[The Wonders Of Light By Snow Dept.]
♪ The wonders of light got the prettiest sight ♪
♪ for everyone to enjoy ♪
- Well, hi.
Hello.
So,
today has been
a very weird day.
You know how there are just some days,
when you wake up and you get out of bed,
and you feel like you've got out of the wrong bed,
and into the wrong room,
and everything is wrong.
Well that wasn't my day, my day was fine.
But I went to wake up Claudia, who was like,
"I hate today, I hate life, I hate everything."
I was like, "Good! Good start, good start."
So it is two days until what would have been
Claudia's mother's birthday
and so it's always a very difficult time of year.
This-
This kind of-
This week is quite hard for her, understandably.
But she tends to take it out on
everything around her,
and decides she dislikes everything,
but really it's just one thing.
Anyway, I said, "What would make you feel better?"
And she said, "Digging a hole."
So,
she's digging a hole.
Hello.
And yesterday I asked what would make her feel better,
and she said, "A granddad jumper," so.
She now has a granddad jumper.
And the dogs are being incredibly annoying.
So we took the dogs for a walk.
(car door shuts)
Ah!
- And I got myself.
- Way! - It was two for one pound.
Well, I bought one and then she was like,
"It's two for one pound!"
I was like, "Okay!"
[The Wonders Of Light By Snow Dept.]
♪ Oh it's such a charm ♪
♪ Got you up in my arm ♪
- And then we went to the garden center.
Which, you know, place of dreams.
♪ Will never be over ♪
- Normally love the garden center.
But we were there specifically to buy a spade, so.
♪ It's time to get out in the snow ♪
(Jessica laughs)
- That's new to me.
I'm not necessarily a spade shopper normally.
♪ Choirs will sing, and the joy bells will ring ♪
♪ Nobody loves you as much as I do ♪
- And we've been decorating the house
and just sort of putting lights up places.
♪ The ceiling, it is that time ♪
- And I even got to decorate lights
round a bush that I really like.
♪ Drinking hot wine by the fire ♪
♪ Here on our own we've got nothing to fear ♪
- Now I'm just going to take Claudia some tea.
In the garden.
While she digs a hole.
(beep)
(water boiling)
(gentle electronic chime)
- Yeah, I did just pour milk everywhere.
I told you it's one of those days.
(distant bird call)
- Thank you.
- [Jessica] How's your digging?
- Quite hard.
It's very sold clay,
but that's the whole point of it, mixing it up a bit.
Because it's not good enough
to grow plants and stuff in yet.
- [Jessica] Is the digging making you feel better?
- Yeah, and look.
I cleaned out leaves with the rake.
- [Jessica] Ooh.
- We were supposed to go to London today,
to see a play called "The Lost Thing."
It's supposed to be really good.
Royal Oprah house, very fancy.
Has a disabled cast and everything.
But I just felt too delicate
and like I couldn't cope.
And so yesterday I just cried to Claudia
and was like, "I cannot. I can't."
And I know it's really ...
"Woo, we should go support it,"
and also, "Woo, content."
But, um,
no. (laughs)
Probably better to put my health first.
So, I instead went to the corner shop,
exciting,
and bought myself
... attempts to find it ...
Lemsip.
The thing that keeps me going throughout winter
'cause I really need it.
And Yorkshire tea.
Gold.
Because it's the only tea that Claudia drinks
and shockingly, we're out.
But she's decided she's fancy now,
so she drinks Yorkshire tea ... Gold.
I just watched that back and it's
the shakiest thing ever
and I really apologize.
It's just not -
It's just, it's just,
just not my day.
I'm just not feeling well.
(laughs)
And then feeling unwell makes me feel ...
Feeling unwell makes me feel very
emotionally vulnerable.
I guess that's not unexpected?
Um, it ju-
I don't know.
Even try- I can't even explain my feelings.
Just need a Lemsip.
(laughs)
I just want to stop sniffing,
and also feeling awful.
My lungs feel disgusting.
I think I get scared as well,
which doesn't help.
Because I just went through so many winters
getting bronchitis over and over and over again.
Got pneumonia once too, that was fun.
(clicks tongue)
Um, but then I had the pneumonia jab,
which lasts ten years
and has now run out, I'm pretty sure.
And I had talked to a GP about it
and he said that I'm not in risk of pneumonia, so
apparently I don't need one.
And I'm like, "Well, I do, because, I still do."
Because my intercostal muscles,
which are the muscles in between your ribs,
mine wasted away when I-
Hello, darling.
