- Let's go ahead.
Kristen from Denmark.
Hi, honey, hi.
- Hi. How are you?
- I'm well as far as I know,
but not knowing the future, you know,
that keeps me well now, so...
- Yeah, I guess so.
- So, read what you wrote.
- Yeah, um, I wrote:
Dear Brian,
I have a question about the changes you made in your life.
You loved your ex-husband, yet you left him.
And then I put a parenthesis in and I said,
"Or did he leave you?"
You've got to love everything as it is,
yet, still, you have made changes.
I get confused as I am happy, content,
and haven't had a problem for a long time.
I still feel a need to change my life.
What am I missing here?
How do I know when its time to make changes,
when you can always find a way to love what is?
And am I not being true to myself,
as I can feel also fear of change?
- Yeah
- I even felt fear as I was writing you.
- Yeah, well I love that you have a happy life.
That's a beautiful thing.
And, I've noticed in my life and time,
in this illusion of time,
that there's nothing I can do for, you know,
it's like life changes.
It changes.
As the mind changes, life changes.
So, you don't have to change it.
It's going to change.
In time we get older, or our house burns,
or we move, or our spouse dies, you know.
Life changes, so you don't ever have to worry about change,
it will change.
And if you're happy for where you are,
you'll just continue to be happy.
Evidently, you're a, you've got a, um, uh,
a very, whatever your mind is, you're content.
I hear from you.
So, but as far as, it's like, like, loving what is,
to go back to a portion of your question,
I didn't change my life when I was, um,
it's like, I lived a yes to my own heart's desire.
That's how it was with Paul.
It's like people were calling,
and I, all of a sudden,
even though in the world I was married to Paul,
I found another partner, and it was my heart.
And so I became only answerable to that.
And anything that would stop me from living out of that,
was fear.
So I questioned -
- Yes
- What I believed on those judge your neighbor worksheets,
and there was nothing to stop me from following my heart,
love is a fearless state of mind.
So, I didn't change my life,
I lived a yes to my own hearts desire,
and I became married to that.
I had no reason, other than that yes,
to leave an amazing life with my husband.
As I continued to travel, that became too much for him.
And me rarely, very rarely, being home
and so, he, it became too much for him,
and he, beyond me, began to naturally,
make another life for himself,
and I'm very grateful for that.
It's what we do, you know, we...
He just did the right thing and I did the right thing.
And as a result of that, it was so beautiful,
he , he um, he had a most amazing life,
and he got to spend time with my grandchildren
that I didn't get to spend.
But, they didn't say, "Grandma, would you stay with me?",
you know, and other people would say, "I need help."
Anyway, following my heart,
so it was like that, sweetheart.
And it was change, something happened inside,
and, love is a fearless state of mind,
so, anything you're, any change you're afraid to make,
I would suggest a worksheet.
You put your fearful thoughts there, and,
and set yourself free to make change or not.
- Yeah, you're right, I should do that.
There is one thing, it's, it's just down to the small
everyday things I read in your book.
For example, one time when you were looking forward
to the snack you kept in the fridge.
And when you came home, your husband had eaten it.
And so you look at it,
it's a nice thing he got a joy out of it.
- Yeah.
- And still, you go to him and you say,
"Honey, next time, leave my snack alone."
And I was wondering, I stumble.
- Well, he will or he won't.
But it's like the caller before,
I can ask.
I'm not going to assume anything,
and I'm not going to fool myself
that, oh, I'm not spiritual if I say,
Leave my snack alone.
(laughter)
You know, there are, there is, there are no do's or don'ts.
This inquiry, for me, is about the end of suffering,
and, and, I can never make a claim to be free where
I'm not, and to me it's freedom to ask anything of anyone,
and then trust that they'll say yes or no.
- Yeah.
- And I, I, I love those. I love writing things like that,
because freedom isn't what we think it's going to look like.
It's just, it's just a natural flow of words,
and humor, and life that you're comfortable with.
And, always the recognition of, of
it's like I can afford to be happy.
I know that there is only,
this precious place of no past and no future.
So, the work give us that so solidly, eventually,
that we no longer have to guess.
It's, it's proven over and over and over and over.
It's always there.
It's always to be trusted.
It's unfailing and quiet.
- Yeah.
And as I trust, I also see in my mind how,
things will change eventually.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Yeah. Yeah.
So we don't even have to bring them about.
- No, that's my brain bringing them about.
- Yeah. Yes, Yes.
There's a lot of wisdom in that, a lot,
and a lot of peace.
- Thank you, very much, Katie.
- You're so welcome.
Thank you for your email, and your time with all of us.