porn and negative body image i'm dr trish leigh cognitive neuroscientist and sex addiction
recovery coach in this video let's talk about how porn locks you in your body gives you negative
body image has you see other people as bodies and how that impacts your brain performance pattern
so number one we're going to talk about you're more than just a body we're going to talk about
what you are and when you tap into what you really are you won't need porn in the end it'll be easy
or easier at least to give up then we're going to talk about your brain performance pattern
what happens when you are the true authentic version of yourself in your brain what happens
when your mind becomes distorted and you become locked in your body and then of course number
three your brain tip strategy for today what you can do to back yourself out of this negative body
image and what you can do to heal your brain get on purpose and ride off into the sunset
so let's dig in number one what am i talking about body image and what else is there so we know
from the science that more men than ever are struggling with body image when we think about
body image issues we think of it as a woman's issue and we know that it goes way back in history
and that's not what i'm here to talk about talk about today you know you can dig into that because
it's interesting in and of itself but what we know is from the past few decades that more men
struggle with body image they compare themselves to men i made a video on penis length because i
know that that's something that people search up and i know that it's driven from porn consumption
because when you view people on the screen who have you know perceived better bodies than you
it makes you feel bad about yourself but i want to remind you porn is a super normal stimulus
those are performers they are there for a reason they are there to make you want to idolize them
to a certain extent they're there to make you become aroused by them that is the point but that
is not healthy for you and we're going to talk about how it shows up in your brain performance
pattern but before we do that let's let's dive in a little bit to this whole body image thing
so when you have a porn habit especially if it's frequent consistent and especially if it has any
level of intensity to it you get locked in your body you're thinking about pleasuring your body
all the time we know that dopamine's involved it's the pleasure seeking neurochemical it seeks more
and more pleasure for your body and where it's utilizing your brain which we're going to back
up the bus to that in a second but so what happens is you're locked in that body and you see other
people as bodies for your pleasure objectification of other women and men and what that means is you
see them as objects for your pleasure that's what happens from a porn habit but what can happen
when you leave the screen is that you can get back to that true authentic version of yourself
the one that you were born the one that has your hopes in your dreams the things you love to do
the things that you want to create that you want to bring into this world the way that you can
serve the world the way that you can be connected to other people the way that you can be enjoy
and happiness and appropriate amounts of pleasure the good stuff the spice of life
that's your true authentic self and some people conceptualize it as your spirit or as your soul
but yourself is the real version of you the true version the one that knows what you want
now here's the problem as we're growing up that true authentic self version our full
potential version of our is programmed out of us so it's programmed out by our teachers
by our parents by our religious organizations it's programmed out by dysfunction by trauma
by negative experiences people tell you stop drawing and get doing your math don't spend
your time doing this spend your time working you you can't relax you got to keep grinding
it's programmed out of you the loves of your life the work that gives you purpose the connection and
with people that gives you purpose and the hobbies that give you purpose now it's pretty easy to see
that's the way back to your true authentic self so i'll tell you about that in a minute
but let me just finish this concept so the true authentic self is in there and it uses your mind
your mind is a tool it can either create when it's on purpose or it can miscreate or make
when it's being used just for pleasure so we know that pleasure and pain exist in the same
area in the brain and we know in an addictive cycle pleasure always ends up in the same amount
or more of pain so we have two aspects of your mind we have the aspect that's healthy and it's
purpose we have the unhealthy aspect which is pleasure seeking that ends up in pain
those are your two choices on how you use your mind that's really just what it is then your
mind uses your body as the tool so when you're on purpose your mind can use your body to create
it can create the art that you want to create the music it can create videos on youtube to
help other people it can do accounting for other people it connects you to other people on purpose
or if it's miscreating it just goes into the world to want to use other people or
technology for pleasure seeking to try to get you out of pain but actually give you more
so that's how it works self goes to mind mind can split into two roads one that goes on purpose
that actually helps you to feel good and it gives you the optimal brain pattern
and you use your body towards that or one that miscreates and that just looks for
pleasure seeking which ultimately ends up in pain because it gives you a dis-regulated brain pattern
so let's go to number two what am i talking about with neurological regulation or dysregulation
a regulated brain pattern is one that's using electrical energy that's in the middle medium
speed for calm focus so you feel chill you feel on purpose you feel engaged you feel happy you
feel joy you feel pleasure you feel good or if you're using a dysregulated pattern it's not in
the middle it's not using medium speed it's using too much fast feed which makes you feel anxious
it gives you social anxiety it can make you feel depressed when it swings in the opposite direction
it makes you feel overdrive go go go like you can never stop and never come down
it does not make you feel good simultaneously we know from science that this extra fast brain speed
also has a comorbid coexisting pattern that's too slow it makes you feel overwhelmed it makes
you feel fatigued it gives you brain fog lack of motivation executive function skills fall
apart so you can't plan and organize it makes you feel like you want to go back into the screen for
stimulation and arousal so this pendulum effect of a dysregulated brain pattern keeps you locked
in this addictive cycle pleasure equals pain pleasure pain pendulum swings okay so number three
your brain tip strategy first of all you have to stay out of the screen because when you keep going
back in you're having that pendulum keep swinging back and forth it works like this when you consume
pornography your brain gets a dopamine deluge a flood and so what you've done is inadvertently
told your brain hey the screen's where all the dopamine is tons of pleasure in the screen
it creates a dopamine deficit in your life there's no dopamine there why would i bother getting out
of bed why would i bother thinking of heart about work today why would i bother hanging out with my
honey who i used to be attracted to and now i'm not that's because of a dopamine deficit
so when you stay out of the screen and you go out of your way to get on purpose in your work
plan something think about your work and go do something that you've been meaning to do
but you haven't done because you haven't been able to muster up the energy of the motivation
when you muster up the energy and the motivation you're going to reward your brain in the world
then connect with people call somebody you haven't talked to in a while plan a date with your honey
my hubs is picking me up very soon for a date because he trashed my truck and it's still not
fixed so he has to pick my action up to go to dinner but he's probably waiting for me honestly
so i have to wrap the video up but go spend time with your your person or your people and laugh
laughter produces so much dopamine i was literally cracking myself up yesterday it was not even funny
and i would tell you the story but it would be totally lost in the retail but i was cracking my
action up my husband has i buy the things for our children i do purchase a lot of things off amazon
i did great this holiday season but there literally was returns since october there was
four things that needed to be returned and they had to be returned by february 1st which today is
february 1st i don't know when the video will be out but that man sent his assistant to return it
today ridiculous and i was doing this whole role play thing and i was cracking up but anyways i'm
going out to dinner to spend time with my peeps and then third hobbies go do the hobbies that you
love be very intentional about it so instead of just passively consuming what comes up on
your phone or going into porn and passively just cruising through whatever you can to find the most
pleasure possible think about it intentionally what did that little kiddo my true authentic self
in me what did he love to do and then plan it and go do it and you're going to rewire your brain and
tell your brain the dopamines in the world not the screen and it's going to do wonders for you
so go check that out come out of your body get back into yourself and use your mind and your body
as tools to be on purpose that's what i mean when i say control your brain or it will control you
when you're controlling your brain your mind and your body are your best tools ever when your brain
controls you through that dysregulated pendulum swings pattern your body and mind are controlling
you for pleasure seeking that ends in pain and derailing you from your purpose so get back on
purpose and you will get the pleasure in the world that you deserve okay uh if you want help on this
journey reach out to me drtrishleigh.com and as always control your brain or it'll control you