Hi.
You're coming for cuddle?
Come on then.
All right.
Hmm. (laughs)
Hey.
You come to cheer me up?
Mine wasted away when I was
on bed rest for
two years.
As you could expect.
'Cause I wasn't doing a lot of breathing.
And they've never really, properly grown back?
Grown stronger again, I suppose.
So I find things like coughing quite difficult,
sometimes.
If I need to clear my airways,
I have to get someone to smack me on the back.
And whenever I get ill,
if I get a cold or something,
it tends to go into my lungs.
Which isn't good.
And because the doctor wouldn't give me
the pneumonia jab, I'm also terrified
that I'm gonna get pneumonia.
(sighs)
But it's fine, isn't it, Tills?
It's fine.
I'm in like the best health I've been in ten years.
So I should calm down, shouldn't I?
Also I have disgusting nails
and I feel really embarrassed about them.
And they're only disgusting
because I'm not giving myself the time
to sit down and paint them.
I'm instead letting them like
chip off, one nail at a time,
and then I just paint that one nail.
Like, it's fine, it's fine.
It's a botch job.
It's not fine.
But I pretend it's fine.
All right.
Pull myself together.
♪ It's Christmas ♪
♪ And some kind of love, my friend ♪
♪ Pick up some candy canes ♪
♪ And hang a wreath on your door ♪
(Jessica laughs)
- Feeling better now?
- Yeah.
Dug my holes.
Mm.
(Jessica laughs)
- Is that actually nice?
- Mm.
- So today we've both been a bit funny.
- Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,
as they say.
- Yes, I think that's fair to say.
- "I just want dig a hole!"
But then I thought, but also I was digging the holes.
I mean I wasn't just digging holes,
I was turning over the soil.
Ready for springtime and planting new bulbs
and flowers can come through.
Because at the moment it's really clay-y.
- Mm-hmm.
- I even actually bought a,
a Ph, moisture-
and light, like, - Yes.
thermometer thing.
It's not a thermometer, I don't know what you call it.
But it's a "-mometer" for those other three things.
Anyway. - Meter?
Just some type of meter, yeah.
(Jessica and Claudia laugh)
A "-mometer."
I just realized that
it's not just "therm," it's "thermo."
Idiot.
Anyway.
And I think, I'm pretty sure we learned
in primary school all the different names
for the different types of meters as well.
Photometer is light.
Anyway, I diverge.
- So you were digging in the garden.
- Mm. So I was digging in the garden,
like putting my fork in,
and putting my spade in.
- Angrily.
- And then,
and then I realized, like, actually I probably
woke up in a bit of a mood because
it's like two days till my mom's birthday
and I think I just always get a bit funny
around this time of year.
And I just felt like, a lot of sadness in me.
But then, like rather than,
I don't, like,
I'm not very good at like
realizing my emotions always.
So then,
when I feel a lot of emotions, it comes out,
which are negative like sadness,
it comes out as anger and frustration.
- Yeah. - Doesn't it?
- It does.
- Yeah, I get that from my dad.
(Jessica laughs)
- Yeah.
- But anyway.
But then I thought, you know,
actually then I started feeling positive
because I was like,
the reason I wanted to like kind of
dig a hole,
or like turn over the soil, - Mm-hmm.
was 'cause it was kind of like,
in winter time the garden's sleeping
but you just gotta get it sort of ready
for springtime, when it's gonna wake up
and come to life again.
And it's like about the cycle of life
and just rejuvenation and it just felt like
new beginnings.
- I like your new obsession.
- My gardening obsession?
- Yes.
- Yes. - It's a good one.
- [Claudia] I look adorable, don't I, dressed up as a little
- [Jessica] You do as a little grandpa!
Someone commented on a video,
like two weeks ago,
"Is it weird that Claudia reminds me of my granddad?"
And I replied,
"No, she reminds me of mine."
- Jessica often says like,
"Aww, you remind me so much of my grandpa."
(Jessica laughs)
- Well, you do.
My papa.
- I think it's going to be like,
it's a nice lifetime hobby.
- Yes. - And now that we're like
homeowners of a nice garden with
reasonable size, where you can just-
- A garden. Stomp around and do bits.
I used to actually, when I was really young,
I liked wearing what I kinda wore today.
Like big wooly fleeces,
and like - Yeah.
some old jeans, and some walking boots.
So I'd stomp around the garden and like
with sticks (Jessica laughs)
and poke at things and look for like
insects
and you know, like- - Yeah, yeah.
