
that side of the scale. It doesn't take much. it doesn't take much. You just need
to move the focus. Move the attention and it will move. You're not that far away
from that happening. And when it feels like it's silly and it feels like it's
not doing anything, just get to your list of 100. In that week, that's 7 days.
And then you keep going. And maybe you're a person who's going to take it
3 or 4 weeks. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it will but you don't stop.
Once there's enough evidence on that side... Once there's enough evidence on
that side, your mind and its focus changes. And it just takes it there. This
is always available. You can access this whenever you want to just be miserable.
And just ruin your day and ruin your week. You can go here whenever you want.
But I suggest going over here. Get your list of 100. Get it going and you'll
experience what I experienced. It's beautiful. And that's what we do here in
the company. This is what we do. This is our mission, our purpose. This is what I'm
hoping to give you is something to change your life.
So, stay connected with us, subscribe. Watch what we have here for you. These
are great training videos. And it's about real-life situations that are going on
right now in your life. And it's not only going to help you. That's going to help
anybody you come in contact with. This is good stuff. It works. And also check us
out on our website at 3keyelements.com. We're here to serve you because you,
the relationships, your life, your direction, especially how you feel really
matters to us. And that's what we're here for is to help you find the answers
you're looking for.