[MUSIC PLAYING]
IYANLA VANZANT: While Luenell prepares
to speak with her daughter, I want to know more about how
she's managed to get away with this angry Black woman
persona for so many years.
So I've asked her longtime manager
to ponder the question-- what have I done to permit Luenell
to be less than her best.
IYANLA VANZANT: Long day huh? BILL: Indeed indeed
IYANLA VANZANT: Yeah
BILL: But a lovely day. IYANLA VANZANT: Yeah lovely?
BILL: Lovely day--
IYANLA VANZANT: It's ugly outside.
BILL: Oh come on I love this Weather.
IYANLA VANZANT: You do?
BILL: Love the rain, yeah. IYANLA VANZANT: Really?
BILL: Yes ma'am. IYANLA VANZANT: Yea--
What did you think about your question?
BILL: It was tough.
It's a tough question.
Because you know an honest in honesty,
when you look at when I look at it
and I say have I ever enabled Luenell to be less than her
best you know--
sure.
Sometimes, you know--
And at the same time, of course not,
I've enabled her to be her best you know,
that was it's been my job.
IYANLA VANZANT: Is she at her best now?
BILL: I don't think so.
IYANLA VANZANT: So where is she?
BILL: Like my biggest thing is just her physical health.
IYANLA VANZANT: Which is not good.
BILL: The sad clown exactly.
Yeah--
IYANLA VANZANT: But you know she wears these right?
BILL: Oh yeah--
Oh I know.
IYANLA VANZANT: And my concern is
really the fact that nobody deals with her about
what's underneath.
And that's what's showing up in her body.
BILL: So much of her was damaged being away from her daughter.
IYANLA VANZANT: Mm-hmm
BILL: You know the sacrifice of that.
IYANLA VANZANT: Was it a sacrifice
or was it a conscious choice?
Because I've heard of performers,
entertainers, actresses, singers,
taking their children on road.
BILL: Yeah you know--
IYANLA VANZANT: But weren't you the manager?
BILL: I was starting with-- yeah I
was managing her at that point.
IYANLA VANZANT: Her daughter is in the state
of traumatic numbness.
Luenell is-- like I said just in poor condition.
So I'm wondering when I look at her
and I see the depth of suffering--
BILL: Mm-hmm
IYANLA VANZANT: And I wonder if the woman is suffering because
of the way people have coddled, enabled,
accommodated, the comedian--
as opposed to pulling forth the woman.
BILL: It's tough to completely not enable someone
when you are working for them.
IYANLA VANZANT: Just recently we've had these two, for me,
which were catastrophic losses--
one was Anthony Bourdain and the other one was Robin Williams.
Maria
IYANLA VANZANT: I want to know how
many people sat around watching Robin Williams suffering.
But because they got a check, or because they didn't
know if he would you know go off on them,
they watched him suffer.
Because anybody with two eyes in my feel look at him
and could see the suffering.
So are we sitting here waiting for this thing to blow up?
BILL: No.
IYANLA VANZANT: Are we?
And that's why I ask you this question
because I know you love her.
BILL: Of course--
IYANLA VANZANT: I want you to love her and manage her well.
BILL: Yes--
IYANLA VANZANT: Even if it means you're not her friend anymore.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
IYANLA VANZANT: Some of what you were born with, you know,
like she felt this--
do you feel that?
DAUGHTER: No
IYANLA VANZANT: We talked about them in the room yesterday.
So we definitely know you have this.
DAUGHTER: Mhm
IYANLA VANZANT: And then we talked about that.
And then we've talked about--
DAUGHTER: Guilt Yep that's me No I matter.
IYANLA VANZANT: To her
DAUGHTER: Yes
IYANLA VANZANT: Even in the midst of her audience
DAUGHTER: Yeah-- don't respect me
no I feel like she respects me.
IYANLA VANZANT: Until you don't do what she wants you to do
DAUGHTER: Right-- don't know me-- yeah.
IYANLA VANZANT: What about
DAUGHTER: Don't understand me--
yeah.
IYANLA VANZANT: OK-- now this was
the big one from yesterday--
DAUGHTER: Attack
[MUSIC PLAYING]
IYANLA VANZANT: What did you just hear her say?
Don't matter what you heard--
I just want I just want to hear what you heard to say.
DAUGHTER: I heard you say that you also don't feel heard.
IYANLA VANZANT: Look at her.
DAUGHTER: You also feel that I was happy to pack
and that's not the case.
IYANLA VANZANT: Don't answer.
Just let her know what you heard--
DAUGHTER: Happy to see you go--
IYANLA VANZANT: OK something's happening.
Tell me what's going on.
DAUGHTER: Nothing--
IYANLA VANZANT: What's coming up?
Just make inquiry.
What is it feeling like?
Yeah-- let it come up baby.
Let it come all the way up.
And let me show you what to do now mama.
Now you get in there.
Get in there.
And you take that head and you put it on your bossom.
Come on-- get you on your bossom.
Yeah-- Let her know you're here.
Yeah-- Yeah--
Just let it come up baby.
Let it come up.
She's got you this time.
Talk to your baby mama.
Talk to your baby.
LUENELL: And let whatever you're feeling let it out.
This is the time to do it.
Let's just both get it out.
IYANLA VANZANT: How about don't do it like I did--
and hold on to it for 60 years.
So that it don't come between you and your babies.
How about that Miss Luenell.