Thank you for being here.
Happy summer to everyone.
This year is flying by.
I'll tell you that.
[LAUGHTER]
Spring sprung, and it sprang right by us.
Speaking of spring, I want to talk
about the birds and the bees, or in my case, the birds
and the birds.
Relationships--
[LAUGHTER]
Relationships can be complicated.
And I've been married to the same bird for over 10 years.
And I've learned a few things.
For instance, Portia doesn't like to be called a bird.
But I thought I'd share my knowledge
and give some advice on relationships.
And so I don't know everything.
So if, tWitch, you can join me, between the two of us,
we've got everything covered, I pretty much think, right?
All right, so--
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Yeah, you do that.
We're about to get into it now.
Yeah, we're about to get into it.
All right, tWitch, we're going to answer these things
honestly.
Stand next to me on that.
OK.
See, they tell us where to stand.
--stand with the parts--
You know.
You've been in this business before.
Those are cute shoes.
Thank you very much.
All right.
Who has a relationship question?
Where are we starting?
Yes, Joel has someone.
What's your name?
Hi.
I'm Alana.
Hi, Alana.
So my boyfriend doesn't like when I wear sweat pants
or sweatshirts to bed.
How do I deal with that?
Leave him.
[LAUGHTER]
That sucks.
You said he doesn't like when you wear sweat pants or sweat--
We've been together for three and a half years.
It's an issue all the time.
Is it because he--
He gets really hot at night.
So he doesn't like the heat around him.
But I'm cold.
Oh, it's not like a sexy thing.
It's not like he wants you to wear some kind of negligee.
He just doesn't like you--
No, yeah, I can wear shorts and a shirt,
but, like, not sweatpants.
But sometimes I'm just really cold.
I want to wear sweat pants.
What do you?
I would think-- I mean, an honest answer--
maybe just like-- because it sounds like different body
temperatures.
So do you all sleep with the air conditioner on or a fan
situation?
So then you can worry about being warm,
and then he doesn't have to worry about getting hot,
because--
I like that.
We should get a fan.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem to be that big of an issue.
He should just chill.
Thank you.
I will tell him that.
Just tell him to chill out.
It's not a big deal.
Thank you.
Awesome.
So we can't help you.
Because you like to sleep in cold, right?
Oh, yeah.
I like it freezing cold, freezing cold.
Portia hates it freezing cold, but I like it really cold.
Hi.
I'm Ally.
Hi, Ally.
OK, so my question is, what do you
do if your friends won't stop flirting with your boyfriend?
Oh.
Are they there with you?
You pointed like they're here.
These are angels, these ones here.
But maybe some other sketchier ones.
Some other-- and are they really friends?
That's a great question.
I don't know.
Yeah, I-- that's--
Yeah, I mean, I think you kind of hit it on the head.
I don't know if they're really your friends if they're
flirting with your men.
Maybe I'll just get new ones.
And when they flirt, what do they do?
Like friendly hugs, like a little too friendly,
follow him around--
like things I should be doing, they shouldn't be doing.
Right.
Have you all been friends for a really, really long time,
so you can get that brutal friendship kind of comments?
I think I could do that.
So I mean-- and this is a shot in the dark--
you could just tell them, you know,
I feel like you're flirting with my man.
If they're your friends, then they'll understand, right?
I feel that.
You can also tell your boyfriend to tell them
that it makes him feel uncomfortable,
and it's not cool to do around you.
So maybe your boyfriend should be the one
to say, hey, I know that this is just friendly,
but it makes me feel awkward.
Solid advice-- I'll tell him that.
We can help her.
OK, good.
All right, next.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
I'm Danielle.
My question was, how do you tell your significant other that--
or how do you tell them that they
need to update their wardrobe?
How long have you been with your significant other?
For about five to six months.
Oh it's so--
A new new new, yeah.
It's real new.
And you knew right away that this person was a bad dresser?
I mean, not a bad dresser, but doesn't have very many options.
Mm-hmm.
Do they have a problem with money,
like they can't afford other things?
No, I think they can afford.
They can afford.
It's--
Clothes is direction.
What's that?
They need some direction.
Yeah, so he just doesn't--
he-- I'm just guessing.
Yeah.
OK, so he just isn't into clothes.
Some people just aren't into clothes.
They don't care, right?
Right.
So he's that.
Well, you should tell him, can we go shopping,
because I really think you need some more options,
and you'd look better.
And I would like you more if you--
[LAUGHTER]
--if you had--
That sounds superficial.
--better clothes.
Now is the time to do it, because after a year or so,
he's not going to care what you say.
So he's going to be like, this is me, and I dress like this.
You should just early on, like you're
almost on the verge of missing out,
like you got to catch him early on
and start training him to, like, I like your hair this way.
I'd like you to wear these.
Because pretty soon, you've lost him.
He's just set in his ways.
So run home and do it today.
I appreciate the advice.
All right, all right.
All right, Joel, yeah.
Hi.
So my question is, what is the appropriate way
to dance as a couple at events?
The appropriate way to dan--
What's the inappropriate thing you're worried about?
Well, I feel like sometimes, couples
tend to dance too on top of each other at a kid's party.
So what is the appropriate way?
Well, I think the best way is let's play some music,
and we'll show you what we think is inappropriate first.
OK, cool.
What's the--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
What's the venue?
Where are we at, a kid's party?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
That's bad.
That's wrong.
No, don't do that.
That's wrong, OK?
All of that--
Don't do that.
--that's too bad, all of that.
Yeah.
OK.
My clothes are never ready for that.
That' not--
OK.