-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy
and Grammy Award-winning comedian,
a "New York Times" best-selling author, and, of course,
the host of "The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon."
His new children's book, "Five Sleeps 'Til Christmas"
is available now.
Please welcome back to the show, our very good friend
and neighbor, Jimmy Fallon, everybody!
[ Applause ]
-I don't know what to do. -Wide berth, wide berth.
-What do we do? What do we do?
I'm here. I know we can't do anything now.
I'm here. -Yay!
-There's nobody's here. It's unbelievable.
-Yeah, we've got, like -- We're seven strong.
-Wow! Hey, guys, you're doing a great job, everybody.
Hi! I miss everybody. -Thank you.
By the way, you did a great job first.
You came back in August. -Oh, we talked.
-And it was very nice --
Yeah, I came on your show virtually.
-Thank you. -And thank you so much
for sort of, like, showing the path forward
of how to do these shows without --
-How are you -- How are you dealing?
-It's weird. -It's bizarre, right?
-Yeah. -It's a little bizarre,
but I think we're getting there. You know, everyone's doing it
safely here, and I think we're doing the right things
and doing what we're supposed to be doing -- entertaining.
-Yeah. It's very nice to know --
Ideally, it's the same amount of people, obviously,
watching at home -- we're hopeful --
but it's so many less in the audience.
You had such a great relationship
with your live audience.
It was a party to be guest on your show.
-I made it my thing where I would go
and slap hands at the end of the show.
Why would I invest in that move? [ Laughter ]
I might as well go and lick people.
I definitely can't do that anymore.
-That dated -- That dated badly.
And you had that recurring bit
called "Superspreading with Jimmy Fallon."
That's dated badly. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, but that was about man-spreading.
It was about a subway thing.
It was ahead of its time. Really ahead of its time.
It was like, "What was I thinking?"
Yeah, yeah, no. I remember even around March,
just going like, "Hey, we shouldn't
hug the guests anymore or shake hands."
-Yeah. -And then we were elbowing,
and then we were bowing, and then I go --
Now we're ignoring. -Yeah.
-And I just would ignore my guests for five minutes,
come back from a commercial and then ignore them
for another three minutes.
-You have some very -- Obviously, like,
here we have some crew.
Every now and then, you hear them.
They're pretty picky when it comes to jokes.
[ Laughter ]
What about you guys? -Got to keep it real, man.
-What have you figured out? -What we've done is, uh,
we have our writers and our crew sit in the audience,
and they're very, very giving and very nice.
We really -- We feed them great food.
No, I don't know what we'd do.
We just beg them to clap and laugh for us.
And then, we allow, I think, five people from the building
to get tickets to our show and spread out
and so they can -- -People who have already
been tested on their way into the building.
-Yeah. And then we have studio 6-B.
We have some staff sit in there and watch the show
and get audio footage from them watching the show on TV.
-That's great. -And we try to mix it together.
So it's a total of probably 15 people.
-It's amazing, though, when you have been with zero.
-I will take it, man. Honestly, for five months,
I didn't know what was funny at all.
I had no idea. I go --
And my wife was holding the camera and she wouldn't laugh.
And I go, "Well, just give me a little thing.
I mean, would it -- would it hurt to just go like,
'Oh, that's a good one'?"
Disguise your laugh if you want to.
-People have said that to me over the course of the summer.
They say, "Did you at least invite
Alexi up to hear some laughs?"
And I'm like, "What makes you think, of all people --"
-"Alexi sent me up to the attic."
She's like, "Dude, go do your little show somewhere else."
How are the boys? -The boys are good.
They, uh -- Again, I'm sure
your daughters felt the same way.
I mean, they thought, "Oh, this is way better.
You figured it out. You should always do the show
here in the attic, and then, we can see you for lunch.
And then you'll go up. And it shouldn't take as long.
Obviously, you still made an hour of television,
and you were done by 3:00 in the afternoon.
So the way you do it in New York is stupid."
I think that's how they felt.
-That's how they felt, yeah, yeah.
