- Let's come to this kind of wedge here,
what do you want to hear?
- [Audience member] Oklahoma! - Oklahoma?
(cheering)
Oh my gosh, someone from Oklahoma.
I know nothing about that state
because you're not important on a global scale.
(laughter and clapping)
Would you dare, would you tell me something about Oklahoma?
- [Audience member] Nope.
- Just over there, "nope".
More like Nope-lahoma if you ask me.
I don't know why I made you from the south.
I'm sorry if you're not.
What's something about Oklahoma?
- [Audience member] It was founded in 1907,
and it was the center of the Dust Bowl.
- I did not know we had the
Oklahoma tourist board in.
(laughter and clapping)
Cool, Oklahoma, the center of the Dust Bowl,
founded in 1907.
Guys, this is a riveting start.
Guys in this kind of wedge here, front to back,
what did you want to hear a rap about?
- [Audience member] French Revolution!
- The French Revolution?
Wow, you very posh person.
Okay, the French Revolution.
Oklahoma, home of the Dust Bowl.
Founded in 1907.
Middle of the room, what's it gonna be?
(audience members shouting)
One second!
You're not in the middle of the room.
- [Audience member] Crop circles!
- [Audience member] Monet!
- Crop circles and Monet.
Ooh, we'll combine those.
We'll have Monet crop circles.
Monet crop circles, French Revolution, Oklahoma.
One person over there, yes,
you just really love the French Revolution bit,
don't you?
Guys over here, what do you want to rap about?
(audience members shouting)
So many at the same time.
I heard Kylie Jenner, what did you say?
- [Audience member] Tide Pods!
- Tide Pods?
Ooh, Kylie Jenner eating a Tide Pod.
Kylie Jenner eating a Tide Pod.
Monet crop circles, French Revolution, Oklahoma.
And over here, what do you want?
- [Audience member] High heels!
- [Audience member] Placenta!
- High heels.
- Okay, one second.
- [Audience member] Big booty bitches!
- You can keep shouting it
but I'm not taking it
'cause we've already got Kylie Jenner.
(audience laughs)
I don't know how big her rear is.
I don't know.
You said placenta, you said high heels.
One of them is, you know, a shoe,
I was trying to think of a joke there.
I think placenta is an excellent suggestion,
but high heels did come first.
So, I'll try and mix them both in.
I'll just try and make it savory
'cause that does sound horrible.
(laughter)
Isn't it, 'cause, people...
Did anyone here keep their placenta?
Yeah, did anyone eat it?
- [Audience member] No!
- That's a thing, by the way.
In LA especially, people,
they keep and they eat it.
Which seems, I just thought it was weird.
(audience murmur)
Kylie Jenner eats a placenta?
It's so strange because what if it was delicious?
That's not a reason to have more children.
Just, like, get pregnant again, I'm addicted.
(audience laughs)
That's disgusting, I'm sorry.
So, high heels and placenta.
Kylie Jenner eating a Tide Pod.
Monet crop circles, the French Revolution
and Oklahoma.
This then, lovely people of the Comedy Cellar,
this is so fun.
This is gonna be a freestyle rap.
That is a rap made up on the spot,
based entirely on those suggestions.
Not prepared.
And it's gonna be amazing!
Should we drop that beat?
Should we drop that beat, guys?
Red, let's roll there
and let's show 'em how we do!
(rap beat)
I'm really excited for this.
This is gonna be great.
We'll start with yours
'cause you were first, yeah!
♪ I travel wide and far ♪
♪ But I will never go there ♪
♪ Sorry to disappoint, you're fucked, Oklahoma ♪
♪ Yeah, I might come across as unpleasant ♪
♪ It's like a hundred something years ago, 1907 ♪
♪ I visit, and that's my goal ♪
♪ What is it, Chris ♪
♪ Well, it's the home of the Dust Bowl ♪
♪ In The Great Depression everybody died ♪
♪ No crops they were raising ♪
♪ Nobody thrived, no survivors ♪
♪ You can go to Oklahoma ♪
♪ It's a musical, as well ♪
♪ On stage, I could show you ♪
♪ They revived it on Broadway ♪
♪ One guy over here, giving it ♪
♪ Hand up in the wave, like, yeah ♪
♪ To Broadway, you are a hurdle ♪
♪ I cut shapes like a mad crop circle ♪
♪ You might say that my art's so silly ♪
♪ But I like to make the circle ♪
♪ In the shape of a lily ♪
♪ Pad ♪
♪ You can call me Monet ♪
♪ The best French impressionist ♪
♪ From back in the day ♪
♪ He paid (rapping in foreign language) ♪
♪ Doing all the lily ponds ♪
♪ People said to him ♪
♪ Yeah, you are a silly man ♪
♪ You did the circles wrong ♪
♪ Get a weird yield ♪
♪ You gotta lay the wheat down out in the field ♪
♪ And if you see Mel Gibson in the film "Signs" ♪
♪ He's the main guy, the sign of the times ♪
♪ Took a baseball bat ♪
♪ And killed an extraterrestrial ♪
♪ He probably thought it was a Jew, y'all ♪
♪ He's anti-Semitic, he's a really bad guy ♪
♪ We should cut him down ♪
♪ We should all rise like they did in "Les Mis" ♪
♪ Back in the day, we're in the French Revolution ♪
♪ Building up the barricades ♪
♪ Everybody laying down the monarchy ♪
♪ Marie Antoinette ♪
♪ She was saying freely ♪
♪ Let them eat bread, I can't do the accent ♪
♪ I never studied it in school, I'll attack it ♪
♪ They were like, Down with Louis XVI ♪
♪ Down with Versailles ♪
♪ Down with the Sun King ♪
♪ Storm the Bastille ♪
♪ Free all the prisoners ♪
♪ I've got some dirt on my clothes ♪
♪ I'll make it glisten here ♪
♪ I'm in the laundry feeling really odd ♪
♪ By the way, I'm Kylie Jenner ♪
♪ I see a Tide pod, like, ♪
♪ Oh my God, it looks so savory ♪
♪ I wanna pick it up and insert it in me ♪
♪ It looks like it tastes amazing ♪
♪ Like a cow, just gonna go down ♪
♪ and start grazing ♪
♪ Wow, I get what the craze about ♪
♪ It's so damn tasty when it bursts in my mouth ♪
♪ Wait, I start to feel asphyxiation ♪
♪ I need to go to the ER, no hesitation ♪
♪ Meditate on it, be at peace ♪
♪ But sadly, the Tide pod provides ♪
♪ The sweet release of death and off she goes ♪
♪ You know I went there ♪
♪ Last thing, I like to get placenta ♪
♪ And I dry freeze it, make it to a shape ♪
♪ Off to the Louis Vuitton store I take and say ♪
♪ I'm gonna give this to you ♪
♪ And can you turn it into a pair of shoes ♪
♪ They say "No Chris" ♪
♪ That would be so wrong ♪
♪ I take the placenta to Louboutin ♪
♪ And I give it to them ♪
♪ Yeah, you thought I'd forgotten ♪
♪ Placenta on the shoe ♪
♪ That's why it's red on the bottom ♪
(cheering)
♪ Placenta on the shoe ♪
♪ That's why it's red on the bottom ♪