- I was sort of like an outdoorsy kind of girl like that.
And then I got older, and I felt like
it's not cool to be that kind of person.
You know? - Hmm.
A rambler.
So,
so then I kind of looked into getting into
the hobbies of like you know,
listening to cool music.
You know that, doing that annoying thing at school
where people are like,
"I heard of that band first, actually,
like, so old news."
(laughs)
And you're like, "Do you know," like
and it would be like a weird test, wouldn't it be?
"Have you heard of like so-and-so?"
And it would be like the most obscure,
weirdest name anywhere, of like ever.
And you'd be like, "Yeah. Obviously."
And then someone would be like,
"Pfft! I totally just made that band up."
Did the people do that to you?
- I never cared.
I'm sure that happened, and I just didn't care.
- Well in hindsight it's kind of a form of
bullying, isn't it?
(Jessica and Claudia laugh)
- No, I mean I didn't really care about
other people's opinions.
- Yeah. And then - I just liked
what I liked. - Anyway.
And then, you know, and I was like,
"Oh, I should do like cool hobbies,
like go to gigs, listen to bands.
Take photos."
I still- - I didn't just make a face
at the whole idea of music.
Obviously if you like music, that's good.
- Yeah.
- I just made a face at the idea of following a crowd
when it's not the thing - I mean
that you are particularly - People who listen to
music and go - passionate about.
- People who listen to music and go to gigs
are kinda cool.
- Yeah.
- Not always, but, you know,
it's just their, it's their gig. (laughs)
Excuse the pun.
(Jessica laughs)
Have you only just?
Oh, my God.
That was a nice delay, darling.
- I have a learning disability.
- Also you're deaf. (Jessica laughs)
So you couldn't always hear what,
you can't always hear what I said.
It takes a while for you to like process it.
But anyway, as I've got older, I've just felt
more comfortable with doing what I wanna do.
And if that's getting my dirty boots on,
and my old jeans and my green oversize jumper and jelly,
and then like pulling at some weeds,
then I'll do that.
- Yes.
- And actually, maybe it helps that you find it
quite attractive. (laughs)
- I do find it very attractive, I do.
But I think what I find most attractive is just
that you're happy and confident in what you're doing.
- Mm.
That is more attractive.
- It's a lot more attractive than someone who's
trying to be something else,
do something else. - Yeah, exactly, that's like
the point I was making. - Be cool, follow a crowd
It's very unattractive, I think.
- Pretend they know the names of bands.
- That's just me, though.
I know.
I've been on dates where people try and impress me
with their music knowledge, and I'm just. (clicks tongue)
- I mean that was a long time ago, I think.
- Huh?
- Not that we went on dates.
That was a bit it was (mumbles).
But, it was quite like a,
what was it, like a sixth form,
like slash early
university years, I think?
- Oh, you're saying that no one we know now
cares about bands and
listens to obscure music - Yeah, but they don't
and is like, "Ugh, that mainstream singer, ugh!"
- Yeah, but they don't test us on it.
Maybe 'cause they know that we just don't care anymore.
(Jessica laughs)
- Maybe. Yeah.
- If anyone makes a pop culture kind of reference
or joke, I'm just like, "Psh, just going over me."
- Ask Claudia to list three TV shows that
came out in the last five years.
- That's ridiculous.
Of course I can do that.
- Oh.
- I was about to say "The Crown."
That's not even a TV show, (Jessica laughs)
that was on Netflix.
Okay.
(Jessica and Claudia laugh)
- You couldn't name a person who became famous
in the last year.
- In the last year?
- Mm.
- Mm ...
No, not really, because I just don't follow any of that.
I just don't follow anything like that.
And if- - It's funny.
And like by the time I've actually caught on
that they're famous, they've been around
for like ten years.
(Jessica laughs)
Like the Kardashians.
- Could you name the Kardashians?
- Jenna?
(Jessica laughs)
- Even I know that's wrong! - Kyle.
- Keep going.
- Ah ... - No wait, okay.
There's a really tall- - Kim.
- Yeah, there's that one.
What's your favorite type of tea?
- Oh, yes.
I am particularly fond of Yorkshire.
And I used to just drink, you know, Yorkshire tea
for hard water.
When I lived in London - Yes.
in particular.
And now I drink Yorkshire Gold blend.
Which is their like finer leaf collection.
It's actually a blend of three different
types of tea.
(Jessica laughs)
None of which grow in Yorkshire.
