-Where were you on the night of Hanukkah?
[ Laughter ]
-[ Chuckles ]
-We were watching "Superman."
-The wireless security camera footage show you gyrating
just half a millimeter away from the crime scene.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-Now, I wanted to try something fun with you.
I thought we could act out a dramatic scene together.
-Okay.
-But first, we need to fill in the blanks.
It is time for "Mad Libs Theater."
Here we go.
-♪ Mad Lib Theater ♪
-This is how it works.
We're going to ask you for some silly words,
nouns, verbs, adjectives, et cetera.
We'll do that, and they're going to be written
onto cue cards, as you're saying them,
but also write them on this card.
Then we're going to act out a dramatic Mad Lib scene.
Ready for this? -Okay.
-Give me a male name. -Uh, blah, Rory.
[ Laughter ]
Not Blah Rory. Just Rory. -Yeah. Just not Blah Rory.
-Blah Rory. Yeah.
-Name of your favorite teacher.
-Mrs. Tate.
-Exclamation.
-[ Bleep ]
-No. No, you can't say that. -Oh, sorry.
-No. -Um...
-Can we say that? Still can't say that.
On American television, no, you can't say that.
-Okay. Flibbity gibbitt.
[ Laughter ]
-F-L... -Flibbity...
-B-B-I-T-T-Y. -Flibbity.
-Flibbity. -Gibbitt.
-G-I-B-B-I-T-T.
-Alright. Got that. You got flibbity gibbitt.
Number. -4,229.
[ Laughter ]
-Plural. Plural objects.
-Plural objects. Eggs. Eggs?
-Yeah, eggs. -Okay.
-Store name.
-Macy's.
-Body part.
-Buttock.
-A silly word.
-Buttock. No.
[ Laughter ]
Geronimo.
Oh, no, that's -- Well, that's a different thing.
-No, flibbity gibbitt we could use for that.
-Can we just do that down there? -We'll do flibbity gibbitt
down by "silly word."
-This is how it's going upstairs.
How they're writing our scripts. -Flibbity gibbitt.
And then an exclamation. Give me that again. Exclamation.
You say it some one. "Hey." -Crumbs.
-There you go.
-It's very Hugh Grant. -Crumbs. Very Hugh Grant.
Yeah, it's great. -Yeah.
-Name of a holiday. -Hanukkah.
-Movie title. -Movie title. "Superman."
-"Superman." Verb ending in "ing."
-F-- No, I can't say that one.
[ Laughter ]
-Can't say that on the air.
-Gyrating.
[ Laughter ]
-Amount of distance -- Amount of distance.
Like 10 miles or 5 feet.
-10 miles or 5 feet? What do you mean? There's a choice?
-Just an amount of distance. -Oh, any amount.
Oh, um...half a millimeter.
[ Laughter ]
-Country. -Ukraine.
-Animal. -Badger.
-Famous movie quote.
-"This town needs an enema."
Jack Nicholson in "Batman." -"Batman." [ Indistinct ]
Another body part.
-Another body part? Boy, it's looking tough.
Uh, little toe.
[ Laughter ]
-Little toe. -Little toe.
-That was the name of my band in college.
-Your handwriting is worse than mine.
-No, this is good. You can read all this.
Children's song.
-"Baa Baa Black Sheep."
-Oh, yeah. "Baa Baa Black Sheep."
Any any reason why?
-I have a small child that I sing things
like "Baa Baa Black Sheep" to. -Aww.
Adjective.
-Mind-bending.
-A very interesting gentlemen.
Well, we've filled out our words.
That's our whole game right there. Thank you so much for --
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, now it is time to perform the scene.
Let's go. -Let's do it.
-Okay.
♪♪
Hello, I'm Detective Rory.
[ Laughter ]
And you are?
-Mrs. Tate.
[ Laughter ]
-You here today under suspicion of second-degree robbery.
-Crumbs!
-That's right.
4,229 eggs
were stolen from Macy's,
and the crime scene as your butt written all over it.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-That is flibbity gibbitt!
