Being romantically associated with a narcissist is difficult and tiring, but leaving them can also cause chaos.
Breakups are always difficult, but theyre even more difficult when you've been in a relationship with someone who exploits people and is consumed with themselves.
Today we are going to discuss how to get over a break up with a narcissist.
We recommend you stick with us until the end, since the last point will hopefully change your life.
Step 1: Recognize and accept that you were abused.
To get through all those dysfunctional trials with your narcissist, to keep the peace and justify staying with them, you had to make excuses for their behavior, minimize their abuse, reinterpret their lies, and tiptoe around their self-delusions.
When you miss them now - and you will - you're going to start rationalizing again, thinking, "Oh, they're not so bad."
Don't fall for it.
Remind yourself over and over why you let yourself get manipulated by your narcissistic ex.
If not, you might end up dating them again.
The best way to do this is to maintain zero contact.
Don't call or text, and block them on social media.
There's a reason the no contact rule is advice given by most experts.
Step 2: Be ready for a rollercoaster of emotions.
Grief is a long and delicate process that comes and goes, sometimes for years, in the mending of the human heart.
Spend some time honoring your grief by looking underneath your anger for the sadness.
Recognize the process of inviting yourself back home as you comfort yourself.
Feel glad for the emotions you've had to hold in for years, even if they've been tough.
They can finally come out now that you're with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are - yourself!
Step 3: Reclaim your individuality.
Expand your world to reclaim your identity by recovering emotional stability, resuming lost interests, and reconnecting with loved ones.
Be open about your wants.
Remind yourself that it's fine to talk to your partner about your feelings, wants, and desires.
Please remember that you are deserving of good treatment and to set clear limits for undesired behavior.
Self-compassion is a good thing to practice.
You probably feel terrible that you let yourself be deceived for so long, now that you can clearly see your ex for the narcissist they were and see how damaging the patterns were that you engaged in for so long.
You might be perplexed as to how you could be so "naive", "dumb", or "gullible".
When you're with family or friends who were tuned in long before you were, you can feel particularly guilty.
Allow yourself a break.
You're only human, and narcissists are masters at seduction.
If you're in a better position, you can look into your codependency and self-esteem issues, but, for now, simply forgive yourself.
It's important to remember that your naivety is a positive thing.
It suggests you have a trusting and open heart, something a narcissist lacks.
Step 4: Recognize that your emotions may linger.
Look after yourself.
One of the narcissist's methods is to knock others down in order to elevate themselves.
You're unlikely to have received any compliments, support, or gratitude once the seduction period ended.
You may have also been subjected to verbal abuse.
Because narcissists want you to be insecure, feeling confident in yourself is a foreign concept to you right now.
As a result of being gaslighted for so long, you may have lost faith in your own judgment.
What's the best place to start recovering from all of this?
Therapy, self-help programs, and support groups may all help you focus on self-love, which is what you need to do to rebuild your self-esteem after a breakup.
Find a regular meetup with a group of people who are interested in the same type of personal development as you are.
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Step 5: Talk to other people.
Talking to supportive friends and family members might help you feel less alone.
But other individuals in your life may not give much (or any) support.
Your close friends and family members who show compassion validate the suffering you're going through and distract you or provide companionship on bad days, reminding you the abuse wasn't your fault.
Some family members may sympathize with the abusive person.
An abusive ex may have the support of mutual friends.
This can lead to a lot of misunderstanding and hurt.
As you attempt to rehabilitate, it's generally beneficial to put limits around your time with these folks.
You could, for example, ask them not to name your ex when they are in the room with you, or to refrain from discussing their thoughts on the matter with you.
Consider reducing your time with them if they don't respect such boundaries.
Support groups also provide you the chance to speak up about the abuse you've suffered.
You can share your story with others who are also trying to heal in a support group.
Step 6: Get professional help.
