(Ian) What's the difference between a garage sale and a yard sale?
(Anthony) SHUT UP!
-Just think about it. -No!
Everyone knows that the Hulk's crafts
would be way more lethal than Superman.
Oh, just think about Superman's craft. He can fly and stuff!
Oh, dude, check it out!
Let's go make fun of all the stupid junk
those losers are probably trying to sell!
(both laugh idiotically)
Dude, look at this!
-Lame. -Nice junk, old man!
Yeah, where'd you get it from? The junk store?
(both laugh)
(gasps) Oh my god...
(together) First edition holographic Charizard!
How much do you want for it?! I'll pay you anything!
I-I'll pay you anything he's paying, plus my lucky nickel!
I ain't sellin' to either of you two rude punks!
Now, get outta here before I call the sheriff!
I only sell my junk to people who deserve it!
(mockingly) I only sell my junk to people who deserve--ow!
Oh! What the--(gasps) Heh heh heh.
Oh, somebody help me!
I'm going into labor!
Sure thing, ma'am. How can I help?
Well, I was looking for a trading card for my unborn baby,
maybe one with a little orange dragon on it?
(Ian) Oh, how about this one?
Hmmm, yes, that would be perfect for my unborn baby!
(Anthony) Stop right there, my beautiful wife!
-Huh? -Doctor said you can't touch trading cards.
Might hurt our little precious baby!
-Oh no! -Yeah!
-Sorry about that. -No! You don't understand!
This man is not my husband!
The doctor also said that she might be having some memory loss
through her last trimester.
-It's okay, honey. -Get off me!
I'll get that trading card for you.
Women, am I right? (chuckles)
Alright, now, uh, how much do I owe you for this here trading card?
(Ian) Hold on, there!
This just in:
new medical study show that women can touch trading card while pregnant.
In fact, your wife ask me to take this card while
on the way to hospital.
Come on, man!
Can't argue with science, son.
She's going to be such a happy mother!
(Anthony) Stop right there, criminal!
Nice try, Doctor Death!
This man is wanted in over 500 states for selling illegal steroids
to five year olds.
That's horrible!
And I need this little guy as evidence for part of my investigation.
Of course, sheriff.
Stop this man! (harumphs)
(scoffs) And who are you supposed to be?
Why, I'm the mayor of this here city!
And I'm here to clear the good doctor's name.
And while I'm at it, I might as well take that little trading card
for that poor, old pregnant lady.
Yes, sir, Mr. Mayor, sir!
(Anthony) Get down, Mr. Mayor!
Huh? (Ian groans)
Someone was plotting to kidnap the mayor!
Drop the card!
Could be rigged with explosives!
I'm gonna have to take the card to dispose of it.
(Ian) Whoooooo! How could you let me die?
Whooo! I'm a ghost!
What the hell, man? No one's going to believe this crap!
If you don't give me that card,
I'm gonna haunt the both of you for the rest of your lives!
Take it!
I'll take care of your ghost problem,
but it's gonna cost you that card!
Yeah, whatever! Just do it!
-Taste my proton gun, you stupid ghost! -NO!
(Ian) No! NO! NOOO!
Dieeeee!
So, um, how about that card?
Sorry, I just sold it to some kid.
What?!
Wow!
Hey, kid! I'm super radical skateboarder Tony Hawk!
It would be super radical if you gave me this super radical card!
Uh, this is my Digimon card!
Hi, I'm the president of the United States and you, uh, need
to give me that card.
Uh, the president is black.
You racist little sh*t!
I am so sorry for that kid's insensitive remarks, Mr. Barack Obama!
Uh, do you think, maybe, we could get a picture together?
Okay...
Yeah!
Now I can tell everyone I have black friends! Yeah!
BLACK FRIENDS ARE AWESOME!
To see bloopers and this...
Click the video right here!
You are one of only men on the planet that has nipples.
-Do they shoot milk? -Yes.
This is Barack Obama and I'd like to thank you for subscribing!