one of the saddest things that I see is how people suffer from fear of
attempting what it is that they really want to do this especially is true when
people have a passion or just something that a strong desire something they're
really interested in and they won't do it they won't happen to that potential
because they're afraid to and and it's really sad to see how much fear limits
people so if you want to learn more about how to overcome that limitation of
fear I have failed I've succeeded a lot but I've also failed so many times and I
also coach people who they're coming out of a failure or they want to know how to
replicate more success so if you want to know more about how to do this keep
watching
hey this is Damon Cart from life mastery gym bringing you cutting-edge processes
and techniques and mindsets to help you master yourself so that you can master
your life and create the life of your dreams so if that sounds good to you
please click subscribe to this YouTube channel so you can get these videos on a
regular basis so how do you overcome fear of failure well the quick answer to
that is to reframe it what do I mean by reframing I'm going to get more into
this in a moment fear is not a bad thing necessarily what
happens though is fear becomes too much in your life fear overwhelms us
sometimes we serve it rather than the fear serving us and what we want to do
is we want to put the fear that we experience into the context of it
serving us rather than us serving it if you're not doing something because
you're afraid to do it and I don't mean anything like super risky like jumping
off of a building or some of the crazy stuff you see on YouTube I'm not talking
about any of that stuff I'm talking about taking risk like starting your own
business and I doesn't even have to do with business maybe it's for men a lot
of times just asking that woman out who you've been afraid to ask out and even
women I really encourage women to ask them out it's so cool when that happens
and so you may want to talk to somebody and you're crippled by fear and you just
won't do it or you hate your job and you want to go get another job or you want
to go back to school or you want to start your own business and fear is
stopping you from doing this so how do you how do you deal with this what do
you what do you do with it don't want to get rid of fear because fear tells you
it's a good alarm system it alerts you to something that might be dangerous
something that might harm you or if it is going into some sort of new venture
that you want to attempt or you want to try
then fear sort of raises an alarm it says look into what it is that you're
doing before you do it just to make sure that you're not putting yourself in any
sort of trouble so that's where fear is very helpful so we don't want to shun
fear we don't want to push it away because the more we push it away the
more we shove it down into the dark recesses of our unconscious the more it
controls us and it controls us usually in
rational ways we start to come up with the irrational fears we're like I was
talking about just walking up to a woman and talking to her because you're
interested in her no there's no physical harm that can come to you as long as
you're being nice now if you're you know if you're a jerk about it and then her
boyfriend happens to be there now you're talking about some possible risk
dangerous risk but considering that you're normally well-adapted social
being there's no harm or risk just walking up to someone and introducing
yourself and talking to them but the more we don't explore with this fear is
and the more we shove it away the more it controls us and like I said in
irrational ways so the key here is to look at the fear and see well what is it
what is it trying to show me what is its positive intent behind the fear now
that's one way that automatically you start to reframe it as soon as you do
that it started as soon as you start to look at fear as something useful and
positive that's that's your first refrain so find that positive intent
what is fear helping you with what is it doing for you what is it with good
information is it trying to bring your attention to and so now you're you're
making friends with the fear you're not shoving it away
you're becoming conscious of it and you're accepting it as part of you
that's just trying to help you and this is extremely powerful a lot of times
this alone will put the fear in perspective and then allow you to move
forward and go forward and do what it is that you want to do now the other key to
this there's something I learned from watching a video of Maynard James Keenan
Keenan Maynard James Keenan he's the singer for the heavy metal band tool he
also has two other bands a perfect circle and plus a fur and he makes wine
in Arizona commercial wine not just like in his basement he actually is a
winemaker he also is a Brazilian Jujitsu artist he's a purple belt this guy goes
after everything nothing stops him and it's not because he's trying to feed his
ego it's because he sees possibilities and he goes out there and tries them and
he admits that he fails all the time and when I was watching this video a link
I'll see if I can link the video I was watching of him to this video as I
was watching these videos I was like wow it's so interesting to watch a guy who's
so successful admit that he has fears admit that he has failures because to us
a lot of times it looks like he just succeeds at everything but of course
nobody does and I go to trainings and summits all the time where I'm listening
to multimillionaires sometimes even billionaires talk about
their failures and their successes so this happens for all of us so the
difference between those people and pretty much everyone else is there they
don't let fear stop them and what how Maynard Keenan explained it is that when
he was in high school his father was a teacher and his wrestling coach so he