My daughters, they had no idea it was even airing anywhere
until, I think, we got masks and we went to Kmart.
And in the parking lot, someone was like, "I know you.
You're famous or whatever."
And my kids were like, "Yeah, I know. I guess so."
I mean, my dog is now -- -Your dog --
Yeah. So here's -- here's Gary.
-Yeah. She's wearing disguises now when she goes out,
because she doesn't want to be recognized.
-Right. So, yeah.
-She still won't wear her mask, weirdly enough.
[ Both laugh ]
She's one of those dogs. -People recognize Gary.
-Yeah, when I walk the dog,
they go, "Yo, Gary! What's happening?"
-[ Laughs ] Everyone -- Yeah.
You know, we've done things --
Drew Barrymore voiced Gary over the summer.
We had a bit where we made the dog's mouth move,
and Drew was the voice of Gary.
So, that was a pretty popular thing for our show.
And then, you know, we released a line of P'Jimmies, pajamas.
-Oh, yeah, I have a picture of the P'Jimmies right here.
-With Alex Mill, with the proceeds
going to Feeding America.
100% of our net proceeds went to that.
-Be honest, 'cause P'Jimmies is a great name.
How quickly did you come up with it?
And then, did you come up with P'Jimmies first
and then realize you had to make pajamas?
-"I have to do something with it"?
You know I have a list of those ridiculous ideas.
But, no, I actually went with --
I made a thing with Mickey Drexler.
We made these --
There were iPhone cases that when you put them
in your suit pocket, they look like pocket squares.
-Oh, yeah. -And they did really well.
-P'Jacket squares. -P'Jacket squares.
[ Both laugh ] -I remember.
-They did giant in Sweden. They were giant.
That's how you spell P'Jacket Squares.
B-jorkin Squares. -[ Laughs ]
-And so we did that and saved a bunch of elephants
with that thing.
So then, I saw him out to dinner somewhere,
and he goes, "What else could we do?"
And I go, "Well, let's think of something."
He goes, "Well, how about clothing, anything?"
I go, "Sure. Let me think of idea."
Of course, I'm thinking of inventions and things.
I thought of a baseball hat that's connected to the hoodie.
So then -- -Bad idea.
And he was like, "Yeah, let me think about that. No."
But he goes, "How about pajamas?"
And I go, "Yeah, I love -- I wear pajamas all the time."
He goes, "You know, we spend
1/3 of our life wearing pajamas.
We should really dedicate some time to making the best pajamas.
What's the problem?" I go, "I have notes already.
I want pockets in my pajamas.
I think that the crotch hole is too big
and not completely closeable." -[ Laughing ] Right.
-"It's usually a tiny button." It's too dangerous.
Too dangerous for me to walk around with that little button."
-If you have to run out to get the mail...
-Yeah. -...and the wind blows...
-Thank you.
You know how many times that happened?
[ Both laugh ]
For me, it's "A Quiet Man" when I go to get the --
I run out, and things happen.
So I go, "I want a fake, uh, pee hole -- I don't know -- fly.
And so that's closed." -I think "pee hole" is better.
-Thank you.
We were gonna call them "P'Holes" originally.
-P'Jee Holes. -P'Jee Holes!
Oh, I've got to laugh this way. [ Laughter ]
Dude, we -- So, we came up with that thing.
We had a P'Jimmie Jammy Jam on the show,
and we sold out in a night. -That's great.
-And all the money went to Feeding America,
so it was good cause. It was just cool.
And it's like so -- My kids were part of
that photo shoot, and now they kind of --
They think they know how to pose now and be famous,
so every time I take a picture of them, they pose.
-Yeah, this is -- I mean, this is someone
who really thinks she knows how to pose.
-Yeah, and I go, "Franny, you do not have to pose.
That's not --" I go, "I was just taking
a picture of you in your bedroom.
Just let me take a photo.
I thought your sweater was cute."
Everything, she just keeps going...
Everything's that.
And then the other one gets involved.
-This one's a little looser with the pose.
-Well, she was trying to guess,
"Maybe two hands is better than one with the pose."
