( APPLAUSE )
LOOK OVER THERE.
JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.
JON, YOU KNOW, OUR GUESTS-- YOU KNOW WHO OUR GUESTS ARE TONIGHT?
HAVE YOU LOOKED?
HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE BORDER TO SEE WHO WE HAVE TONIGHT?
>> Jon: YES, BRET BAIER.
>> Stephen: FOX NEWS BRET BAIER.
THE NEWS GUY, AND FROM "CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAM," SUSIE ESSMAN IS
HERE TONIGHT.
( APPLAUSE )
NO LONGER DATING.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO GET INTO IT WITH BOTH OF THEM, FIND
OUT WHAT HAPPENED, WHY NOT?
( LAUGHTER )
I'M DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
YOU HAVE TO ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS.
QUESTIONS.
( LAUGHTER )
ASYMMETRICAL.
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY EARS?
DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
>> Jon: YES, I NOTICED THAT.
AND THEN ONE DAY YOU POINTED IT OUT TO ME.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BY TAKING ONE EAR -- >> Stephen: AND DOING THIS
THING RIGHT HERE.
SEE IF THE BEAR CAN DO THIS.
CAN HE DO THAT?
SEE RIGHT THERE?
( APPLAUSE )
IS THAT TOO EROTIC FOR CBS WHAT JUST HAPPENED THERE?
HIS EAR GOT TURGID.
( LAUGHTER )
NOW YOU'RE UPSET.
WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH WHICH OF COURSE--
( APPLAUSE )
WHICH YOU MAY KNOW RUNS FROM SEPTEMBER 15 THROUGH OCTOBER 15.
NOW, IT SEEMS STRANGE THAT IT RUNS MID-MONTH, BUT IT'S BECAUSE
LATIN AMERICAN CALENDARS ARE METRIC.
BUT IT'S ALSO DUE TO THE FACT THAT SEPTEMBER 15 MARKS THE
ANNIVERSARY OF INDEPENDENCE FROM SPAIN IN EL SALVADOR, COSTA
RICA, GUATEMALA, HONDURAS, AND NICARAGUA-- OR AS I'M PROPOSING
CALLING THEM: "EL COSTA MALA HONDUR-AGUA."
I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE IT'S IMPORTANT TO CELEBRATE HISPANIC
HERITAGE MONTH-- EVEN IF WE CAN'T AGREE ON WHAT TO CALL IT--
BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF DEBATE AROUND TERMS LIKE "HISPANIC,"
"LATINO," "LATINA," AND "LATINX."
I AM INFORMED THAT THESE ARE ALL ACCEPTABLE TERMS BUT THEY'RE NOT
INTERCHANGEABLE .
I HAVE LEARNED THAT HISPANICS ARE PEOPLE WHO SHARE THE COMMON
LANGUAGE OF SPANISH, SO THAT INCLUDES PEOPLE FROM SPAIN, MANY
LATIN AMERICAN COUNTRIES, AND WHEREVER THIS GUY COMES FROM:
>> HASTA LA VISTA, BABY.
>> Stephen: ON THE OTHER HAND, LATINOS ARE PEOPLE FROM LATIN
AMERICA, SO THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE SPAIN BUT DOES INCLUDE BRAZIL
AND HAITI, WHICH AREN'T SPANISH SPEAKING.
AND LATINX IS PREFERRED BY SOME U.S.-BORN LATINOS, AND ALSO
THOSE WHO WANT TO MAKE IT MORE GENDER INCLUSIVE.
AND, OF COURSE, "LATIN-EX" IS ALSO THE GIRL WHO BROKE YOUR
HEART DURING A STUDY ABROAD IN BARTHELONA.
( LAUGHTER )
PLUS, THE HISTORY OF THESE WORDS IS COMPLICATED.
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT DIDN'T EVEN START USING THE WORD "HISPANIC"
UNTIL IT WAS INTRODUCED IN THE 1970 CENSUS BY THE NIXON
ADMINISTRATION.
AND I THINK WE ALWAYS SHOULD THINK TWICE BEFORE REFERRING TO
MINORITIES BY WHAT NIXON USED TO CALL THEM.
( LAUGHTER )
DECIDED THAT THE BEST POLICY WAS TO ASK SOME OF OUR HISPANIC,
LATINO, AND LATINX FRIENDS WHAT THEY PREFER TO BE CALLED.
MIRA.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> I WAS BORN IN SPAIN.
SO THAT MAKES ME HISPANIC.
AND BECAUSE I'M HISPANIC, THIS MAKES ME FIVE TIMES SEXIER WHEN
I SAY THINGS LIKE " ( SPEAKING SPANISH )
>> I STRUGGLE WITH IDENTITY A LOT, AND, YOU KNOW, IF I AM
AMERICAN AND MY NAME IS AMERICA, THEN, LIKE, HOW AM I NOT CAPTAIN
AMERICA?
( LAUGHTER )
BE CALL, PERIOD.
THAT WAS A MESSAGE FROM MY GRANDCHILDREN.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> ALL HISPANICS AREN'T LATINOS, AND ALL LATINOS AREN'T HISPANIC.
BUT ALL LATINOS AND ALL HISPANICS ARE INCREDIBLE
HANDSOME.
( LAUGHTER )
CALLED?
I LIKE TO BE CALLED ON MY HAMBURGER PHONE.
IT LOOKS SO SILLY, THERE'S JUST NO WAY IT'S GOING TO BE BAD
NEWS.
HOLA.
AMIGOS.
>> Stephen: "THANK YOU" IN SPANISH, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH FOX NEWS CHIEF POLITICAL ANCHOR,
BRET BAIER.
♪ ♪ ♪