Top story.
With 27 days until the election, the future of the nation
and whether Earth will be hospitable to human life
comes down to a few Senate races between Democrats saying
"Republicans are crazy" and Republicans saying, "You're goddamn right, we are." In
Georgia, Republican nominee who is inspiring some mom
to withdraw her kid from flag football as we speak, Herschel Walker faces
accusations related to having his own parking spot at Planned Parenthood.
Here is how he defended himself against the unblinking eyes of Brian Kilmeade
because Kilmeade doesn't know how to blink.
No one is perfect.
I'm a sinner.
We all sin before the glory of God.
But everyday, I get up in the morning, I pray to God to let me do his will.
And that's the reason I'm in this race right now.
That's right.
We are in no position to condemn Herschel Walker's journey to condemn teenagers
who made Herschel Walker's mistakes.
Democrats are saying Walker is engaging in rank hypocrisy,
forcing Republicans to clarify their moral code: "God is dead,
and we believe in nothing." A lot of people have sleazy pasts.
As long as he is moving forward and he is a strong Republican,
we need this Senate seat.
What matters to people is how they're going to vote
once they've been in the Senate.
I don't care if Herschel Walker paid to abort endangered baby eagles.
I want control of the Senate.
Savvy of Dana Loesch to get ahead of what is likely the next revelation
in the Herschel Walker saga.
Joining me to huff a tube of news glue, then claw some headlines into our own
faces is Democratic
strategist who blamed her last three break ups on Russian hackers, Lydia Parker.
Good evening.
Chief Washington bureau chief who hangs around pick-up basketball games
until someone asks him to ref, Jonathan Keene.
Hello.
Live from outside
Herschel Walker's campaign headquarters in Atlanta, chief field correspondent
who has gotten a medically dangerous amount of shampoo in his eyes,
James Smartwood Jr.
Dad. Hey, James.
And CBS News Senior White House correspondent,
and Tooning Out The News contributor, Weijia Jiang.
Thank you so much for being here, Weijia.
Thank you for having me.
It's really exciting to be with you guys tonight.
Absolutely.
Now, let's talk about that Republican pivot to "we just want to win."
How inspiring is it for voters if Republicans new campaign
slogan is "Vote for our craven accumulation of power?" So,
this is something that we had to grapple with starting in 2016.
Right? Right.
Whenever many pundits and analysts looked at the now infamous Access
Hollywood tape and assumed that then-candidate
Donald Trump was a goner, and the opposite happened.
So I think since then a lot of people have been,
you know, have been struggling
with the big question, which is, you know, the identity of the party.
But as we just heard in that clip that you played, James,
you know, some people just don't care.
They want that power.
And they they say, you know, doesn't matter what the candidate has done.
If he's going to be a Republican, we will support him.
Yeah, I'm just wondering, Democrats should maybe consider
that you may not need to campaign as a morally perfect person
to run a country that's just a pile of bloody money.
Now, former football coach Tommy Tuberville went on a racist rant
and then former football player Herschel Walker engaged in all this madness.
It's become clear that we are paying for our ungodly love of the golden calf
that is football.
And to save this nation, we need to somehow reverse football.
I propose we bless Joe Theismann and Troy Aikman at each other
at the speed of light, thus creating anti-football.
Well, we'll have to see if they're up for it.
Let's turn now to Pennsylvania, where Democrat and sentient Dive
Bar, John Fetterman, only holds a slim lead over
Republican who many suspect simply changed his first name to "doctor," Dr.
Oz, due to a stroke that, according to New York magazine, still affects him.
It's going to be a tough call
for Pennsylvania voters to decide whether they would rather have a senator
with reduced cognition or a senator they wish had reduced cognition.
Oz is really trying to pressure
the Fetterman campaign to release more of his medical records to
show whether he's
hiding anything, in his words, about his health.
But Fetterman has been really open about the fact that, yes, he had a stroke
and he has overcome it, and he continues to work through that,
and, in fact, you know, when Oz's campaign
poked fun at Fetterman for having a stroke,
his senior communications aide said that if Fetterman
had ever eaten a vegetable in his life, maybe he wouldn't have had a stroke.
That really backfired.
Well, I'm just worried that Fetterman seeing a doctor and receiving adequate
medical care will be very unrelatable to all those Americans
currently treating their cardiac arrest with a toilet snake.
Look, I have been wary of Dr.
Oz ever since he sold me a skin tonic whose primary ingredient was ionize
hog's sphincters.
Now, I know it's our job in the media to remain as unbiased commentators
of our political system.
I'm starting to worry that the country is driving toward a fascistic cliff,
and we're all just voting on what sort of gas we should put in the tank.
I mean, does anyone agree here?
Oh, no. Hello.
I am Chuck Todd.
By threatening
to fully comprehend the actual gravity of our political reality
live on air, you have violated the sacred law of the news gods.
It is the news media's humble calling to distract the masses with inane bullshit
while our corporate overlords exploit the system to rob them blind.
Oh, okay. My bad.
I won't do that again.
You're not going to push back at all?
No, I'm good.
I mean, I get to sit behind a big desk and, you know, be on TV.
Okay, cool.
So you want to grab drinks after the show?
Uh, not really.
Kinda sorta busy over here.
Okay, so some other time.
We're really busy, right, team?
Pretty busy. Yeah.
Show's a beast to make. Swamped.
Yeah.
Have you ever played Settlers of Catan?
That sounds actually even worse
than the other option, so I think I'm going to be busy for that, too.
Weijia, do you want to hang out with Chuck Todd or...
Oh, I want to hang out with all of you.
I mean... Yeah, see.
Maybe we could have a drink and then play that game,
which always really confused me, but it might make it more bearable.
Oh, no, it's really simple. Here. I'll go through it real quick.
Oh no, Weijia.
No, no, Weijia. Don't feed it.