>>HEY BOSS, YOU WANTED TO SPEAK WITH ME? >>ALBERT?
HI. >>HEY, HEY.
>>HOW ARE YOU? >>GOOD. GOOD.
♪♪ JUST WORKING ON ♪ ♪ MY LATEST JINGLE. ♪♪
JUST FLOWS OUT OF ME. I CAN'T STOP IT.
>>YEAH. THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
UM-- >>GOOD. >>SEE, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN WRITING JINGLES
FOR US FOR A LONG TIME, BUT LATELY YOUR WORK HAS
BEEN MORE OFF-PUTTING THAN ATTRACTIVE TO CUSTOMERS. >>WHAT?
WHAT ABOUT MY PIZZA HUT JINGLE? THAT WAS MY BEST.
♪♪ PIZZA HUT PIZZA, A HOT AND STEAMY MESS IN A BOX, MM. ♪♪
>>YOU REALLY SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT JINGLE?
>>UH, NO-- WELL WHAT ABOUT THE ♪♪ WE PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE SO EVERYONE ♪
♪ CAN SEE YOU GLOW. ♪♪ >>YES, ALBERT,
BUT THAT JINGLE WAS FOR LIVER FAILURE MEDICATION. YOU CAN'T SAY SEE YOU GLOW TO PEOPLE WITH JAUNDICE.
>>OH, OH! WHAT ABOUT MY NIKE ONE. THAT ONE WAS MY BEST.
♪♪ NIKE SPORTSWEAR IT ONLY CHAFFS WHEN YOU MOVE. ♪♪
I SEE, THAT ONE IS A LITTLE WEIRD. >>YEAH. YEAH.
>>STRANGE.
>>HONESTLY, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR LATEST SONG. SO--
>>WHAT? YOU MEAN, ♪♪ IT'S THE NECTAR OF ♪
♪ LIFE SO DRINK IT UP! ♪♪ >>ALBERT, 18 PEOPLE DIED
BECAUSE OF THAT JINGLE. >>WHAT?
HOW? >>THE PRODUCT WAS MOTOR OIL AND YOUR JINGLE
TOLD THEM TO DRINK IT. >>OH...
>>WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED? >>SEE, I WANTED THE CARS TO HEAR THE JINGLE
AND DRINK THE OIL, NOT THE PEOPLE.
>>WHAT? YOU ARE LITERALLY KILLING PEOPLE ALBERT.
AT THIS POINT, PRETTY MUCH WHENEVER ONE OF YOUR JINGLES
RINGS AN ANGEL GETS SHANKED AND THROWN INTO A RIVER.
>>OKAY, EVERYONE HAS HAD A COUPLE OF JINGLE BLUNDERS ALL RIGHT?
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY CREATIVE PRODUCT DIET NAMES? >>OKAY, BUT-- >>YOU CANNOT DENY THEIR VALUE.
>>YOUR PRODUCT NAMES ARE ALSO DISTURBING-- >>WHAT?
>>YOU MARKETED OUR COMPANY'S SPAGHETTI NOODLES AS
"TINY NOOSES". >>YEAH, ♪♪ TINY NOOSES SO TASTY ♪
♪ THAT YOU CAN'T BREATHE. ♪♪ >>OH, AND THEN OUR HAIR DRYER.
>>THE HOT BREATH MOUTH? ♪♪ LET IT BREATH ON YOUR HAIR. ♪♪
>>[SOUNDS OF DISGUST] AND OUR DANCE
MUSIC COMPILATION. >>♪♪ TOE JAMS! LICK 'EM! ♪♪
>>LICK 'EM! WHY? ALBERT, SERIOUSLY?
I'M SORRY, BUT AT THIS POINT I HAVE TO LET YOU GO.
>>WHAT? GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE.
>>OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL.
>>OKAY. >>I'M GOING TO PULL OUT A BOX OF PRODUCTS AND IF YOU
CAN COME UP WITH ONE JINGLE THAT ISN'T HORRIFYING, I'LL LET YOU KEEP YOUR JOB.
>>DONE! >>OKAY.
>>♪♪ IT'S A HUGGABLE TEDDY BEAR! THAT'S NOT WEARING CLOTHES; IT'S A NAKED BEAR. ♪♪
>>WHAT? >>I THOUGHT THAT--
>>WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MENTION THAT? PEOPLE WOULDN'T THINK OF IT IF YOU DIDN'T SAY IT!
>>OKAY, UM, ♪♪ STEAK, STEAK, STEAK FROM A COW! ♪
♪ TO GRANDMA'S HOUSE TO THE SLAUGHTER HOUSE! ♪♪
>>OKAY, NO, NO, NO, NO.
>>♪♪ SHINE A LIGHT ON YOUR SKIN WARTS! ♪♪
>>NO SKIN WARTS! >>NO? >>NO! WHY? NO!
>>♪♪ YOU BETTER WET YOUR BROTHER'S BED WHEN HE'S COLORING... ♪
>>WHAT? WET YOUR BROTHER'S BED?
>>I PANICKED. I'M SORRY.
>>THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU'RE PANICKED? ALBERT, JUST GO. JUST GET OUT!
>>CAN I-- >>NO, NO. YOU'RE FIRED.
>>OKAY. >>GET YOUR THINGS AND LEAVE.
>>WELL, I'LL TAKE THAT. FOLDERS ARE THE BEST-- >>ALBERT PLEASE.
>>OKAY. WELL, IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE WORKING WITH YOU AND I'M--
>>YES, YES. >>I WISH YOU AND YOUR COMPANY THE BEST.
>>BYE. >>THANK YOU.
>>BYE. >>OKAY.
♪♪ DOOR NOBS ARE MY-- ♪♪ >>OH MY! ALBERT LEAVE!
>>OKAY.
>>TOTALLY RUINED TEDDY BEARS FOR ME.