hi everyone Adrienne Everheart here your love and relationship coach coming to you today from my own
back garden no I'm not in the Amazon rainforest this is just part of the beautiful and lushness
of North Carolina so I want to talk to you today about reconnecting after a breakup there's really
nothing more painful to me than a breakup because when that person leaves they go out of your life
it's almost worse than death because in death we know why a person's left us we know what's
happened but with a breakup there's all this mystery and your brain wants to know why these
things have happened and of course more than anything you want to get back together with a
person so every day I receive emails from women who want to know can they reconnect and get back
with a lost love and my answer is always yes you can now there are certain factors that go
into play here and there are absolutely certain steps to take there are certain things to do and
certain things to not do to give you the best chances to reconnect with your lost love now
I'm going to start off by telling you that when you go through a breakup you actually have better
chances of getting back together with that same person then you do of actually starting a new
relationship and making that new relationship work same goes for your ex if your ex is broken
if they broken up with you and you're worried that they're going to get involved with someone new
worry not because most relationships right after a breakup usually fail it's known as the rebound
relationship but even more than that most of the time we don't really have our head on straight
to start a new relationship so your chances are much better of reconnecting with that lost love
because you already have established love between you two you already have an established memories
and good times and love and you can build on that and build new and make it actually stronger than
it was before yes I believe a relationship can actually get much stronger after a breakup now
the other thing is that what your gut saying this is a favorite question I like to ask my clients
because your gut probably knows the answer and if you feel like this relationship isn't over
you're probably right now that's going to make you want to do a couple things so I'm going to
talk real quickly about what to do what not to do one other thing you do not want to do
is send your ex lots of texts lots of emails and let them know how much you miss them and
how terrible your life is without them this is going to be a huge turnoff and also it's going
to tell your ex you're really not ready to get back together with them that you've got a lot
of things going on within you you need to work on so instead what I suggest you do is take this
time to really work on yourself and also this is not about no contact rule I don't believe in no
contact role I think it's a huge game and it's a gamble that you play with your heart and the
other person's heart by going no contact I think at some point there will be contact if they don't
contact you first or eventually I have a process that I do with my clients if three months have
gone by and you have not heard from your person there's very particular steps to take so the
first one is don't send emails don't send text work on your life develop your life get out in
nature get a new hobby make new friends pick up where you left off with all your friends that
you dropped once your relationship really started going so get your life going again start feeling
good about yourself without that person in your life that's the most important thing you can do
during the break-up now one thing that you should do is and this is about the relationship is if
you have access to Instagram or Facebook I don't want you looking at their page I don't want you
to take your energy and put it all over their Facebook page or their Twitter feed it scares
you it'll stimulate you it's a bad thing to be snooping into their life they've broken up or
you've broken up and you need this time apart but what I do suggest using Instagram and Facebook is
that is a good chance you're going to come up in their feet it's a good chance that they're going
to get curious about you and look at your Facebook page so I want you every couple of days not every
day not every five minutes filling it up with wonderful things you're doing so I don't want
you to go overboard on this but if you can think of something that you shared with this person that
will make them have a memory of how wonderful the relationship was this is what you want to put on
your Facebook page or your Instagram you want to put a photo of doing the same thing visiting the
same park you once visited together or eating at the same restaurant and how much you love the food
there and how wonderful it makes you feel you do not want to put a facebook update that says well
I'm at the park today and I feel really bad life is really cruel sometimes you don't want to do
that and also avoid all those motivational updates that can sometimes be sour grapes you want to show
your partner that of course you're upset that they're no longer in your life but your movie
you're bravely and boldly moving on that you are a strong confident powerful independent woman and
that's what I want to help you become I want to help you foster that you already are that just
somewhere in this process you've forgotten it so I get you back to that place and that makes you
highly desirable to the man highly desirable to your partner so I hope that these tips helped you
to reconnect with the person that you love that you've experienced a breakup with and if you want
to know more I want you to reach out shoot me an email I'm at Everhart coaching at gmail.com
also visit my website it's Everhart coaching com now I have a great free book on my website that
talks about how you can use Tate texts Facebook Instagram and email to really connect to another
person with warmth and your feelings and letting them know you're available and also letting them
know how rich and full and juicy your life is these are all very attractive qualities to a man
so please do find me on that everheartcoaching.com and I hope to hear from you soon take care