>>HEY THERE TOM!
>>OH, HEY PHIL!
>>YOU SEE THAT SNOWSTORM EARLIER TODAY!
>>YEAH, CRAZY.
>>WITH THE BLACK ICE AND WHAT NOT,
YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFUL.
>>VERY DANGEROUS.
>>YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
YOU GOT A GUY TIED UP IN YOUR YARD THERE.
>>YOU SAW THAT?
>>YEAH, SURE DID.
>>THERE IS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR THIS.
>>IS IT THAT YOU'VE GOT HIM TIED UP TO HOLD HIM FOR RANSOM
TO HELP MAKE PAYMENTS ON THE BMW YOU BOUGHT
EARLIER LAST MONTH TOM?
>>YES, THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
THAT'S SURPRISINGLY SPECIFIC.
>>WELL, YOU KNOW, I JUST SAW THE CAR PARKED THERE
AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DO FOR A JOB SO I JUST PUT
TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE.
WOW, YOU'VE GOT HIM
TIED UP GOOD HERE TOM.
IS THAT FRANK WILKINS FROM TWO DOORS OVER?
>>YEAH IT IS.
>>HIS WIFE IS NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS,
DON'TCHA KNOW.
>>SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
>>WELL, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD
CALL THE AUTHORITIES.
>>NO! DON'T DO THAT!
LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS.
WHAT IF I WERE TO CUT YOU IN?
>>GEE, THAT'S AWFULLY GENEROUS OF YOU,
BUT I DON'T-- [SCREECH]
>>PHIL, WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?
>>I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO!
HE JUST SCARED THE HECK-FIRE OUT OF ME.
>>MAN, YOU REALLY GOT HIM GOOD.
>>YEAH, DID I?
WELL GEE, I'M SO SORRY.
>>DON'T APOLOGIZE TO ME.
>>YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GOING TO
GO CALL THE COPS.
YOU CAN'T BE DOING STUFF LIKE THIS.
>>NOW HANG ON, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
JUST HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A FLASHLIGHT.
>>YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T-
>>WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THAT?
>>I'M SORRY!
I WAS JUST AFRAID IF HE SAW MY FACE HE WOULD THINK I WAS
AN ACCESSORY OR SOMETHING.
>>WELL YOU KIND OF ARE NOW!
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THIS.
JUST HELP ME GET HIM BACK TO HIS YARD BEFORE
HE GETS HURT ANYMORE.
>>OKAY.
>>HEY TOM!
HI, SORRY.
SOMEONE SPILLED SODA ON THE CARPET AND SO WE WERE
WONDERING WHERE ALL YOUR CLEANING SUPPLIES WERE?
>>PHIL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>>HE SAW TOO MUCH.
HE WAS GOING TO RAT ON US.
>>WHO ARE YOU?
>>WHO IS HE?
>>HE'S MY BROTHER!
MY WHOLE FAMILY'S IN TOWN FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
>>OKAY.
WELL I SHOULD GET GOING.
I JUST- >>WE CLEANED UP THE SODA,
SO...
WHAT THE BLAZES?
[GRUNTS]
>>WHY?
>>HE WAS ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
>>PHIL! ARE YOU INSANE?
THE MAN IS A THOUSAND YEARS OLD!
>>SHOOT DARN IT ALL!
YOU KNOW MAYBE WE COULD GET SOME GAUZE AND CLEAN THIS-
>>HEY TOM!
>>PHIL!
MY FAMILY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE HEAD TRAUMA!
>>I'M SORRY!
IT JUST COMES OVER ME!
WHY DO YOU HAVE THE BUSIEST BACKYARD IN THE
HISTORY OF KIDNAPPING?
>>JUST GO!
>>OKAY.
NIGHT, TOM!
>>GOOD NIGHT.
>>TOM HONEY!
ARE YOU BACK HERE?
TOM, TOM?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?
>>HONEY, I PROMISE YOU,
EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE OKAY.
THE TERROR IS OVER NOW, IT HAS PASSED.
>>TERROR?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
>>OKAY, TIME TO GO TO SLEEP.
>>PHIL!
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
>>YOU'RE ON A SLIPPERY SLOPE, TOM,
AND YOU'RE SKIING ON DOWN IT!
>>NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF I HAD JUST
BOUGHT THE COROLLA.
ALSO IF I HADN'T KIDNAPPED FRANK.
>>I JUST NEED TO TAKE CARE OF ONE MORE THING.
>>OW!
WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE USED THE CHLOROFORM?
>>GEE, YOU GOT QUITE THE
SKULL THERE, TOM.
YOU KNOW WE SHOULD JUST- OKAY,
I THINK IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.
>>HO HO HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
>>OH NO, I HOPED IT WOULDN'T
COME TO THIS.
COME HERE, SANTA.
IT SEEMS LIKE THAT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
I CERTAINLY HOPE SANTA TRULY CHECKED HIS LIST TWICE.
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