[ Laughter ]
-Where were you on the night of Hanukkah?
-[ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-We were watching "Superman."
-The wireless security camera footage show you gyrating
just half a millimeter away from the crime scene.
[ Laughter ]
Alright. Alright. I'm through with playing games.
Where are you from?
-[ Ukrainian accent ] Ukraine.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. Just as I suspected.
You know, one of the best parts about being a detective
is that I get to lock up criminals like you
and go home to my children and my pet badger...
[ Laughter ]
...and say, "This town needs an enema."
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, fine. I did it. I committed the robbery.
But they only did it because I needed the money
to buy myself little toe implants.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I knew it all along. I knew it all along.
And every time I solve a crime,
I like to sing my favorite song.
♪ Baa Baa Black Sheep ♪
♪ Have you any wool? ♪
♪ Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full ♪
-You have a mind-bending voice! I love you!
And scene!
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Indistinct ]
That's all for "Mad Lib Theater."
My best to Benedict Cumberbatch!
Kerry, I wanted to try something fun with you,
so I thought we could act out a dramatic scene together.
-I'm good at drama. I'm good at drama.
-Yes, you're very good at drama.
First we have to fill in the blanks.
It is time for "Mad Lib Theater." Here we go.
-♪ Mad Lib Theater ♪
♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪
-This is how it works. I'm going to ask you for
some silly words -- nouns, verbs, adjectives, et cetera.
As we do that, they'll be written on cue cards.
-Okay. -And then we're going to act out
a very dramatic... -Yes.
...Mad Lib scene. -Don't -- this is serious.
-Oh, I know. -Take it seriously.
Seriously, don't smile. -Be serious.
-Yeah, be serious for once. -Don't laugh.
-Hey, hey, hey. [ Light laughter ]
-I mean, you have to know how... -This is really hard.
-...hard my life is. -It's so hard.
-Alright. -It's hard.
-Ready? -Okay.
-Silly word.
-Um, uh...
[ Laughs ]
spectacularlicious?
-Wow. My cue card guy just fainted.
[ Laughter ] Spectacularicious.
[ Laughs ]
I'll leave that up my cue card. He's like, [ gasping ]
Name you'd give a cat?
-Um, Fluffy Girl.
[ Light laughter ]
I'm not a cat person.
-A type of nut.
-Oh, coconut.
[ Laughter ]
-Coconut.
Adjective.
-Um, uh...fuzzy.
Did I say that? No, I said fluffy.
-No, you said fluffy. -Different.
-It's all good. -Yeah.
-What would you shout if you saw a monster under your bed?
-Not today, Satan!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-What?
[ Laughter ]
Not today, Satan. Okay.
[ Laughter ]
Letter of the Alphabet.
-Um...Q.
-Q. Something you hate doing.
-Um, going to the dentist.
-Really? I like it. -Ugh.
I like the after, but the during -- very uncomfortable.
-Really? -Yeah, I don't like it.
-Do you gas it? -No.
Is that the secret? -I don't know.
People are afraid of dentists, they --
-I'm afraid of gassing.
[ Laughter ]
But I'm a lightweight. -I don't know if it's called
gassing or if they do this. But I know that --
I think it just makes you laugh.
Quest, you're always going to the dentist.
Do you have gas? -Do you take the gas?
-Questlove! Questlove, do you have gas?
[ Laughter ]
-Are you gassy? Are you gassy?
-Yes, he's very gassy. Yeah, okay.
-Sure.
[ Laughter ]
-Alright. -No.
-Give me a number. Give me a number.
-Um...seven billion.
[ Laughter ]
-Adjective. Another adjective.
-Okay. Um...
-You already said fuzzy and fluffy.
-...smelly.
[ Laughter ]
-Plural animal.
-Uh, um...frogs.
-Old TV show.
-"Good Times." -Oh, yeah.
[ Cheers ] -Yes, yes.
-Body part.
-Um...belly button.
[ Laughter ]
-Verb ending in "ing."
-Oh, um...I'm thinking about construction -- screwing.
[ Laughter ]
-Exclamation.