went to a school where his father taught and not only taught like subjects and in
the school he also taught him wrestling and he was a wrestling coach for the
team and he said when you win when you have a success you don't normally learn
that much from that you don't really learn that much from winning and
succeeding you learned something but not not a whole lot it feels good it's
wonderful to succeed it's wonderful to win but when you lose when you fail you
turn that into a win by looking at it as a learning if you walk away from a loss
a failure and we all have and that's one of the driving reasons that fear
cripples us is because we fear disappointment we fear failure because
we've had them we have reference experiences to back this up if we walk
away from that hurt and without learning from that experience that's where the
irrational fears are fed that's how we increase those irrational fears because
we haven't looked at what actually happened here we only stay in the
emotion of fear without learning anything however if we realize that when
we lost or we failed that there is something to be learned here and in
learning it then that increases our chances of succeeding
and winning next time now fear and loss or failure and loss doesn't seem like
failure and loss anymore because you've gotten something out of this that's the
whole idea when you win you get something when you lose or fail you also
get something if you're willing to explore it but a lot of people get so
hurt they just walk away and they don't want to explore it but now now that you
know this you you're not going to do that anymore what you're going to do is
any times you fail at something anytime something doesn't work out any time
there's a loss you're gonna step back in this you're going to say okay what can I
learn from this because there is no losing
there is only winning and learning make that your mantra there is only winning
and learning there is no failure there's only feedback then that's a NLP
presupposition failure is just feedback it is no fight there is no finality to
failure and losing you gather that information you look at and you say okay
what did I learn here and how can this be useful to me going forward even if I
never try that same thing again that information about whatever I learned
from that loss will will help me in so many other areas how does this how can I
map this across to other areas of my life that's what you want to look at any
time you fail or you lose and so it's a constant in motion progress you win or
you learn you win or you learn think about that too as far as the motion of
this you're always moving forward you might have a temporary setback you might
have a valley but then you're on your way back up to a new peak when you
reframe failure this way nothing will stop you nothing will ever stop you
again and like I said the saddest thing is to see so much untapped potential so
many people suffering because they want to do so many things they have these
passions they have these ideas they have these desires things that they want to
do and yet they won't because of something that happened in the past some
sort of failure or loss that happened in the in the past and they can't get over
that and they can't get over that feeling
that emotion because they're not they don't know how to reframe it they don't
know how to look at that as a learning experience you want to detach those
emotions you know it's not that you don't want to feel the emotion of fear
you you you allow yourself to feel that because again if you push that away it
will come back to haunt you so you allow the feeling of fear but then you reframe
and you say okay how do I learn from this how do I learn and move forward
from this just remember two emotions while they are important and you don't
want to push them away they don't tell you a whole lot of information about
what actually happened I get emotional sometimes in my business and my
assistant will come to me and say well you know the numbers say this they don't
have to go oh yeah I guess nothing's really changed the numbers don't lie so
make sure you're using a rational feedback system if you can apply math
especially if you're in a business if you can apply math and you're tracking
things then that'll bring that rationality back to you even when you're
in those high emotional states you can have lost big clients before and in
various businesses and I got upset about that but then when I looked at my
overall progression I would I was actually moving up still so are you
still moving forward that's that's the main key here are you still progressing
if you're not then you've got a problem but a lot of times that's us that's us
holding ourselves back because we're too emotional or we're too stuck in fear so
make fear serve you instead of you serving fear use the win or learn
reframe and I assure you things will become very very different in your life
you can find me every Saturday morning at 8 a.m. right here Pacific Standard
Time and we're going to talk more about this I'm going to go into more about
what it is what it means to win or learn and I'm going to answer your questions
as well so you'll want to tune into that and also and in order to make sure that
you know when these are coming up you'll want to subscribe if you haven't already
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training on what I go over here in my videos about how to master your life how
to build skills that become unconscious you don't have to think about them and
that they've become more of like an automation I have free trainings on my
website lifemasterygym.com make sure you go there and check those trainings
out now I'd like to hear from you if you have ever turned a failure or a loss
into a learning that really helped you just type yes right down here in the
comments and feel free to tell me more about it I love to hear about these
stories take care