- Oh.
- But, you know.
I don't know what qualifies it as Yorkshire tea.
- It's for people from Yorkshire?
What would you like to change in the next year?
What would make you feel good?
- I'd really like to get rid of this sofa.
- I love this sofa.
- We've had this, this is my grandma's old sofa.
And it's, I think it's a highly flammable.
- So just the sofa.
(Claudia laughs)
That's all of your hopes and dreams for 2020, huh?
- A baby.
Or at least getting pregnant. - I really want-
I mean, we're pushing it a bit to have a baby in 2020,
'cause it's,
it's now December. - December.
- Well, it could happen.
- It could.
- I mean, yeah.
- We're gonna do an extension.
- Yes.
- And make our kitchen look like how we want it to look.
- Yes. Currently, like, I love our house,
but it makes me feel a little funny
because it doesn't look how I want it to look
and I know I just have to wait.
And then we can do that.
Still, like having - It's all right. We've got-
just wires that hang from the wall.
- We've got planning commission.
- Yeah.
Plugs in weird places.
Why is there a plug
halfway up the wall? - It's gonna happen
and ideally, really, we should have
all the building work done before baby.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause we don't want to be these people
that are on those TV programs all the time
that are like,
"We need to find a house - "Why is there-
'cause I'm gonna have a baby in a month."
And they're like, "Right, okay."
Or they're like, "Yeah, we've decided to like
do an extension of our entire house
and knock half of it down - Yeah, Grand Designs.
but I'm gonna have a baby in six weeks!"
- "We're gonna build a house. It'll be fine!"
- It's like why-
- "We'll just live in this tiny caravan
with our five kids and
oh, the sixth
one's coming." - Why do they always
have a baby
when they plan to do like building work?
- They just don't think it through.
Let's get building! - I mean, this is coming,
this is gonna come back eat us on the ass, isn't it?
(Jessica laughs)
'Cause like, we're gonna get-
- Yes, do return to Vlogmas next year,
when we'll be living in a building site,
with a small child.
- Or just me with a ginormous bump (Jessica laughs)
and like just rubble everywhere and my face-
- Oh my God.
Imagine Vlogmas next year, - You think of me this morning
being grumpy - every single
- Oh, Jesus. - Think of me then.
I'll be like - You're gonna be the
worst pregnant lady.
(Claudia growls)
This morning, Jessica was down stairs
and she told me last night she was gonna let me
have a lie in, and I was like, "Aw, that's nice,"
'cause you wanted to like go on and do
her morning stuff.
It's like the only time of day we have like
separate time, I mean it's a bit unfair
because I don't have any - It's not really
"separate time," 'cause you're asleep.
- I know, exactly!
It's a bit unfair, I have no separate time.
I'm like asleep and then when I wake up
you're like, "Hello!"
So wonder I'm in a bad mood,
I'm just like no getting away from you.
I joke.
(Jessica laughs)
Anyway.
Oh, yeah. - You came down today.
So, I woke up, it was like quarter to,
no, it was like half nine.
Pretty late for me.
And then I was like, ugh,
really gasping for a cup of tea.
Like, ugh.
And often I will just text you, won't I?
- Normally.
Most mornings. - Yeah, I don't know,
I think I just really wanted it, really fast.
- I see.
- And (laughs) I was so thirsty for a cup of tea.
Anyway, I got up, drew the curtains, and,
and also I was a bit annoyed that I'd slept till
like, you'd let me sleep till 9:30,
'cause I was like, "Like half the day has gone!"
Anyway, as I said,
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. (laughs)
Everything was wrong.
I went downstairs, and you were like,
"Hi, darling."
And I'm like (growls).
I put the kettle on, had like a stomp
about like, "Why was that bag in the hallway?
What's this doing here?"
Oh, I was in a bad mood.
(Jessica laughs)
I think we should have some time apart. (laughs)
- Okay. - That's another thing
for the new year, maybe.
- Spending time apart?
Delightful.
What kind of time apart would you like?
- I'll just go dig some more holes.
- Sure. (laughs)
Gonna be great.
- Love you.
I'm sorry.
- I love you too. (laughs)
♪ It's Christmas ♪
♪ And some kind of ♪
(phone falls)
(door thuds)
- Ow!
Fuck. (laughs)
- Oh, shit. (laughs)
You just slam your own foot in the door?
- (laughing) Yeah.
♪ It's just you and me tonight ♪
♪ I'll spend all this Christmas with you ♪