If it was difficult for you to leave the person who was abusing you, or if you are thinking about giving them another chance, a therapist may help you understand why you are feeling this way and establish a plan to prevent making unhelpful decisions in the future.
A therapist can also help you with: acquiring new coping abilities, informing others about the abuse, combating suicidal or self-harming ideas, overcoming temptations to contact the abusive person, and dealing with despair, anxiety, and other mental health concerns.
Therapy can also help you understand the underlying issues that make you more sensitive to abuse patterns.
Therapy provides a safe environment in which a qualified, compassionate professional can assist you in exploring and understanding the jumble of feelings you're trying to sort through.
You can recover, although it may take some time.
As you begin your journey, a therapist can help you feel more supported.
Step 7: Recall your exs narcissistic characteristics.
It is critical to remember that you were in a relationship with someone who was incapable of being a good partner.
They're not just a little conceited or self-assured.
They could have a personality issue that can be diagnosed.
They exaggerate their own self-importance.
They're obsessed with illusions of limitless success, intelligence, power, beauty, and perfect love.
They assume that only elite or high-status people can comprehend them since they are distinctive and unique.
They require a lot of admiration.
Narcissists engage in predatory interpersonal conduct.
They are devoid of empathy.
They are envious of others and believe that others are envious of them.
They have haughty attitudes or actions.
At least five of these nine characteristics are present in someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
Also, they require frequent praise and admiration.
They make you feel unappreciated, unvalidated, and unaccepted.
They don't have any long-term friendships.
They are continuously criticizing you.
Step 8: Don't believe them when they say they will change.
When they fear you're ready to leave them, narcissists make a lot of promises.
They're great at building up your hopes, only to squander them if you stay.
They'll declare they've realized the error of their ways and are now devoted to treating you better.
Unfortunately, their altruistic offers are nothing more than a facade to obtain what they desire.
If you made the decision to quit, kudos to you.
It's a difficult thing to do.
They are likely to put up a struggle of epic proportions since they aren't finished with you yet.
Narcissists despise losing their source of energy so don't expect them to let you go quickly.
Expect them to say they'll change.
They might start doing things for you that you've been asking them to do all of a sudden.
"You'll be lost without me," they might say, or "you'll never find someone like me."
Do not listen.
It's all a ruse to get you to return to them because they're afraid.
Discontinue all communication with them.
Narcissistic relationships can never be totally healthy.
And, as long as you give them a place in your current life, you're unlikely to have a healthy connection.
They'll continue to make your life miserable as long as you let them because they're so focused on their own need to have you, control you, and keep you.
So, if at all possible, avoid going anywhere where they might be.
Please don't call them unless it's for a legitimate reason.
You can also block them on social media.
No contact means precisely what it sounds like: no contact at all.
This includes blocking their phone number, ensuring that any emails sent from their address end up in your spam folder, and erasing them from social media.
Although difficult, it is the best option because the narcissist will find a way to return sooner or later.
If you shut off their supply, the narcissist will try to contact you, and they'll know exactly what to say to get you to return.
As a result, you must be tough and quick.
It's also a good idea to break up with them via text so they can't manipulate you anymore.
If you leave something at the narcissist's house, you should just leave it and let it go.
Consider it a small price to pay for your own mental health and happiness.
Step 9: Establish boundaries.
Narcissists are masters at intruding into every part of your personal life, including your most personal thoughts.
You need to guard yourself against similar connections now that you've gotten yourself out of that circumstance.
This entails establishing clear guidelines for what you consider acceptable in a relationship.
Then make sure no one crosses those lines.
You will be abused if you set limits against a narcissist.
Your boundaries will be interpreted in a negative way by them.
You will face severe repercussions if you declare your independence.
In essence, you're fighting for your own survival.
You will have to surrender your personal identity in order to avoid these consequences from your companion, which is both unacceptable and harmful.
You must be strong and steadfast in order to resist the vengeance you will face as a result of setting solid boundaries with the narcissist.
Never, ever give up on yourself.
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