But now my kids won't do anything but pose for photos.
And I go, "That's not how --
You can just take an actual photo.
You don't have to really do this."
But it's the cutest thing. I'm loving it.
-Be natural like the giraffe. -[ Laughing ] Yeah.
Right. Yeah, just be natural, exactly, correct.
-Uh, this is -- We're gonna be right back.
We're gonna talk about your fourth -- your fourth book.
-Wow. Is it though? [ Both laugh ]
We'll be right back with more from Jimmy Fallon.
Those are outstanding shoes.
-What are you talking -- Am I wearing shoes?
-They're so good. You might not remember this.
My first year on the show, you would -- it was a time --
You were on the show longer than me.
-Uh-huh. -Although this never
happened for me, so maybe this had not anything
to do with tenure, but people would send you shoes,
and you would have, like, boxes of shoes.
And I remember once -- You were being very cool.
It was my first year on the show, you're like,
"Hey! You want these shoes?"
And they were like these orange, furry Adidas shoes.
-Yes! Oh, I remember that!
-You remember them, right? They're the ugliest shoes
in the world, but I was -- I just assumed,
because you gave them to me, they were cool shoes.
And I remember wearing them to see my college friends.
I had basically been on the show for three months,
and just, like, walked into a Chicago bar,
and they were like, "No!" -"What the heck?!
He gave them to you for a reason!
You shouldn't wear -- no one should wear those shoes!"
[ Laughter ] They look like Muppets.
-Yeah, they were Muppets. -They were fuzzy shoes.
-And they were real bad. -They were awful.
-And it was an act -- I'd like to believe it was an act of --
You were testing me, and I failed.
-I remember, everything I got sent,
I used to wear, 'cause it's free clothes.
So, I go, "This is amazing." And I think --
I want to say Hugo Boss sent me a jacket.
It was one of the first things I got.
And it was silver. Like, metal silver.
Like aluminum foil. -Right.
-And I go, "This is -- I guess I can wear this?"
And I went to a bar over on 9th Avenue or something,
wearing this aluminum-foil jacket
at like 3:00 in the morning, and I got mugged.
[ Laughter ]
And these guys were like, "Give me that jacket."
I go, "Absolutely. You got it, man."
The guy was like --
I almost wanted to give it to him too fast.
He was like, "You know what? We're cool."
And I go, "You don't want the jacket?"
He's like, "I don't, actually." I go, "Okay."
And I left -- I go, "I'm never wearing this dumb thing --"
-A mugger -- When I wore your shoes,
a mugger stopped me and gave me money for new shoes.
[ Laughter ]
This is your fourth book. -Unbelievable.
-And this is the most words in any of your books.
-This, for me, is a real tour de force.
This is, like -- This is, like, my "Goldfinch."
[ Laughter ]
This is -- This is unbelievable.
What I've done here was --
Finally got my money's worth on my laptop.
-Yeah. -'Cause, like, really, I go,
the other books have kind of been like text messages
turned into books. -But I will say,
as someone who has your other books,
they're wonderful for a certain age.
And I imagine that your kids get a little older,
and then you write a book that they will be into.
-Yeah. So, this one is --
You know, what happened is, I always wanted to do
a Christmas book, and I just couldn't think
of what the hook was or what I wanted to do.
'Cause I'm telling you, man, it's the coolest vibe
when you write a book, and it was, you know,
"Dada moo, Dada quack," that was the first book.
And then, you get these videos of these kids reading the book
with their parents back to you, and it's awesome.
You start getting -- I got videos from teachers
saying, like, "Hey, you're teaching confidence
in these kids to, like, laugh and know that reading's cool,"
and you go like, "Oh, my gosh. Of course.
That was my plan the whole time."
[ Laughter ] And so, you get a good buzz.
And so, I was walking Winnie home from school one day,
and she goes, "How many more sleeps till we go to --"
And she doesn't even have a lisp.
I just did that, because it makes her sound cuter.
And she goes -- She was so cute --
"How many more sleeps till we go to grandma's house?"
And I go -- My kid sounds like Jay Leno now.
