hey guys it's practical psychology and
today I'd like to introduce you to
Rafael liason he's going to be
presenting today's video on how to stop
worrying about what other people think
of you now his videos have amazing
backgrounds
he has great content and the delivery is
very motivating and I just thought you
guys would really enjoy him and his
channel so if you like his style go
check out his channel in the description
or the in screen at the end of this
video because his upload speed is
dominating mine and I predict his
Channel and hitting half a million
subscribers in a couple months I hope
you guys enjoy are you worried about
what other people think of you well no
wonder our DNA's playing catch-up with
modern day society and we evolved from a
time where your reputation with
everything if one person decided that
you were a scam artist and that you were
evil you can be chased by the whole town
with pitchforks so don't be upset that
you're feeling this need for approval
and validation just learn how to handle
it and it's actually pretty easy you see
every moment that you spend worrying and
thinking about what other people think
of you every moment that you waste and
trying to people please is just a moment
that you could have spent actually
making yourself the kind of person
that's interesting worth being around
and actually attractive to other people
you see it's no secret that the people
that aren't so attached or really
looking for that approval or validation
are the people that get it the most
notice how somebody that's a little bit
cocky and funny and relaxed it's usually
a lot more likeable than the person
saying I really hope you guys like me we
don't like that we don't respond well to
that because it's just not attractive so
instead of being upset why don't we just
do what works and here's what works
don't worry about what people think of
you don't worry about getting other
people's approval worry about getting
your own approval listen the best way to
make other people like you the best way
to get them to think that you're a cool
person the best way to actually convince
somebody that you're worth being around
and that you're somebody they should do
business with be in the relationship
with spend time with invest into is by
doing the things and having the
qualities that make you like other
people so look at the people that you
admire and think what are the traits
what are the skills what are the
different talents that they have that
they bring as value to other people that
makes people like them maybe it's a good
sense of humor well you can take some
improv classes it's not that hard
doesn't cost a lot of money just watch a
couple of comedy shows on YouTube and
break them down and go well here's a
good joke and this one I really like and
then learn them by heart next time
you're in the conversation throw a
couple index all of a sudden whoa people
are responding to you what's going on
here as long as you're not trying to get
a response and you're doing it because
you find it fun and you enjoy doing it
people start to like you people start to
really want to be around you people
start to enjoy your company it's not
hard to impress people it's not hard to
make friends and and to influence people
it's actually more difficult to turn
people off and make them not want to
spend time with you but we do it because
we get so obsessed thinking thinking
thinking and that's the biggest problem
that we have it's thinking too much
so another great thing that you could do
is take up the practice of meditation
because if you spend some time silencing
your mind now when you're interacting
with other people are you're meeting
somebody new for the first time you're
going on a date you're going to be
present to the moment you're going to
show up and actually
be there with the other people or the
other person because they're not in your
head trying to manipulate and predict
instead you can actually enjoy what's
happening right here and right now look
chances are if you're an average person
you're watching this video and you're
even thinking as you're watching this
video right now as I'm talking you're
having a thought that's how neurotic our
minds are just crazy running all over
the place
and if you can learn to calm yours
you'll have a huge advantage and it's
really attractive somebody who isn't
caught up in their head all the time
because there's one thing to be said
about being an amazing person having all
the right qualities but if you're not
present when you're interacting with
other people
nobody's going to pay attention to you I
want to be around you if you're just
sitting there on your phone sitting in
the corner you're not looking very
approachable yet that's more and more
becoming the default for people so if
you really want to stand out and make a
good impression make people like you
make them just be grown to you become
magnetic to other people draweth the
press work on that part now think about
what other traits what are
characteristics could you develop that
would actually make people think well of
you again what we're doing is we're
thinking what can I do to make people
like me more that's the underlying
principle it's not about all will they
like me won't they like me why don't
they like me because that's a lot of
time where we end up thinking but when
you do that you put yourself against the
wall
and you can't break through so it's
about asking the right question
so that you can walk around the wall
again what is it that I can do in order
to make a better impression
what can I do to care less about what
they think of me so that they'll like me
more well you could go into a
conversation a dialogue or a social
situation with a lot more confidence and
better body language a lot of people
they have their shoulders hanging
forward they're kind of apologizing for
themselves they're trying to look small
