I'm gonna be breaking it down for you,
right here in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
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Okay, so let's talk about
the five things that narcissists actually enjoy
like they're so sick, that normal people, healthy people don't enjoy.
In order to understand this, you have to understand one thing,
normal, healthy people are motivated by lots and lots of different things,
we can be motivated and incentivized by… Geez!
We have love for our children,
or we want to help homeless people,
or to do a good job at our work,
or we want to make money,
there may be a variety of things that we want to do,
we can be motivated and incentivized
by a lot of different things in our lives at the same time.
Narcissists are motivated by one thing, and one thing only
they are motivated by narcissistic supply, that's it.
It's like, if you think about a person who is drowning at that time
they're only going to be motivated by one thing,
they're going to be motivated by I need air,
I need to be able to breathe,
I need to get out of this pool or whatever it is and
that's kind of how they feel in a sense,
it's constant survival for them,
so that's why they, in a way,
they can't think about anybody else but themselves, and
that's why they kind of feel they have to push other people down
because it's like, let me step on someone’s head,
in order to get out of this pool, so that I can survive and
you kind of have to think of it sort of like that, in a way,
because somehow, many, many years ago when they were children,
they were traumatized or something happened to them
that made them believe that, in order for them to survive,
other people can't.
So they need this narcissistic supply,
they have no inner sense of value,
so they've got to layer on anything externally that they can
in order to try to grasp some sort of sense of value.
So that's what's really going on with them and
there are some hierarchies of narcissistic supply and
that's how we do create that leverage,
I mean, there is how they look and then,
there's what I call the dark underbelly of narcissistic supply,
which is devaluing people, making them squirm and
all those sorts of things.
So, what narcissists enjoy that other people don't necessarily enjoy is,
kind of like that hidden dark underbelly side,
because that hierarchy, that higher side of narcissistic supply,
one that's in view of the world, other people do probably enjoy,
which is, the adulation, looking good,
of course, everybody wants to look good,
everybody enjoys getting compliments,
everybody enjoys nice things in life,
so that hierarchy at high site that beside that's exposed to the world,
is probably, everybody enjoys those things.
It's nice to have a nice home,
but they need that stuff,
they need it to breathe,
It's their supply, it’s their food,
it's their oxygen, it's their lifeblood.
For a normal healthy person,
they don't need that stuff to breathe,
they don't need it, it's like nice to have a nice compliment,
it's nice to have those things,
but I don't need it in order to survive and that's the difference.
That's why the negotiations never end,
because they enjoy watching you squirm,
they enjoy that process of watching you be intimidated,
they like that.
Seeing you be hurt. They like that,
they like that pushing you down,
watching the flying monkeys line up on your side and
making you feel small,
they like that, because they feel small,
so they want to try to make you feel small,
they enjoy that.
Oh, let me let me create an event and
everybody's going to be invited and you're not,
they like that.
I mean, it's a horrible thing, normal people would never want to do that,
would never want to hurt somebody else.
When I was dealing with narcissists in my life,
I remember how many times out of my mouth did I say
“Oh my God, I would never do that,
I would never even think of doing something like that”,
I remember saying that so many times,
but narcissists do those kinds of things on a regular basis to hurt people.
One of the things that I found that narcissists also like to do,
That's also a really sick thing,
like, let me hurt you so that then I can like be there for you.
That's a really, really weird thing.
I've noticed that in some of the relationships that I've observed,
when I was representing people in their divorces,
even physically sometimes, where people would be abusive and
then they actually got to be the one to comfort that person and
then be needed by that person,
that's a really sick cycle of abuse right there, very sick and
if you are in an abusive relationship,
please, please, please reach out,
please go to the nearest shelter,
call the domestic abuse hotline, please.
That's number three.
Setting you up.
They love to see if you're going to be like,
testing you to see if you're going to be a good victim.
I have a whole video on that,
“How narcissists test you to see if you're going to be a good victim”.
You should definitely check out my video on that,
How narcissists test you.
I mean, they're so sick.
So, that's the next one.
Then the last one is, once you've walked away, and
you finally gotten away, you finally made it,
you finally, like, escaped,
They enjoy the fact that they can like,
“Boom!” like little DM into your little in box over there and
Can they hook you? Can they bait you back?
Do they still have control over you?
Can they get you to come back into into the lair?
“Oh, by the way, heard our song”
“Did you see this?” or “Oh, you look good”,
whatever, to see if you're still going to be a form of supply for them.
So, they enjoy having control over you,
they enjoy having power over you,
they enjoy having you be a source of supply for them,
That's the bottom line.
That's something that narcissists enjoy that normal healthy people don't.
They enjoy all of those things and it's super sick,
but they're not mentally healthy people and
that's the bottom line.
So, if you're negotiating with them,
you can't think of them as mentally healthy people and
you can't interact with them in that way,
you have to come at them and
come to the negotiation from a different perspective.
How you do that?
You start with my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Free e-book, 15 pages,
you definitely do not want to walk into negotiation without that,
so go grab it right now and
join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung” and
make sure you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share,
Drop me that comment, write “So sick” and
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I'm the only lawyer that really, seriously, gives free talk, free resources
hours of content on exactly how to negotiate
with a narcissist in a powerful way.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm so glad that you stopped by this channel.
Remember today's a great day to start negotiating your best life,
I will definitely see you in the next video!