-Um, "Sweet Jesus!"
[ Laughter ]
-Amount of time, like two minutes or 20 hours.
-Um...19 years.
-19 years.
Type of profession.
-Um, profession... lady of the night.
[ Laughter ]
-This is fantastic. A lady of the night.
How classy. -It's the oldest profession.
-It's the oldest profession.
A noun. -A noun, um...Range Rover.
[ Laughter ]
-Fantastic.
Celebrity name.
-Oh, um...Lady Gaga.
-Yeah, Lady Gaga.
Name of a famous athlete.
-Um, I'm scared to say my husband
so I'll say um, uh, Michael Jordan.
-Michael Jordan.
Plural noun. We're almost done.
-Um, lily pads.
[ Laughter ]
-The frog theme. -I'm having a frog day.
-Yeah, you're having a frog moment.
Restaurant chain.
-Um, Olive Garden.
-Absolutely, man. [ Cheers ]
When you're here you're family, dude.
[ Laughter ]
We filled out the words for our scene.
Are you ready to perform? -Yes.
Are you ready? -Very dramatic.
-Let's go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-And I'm glad you were able to make it to this
parent-teacher meeting, Mr. Spectacularicious.
[ Laughter ]
Please have a seat. -Oh, yes.
-You're supposed to wait till I ask you to sit.
-Thank you, I -- yeah.
Good to see you again, Ms. Fluffy Girl.
[ Laughter ]
-So, I want to talk to you about your son, little Coconut.
[ Laughter ]
I've been a teacher for many years and I've never seen
such a fuzzy child.
[ Laughter ]
-Not today, Satan!
[ Laughter ]
Uh-uh, uh-uh!
[ Cheers ]
Not today, Satan!
-I -- no, I -- -Satan, not today, Satan!
Hey! [ Stomps floor ] Not today, Satan!
-I am as surprised as you.
Your son is getting a Q in math...
[ Laughter ]
...and a D in going to the dentist.
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. -And for show and tell,
he brought in seven billion smelly frogs.
[ Laughter ]
It was very smelly. -I will --
-It was terrible. -I will admit that his mother
and I started letting him stay up late to watch "Good Times."
-Oh, well, that explains it.
-How is little Coconut's class participation?
-Well, you know, he constantly calls out
even though I tell him if he has a question,
he has to raise his belly button.
-He has -- He has an outie. He has an outie.
-He does. He's got to raise it up.
-Yeah, exactly. -Got to lift it up.
-Lift it up, yeah. -He's gotta be proud.
-Not today, Satan! Not today, Satan!
-Got to say, "I have something to say."
Yeah, and today during social studies, I found him
in the back of the classroom, screwing.
[ Laughter ]
-Sweet Jesus!
[ Laughter ]
Sweet Jesus!
Not today, Satan! Sweet Jesus!
Not today, Satan!
Oh, not today.
-I want to say one more thing. -[ Laughs ]
You don't have to raise your hand.
Is there anything you suggest that I do
to help my son improve?
-Yes, of course. That's why you're here.
I want you to read with him at least 19 years every night.
[ Laughter ]
I actually just bought him the book,
"Harry Potter and the Ladies of the Night."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-That's a very good one. -It was a good --
That's a very good one. -Yeah, yeah.
-That's a very popular book here at Lady Gaga Elementary School.
-Yes. -Yes.
[ Laughter ]
So anyways, I also suggest you sit down and make sure...
-Anyways. -...that he does his homework.
-Oh. -Because last time, he just said
that Michael Jordan ate it.
-Oh, that's a classic excuse. I understand.
-But listen, he's very well liked in class, very well liked.
And he often leads the other students in singing his favorite
song, "The Lily Pads on the Bus."
-Oh, I love that song.
Do you want to sing it together?
[ Laughter ]
-Of course.
-♪ The lily pads on the bus go round and round ♪
♪ Round and round ♪
♪ The lily pads on the bus go round and round ♪
♪ All through the Olive Garden ♪
And...scene!
That's how you do it right there.
Kerry Washington. You are the greatest.