they're afraid to take up space they
don't really want to you know open up
their chest and get themselves notice so
think about that how are you carrying
yourself because this is creating a
massive impression whether you know it
or not
subconsciously in people's minds about
who you are the type of person that you
are what you have to offer and whether
or not it's worth even talking to you in
the first place so what does the body
language of somebody who's confident and
charismatic look like well it's very
open there's usually some hand gestures
going on you could probably see me
talking right now maybe they have a
sense of style their own sense of style
that dress originally but classy and
they're not afraid to show who they are
their personality through their wardrobe
another thing is that they're just not
afraid to take up space
they don't apologize for being a human
being when they sit on the chair their
legs are probably open spread if you're
a math they're not afraid to you know
cut their arms out
they're not afraid to touch other people
that's another big one if you're worried
about whether the pimple people think of
you you become all caught up and oh god
what does this mean what does that mean
trying to analyze all the little social
signals but when you're a confident and
charismatic person you're not thinking
about what other people are thinking
about you so that's the biggest lesson I
want you to get out of this video stop
thinking about what people are thinking
about you you're thinking about what
they're thinking that's crazy what do
you think do you think that's it hey hey
do you like me do you think that's good
or do you think hey what's up what's
going on
nice to meet you is a lot better it's a
pretty big difference and this is me
acting right this is me pretend to be
all like scared and worried but what do
you think that looks like when you
genuinely are worried when you genuinely
are scared when you genuinely are
nervous about the response that you're
going to get that makes it that much
worse you understand because when you're
then going around and also thinking
Amaury focus your attention on making
the kind of impression that you want
instead of thinking about what might
come out or what kind of response you
might get that you don't want focus all
of your attention on what you can do to
make the right impression focus all of
your attention on what is in your power
instead of what's not because look at
the end of the day you cannot decide
what somebody else thinks of that's the
manipulation you can't make their
thoughts for them everybody's going to
have different opinions and the worst
part is for people to accept that list
it's actually beautiful but not
everybody's going to like you and you
should be okay with that you know why
because you probably don't like
everybody tell me do you like everybody
everybody you meet everybody in the
whole entire world that's not one person
that you dislike a little bit of course
there is so
if units like some people would it be
fair enough that some people are going
to dislike you simple math think about
it of course some people aren't going to
like you so my best tip to you is this
instead of trying to get everybody to
like you why don't you focus on the
people that you do connect because the
people that you well that don't like you
or you don't like them
so waste of time anyway trying to
impress them trying to be the right
person so that they will like you it's
just going to drain your energy in the
end you'll maybe develop some kind of
relationship that you won't even
appreciate anyway because you're being a
fake version of yourself
that's the most important thing be who
you really are and then the people that
you're supposed to connect with it'll
happen and the people who don't like you
don't like you maybe you watch this
video right now and you've got a bad
impression of me you don't like me well
then you don't have to come to my
channel and subscribe and like my videos
but if you did that's great
some people will some people won't
either way is fine by me and hopefully
by YouTube all you can do is your best
to present who you are share what you
have to say talk about your passions
what you enjoy connect with people no
that's that's it that's all that's
really in our power anything beyond that
is just crazy I mean if it starts
raining right now I have two options I
can go find some shelter
maybe cave somewhere down here or I can
you know try to get home I can dance in
the rain or vault so really the two
options are deal with it or get angry
and upset at it and just complain and
most people pick that second one they go
oh well it's raining a call that sucks
no stop raining stop raining stop
raining that doesn't work that doesn't
work stop you have to like me that will
make them like you just do what you can
deal with what's coming your way be open
to it
don't get attached to a certain outcome
life is a flow and our tendency is to
try to make it into a little box to make
it simplified in a way where we can
always control and manipulate the
outcome but the truth is you have way
less control then you ever think you do
and things get out there like this your
life could end and I'm telling you at
the end when you're done you're not
going to lay there and say to yourself
you know what I really wish I would have
worried more about what people thought
of me what you will say is god I wish I
wouldn't have taken others opinion so
serious I was sure to live more vanozza
shared who I really was and connected
with the people that like me huge thank
you to practical psychology for posting
this video on this channel I really
really appreciate it if you guys enjoyed
it click the thing that's popping up
somewhere on the screen right now jump
on over to my channel and have a bunch
of other videos for you if you enjoyed
this one