[ Laughter ] My kid is --
[ As Jay Leno ] "How many more sleeps
till we, uh, go to grandma's house?"
[ Laughter ]
Dude, I get everything from Leno.
I get everything -- My kids talk like Jay Leno.
-It's weird, because you're a good impressionist,
and now we're seeing you can't do your kids.
It's very interesting. -Can't do my kids.
-It's like your blind spot as an impressionist.
-So she -- I go, "How many more sleeps?"
That's so cute.
I didn't have sleeps when I was growing up.
I had days -- "How many more days until something?"
I go, "Five More Sleeps 'Til Christmas" would be cute,
because I couldn't always wait for Santa to come.
-I was talking to my son about Christmas
and telling him how I could never sleep
the night before Christmas. And then I realized,
it wasn't a helpful thing to tell him,
because I'm basically giving him an excuse to now...
-Yeah. -...turn around on Christmas Eve
and be like, "You couldn't do it, either, old man!"
-Yeah. The fun about these things, too,
is, like, you make it short enough so that it counts
as a book, but it's also long enough, so it is a book,
but there's spaces in there so that you can go like,
"Yeah, these are toys that he's dreaming about."
And then you go like, "You know, when I was a kid,
I had a dream about this toy." You know, my favorite toy,
I remember, I was growing up, and I wanted this robot
called Marzon. It was a walking robot.
And it was in --
I just saw the commercial for it, like...
♪ Marzon ♪ And I go, "Oh, I'd love that."
So I asked Santa for Marzon.
And so, basically, what Marzon was,
is an inflatable robot that you hooked
this plastic thing to the feet and turned it on,
and the plastic would move the robot and whatever.
And I think Santa was testing out the eggnog the night before.
[ Laughter ]
Let's just say, the plastic part didn't come with my Marzon.
So, I got an inflatable doll for Christmas.
And I woke up, I go, "Oh, my gosh!
Marzon! Santa's the best."
And I go in, and it's just an inflatable robot.
[ Laughter ] And that's all it does.
It doesn't do anything. -No walking.
-Doesn't walk. No, that part did not come with my toy.
But, I mean, you tell these fun stories when you're reading
to your kids, you're like, "Oh, I remember.
I did this and all that stuff."
And then, the spoiler at end of this -- my M. Night Shyamalan
of children's book authors, at the end is,
you see that it's all about the buildup of getting the toys.
It's all about the fun and the singing and the decorating,
and this type of year and just getting to it,
and that's kind of the point of it.
The kid wants to get excited for next Christmas.
-Which does also makes sense, because, ultimately,
even if your Marzon had the right stuff,
about an hour into it --
-I wouldn't be playing with Marzon.
My grandfather use to throw it out of the upper window.
When a school bus would come and pick me and my sister up
in front of our house, and he would just
try to embarrass me every time he could,
'cause all the kids are on the bus, waiting for us.
And we'd get on the school bus,
and he would come out in a clown wig or something.
And they'd be like, "What's going on?"
And then, I remember, he threw Marzon
out the second-floor window, and everyone's like,
"What is going on? The Fallons are so weird, man.
Please be a comedian when you grow up." Yeah.
-Congrats on the book, my friend,
and thanks for being here.
You're going downstairs to do a show now.
-Yeah. Here we go. Yeah.
I got to say, thanks for doing what you're doing, man.
I was like, "I gotta come up and tell you guys
you're doing a great job, 'cause I watch you every night.
And, yeah. I really appreciate it, bud.
You're awesome. -Right back at you.
-Best to Alexi and the kids. -And the same to you.
"The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon"
airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m., right here on NBC.
I feel like, if you're watching this, you knew that.
Yeah, if you go back in time --
-It's like, "Who's watching this, Cher?"
[ As Cher ] ♪ If I could turn back time ♪
-Wait. Is that Winnie? -Yeah, I'm doing --
[ Laughter ]
That's my Jay Leno impression!
-"Five More Sleeps 'Til Christmas" is available now
wherever books are sold, but now is a great time
to support your local and independent bookstores.