God's Gift of Tears
When facing intensely emotional experiences, we should give ourselves permission to cry.
And there's tremendous healing through this process.
We've looked at God's healing process
through family, but we can see also the
process of healing through the gift of tears.
Let me share with you a series of events
that focused on his tears.
These are events that actually
precipitated Joseph's tears.
Number one: Joseph wept when he saw
his brother's hearts begin to soften in
their relationship to God.
That just really ministered to him.
Read about this in chapter 42:
Then they said to each other, "It is plain
that we are being punished for what we
did to our brother. ..."
Now keep in mind the context is that that famine came.
And that famine spread all the way to
the land of Canaan.
And they heard about all of the
storehouses in Egypt. Not realizing
obviously that Joseph was the one that
God used to prepare all of Egypt and,
really, the rest of the then-known-world
for this famine.
And so Jacob sends the sons down to
Egypt to get grain.
But when they get down there,
Joseph, recognizing them, begins to
really test them to see whether or not
they had any change of heart whatsoever.
And so here we have a result of what
happened in that test.
Then they said to each other, "It is plain
that we are being punished for what we
did to our brother."
Joseph actually--in order to test them-
called them spies.
And he wouldn't back off.
He really tested them because he knew
the depths of their sinful hearts. We read on.
"We saw his deep distress when he pleaded with us..."
And of course they're having this
conversation among themselves in their own language.
And they don't realize that here this
man Joseph, that they knew as the
prime minister of Egypt, could understand their language.
He heard this conversation going on.
"...We saw his deep distress when he pleaded with us,
but we would not listen."
And of course that gives you some
insights into how painful an experience
that was for young Joseph when they
grabbed him, and they tore off his coat,
and they threw him in this pit.
And then they sold him to the
Midianites as a slave.
He pleaded. He cried. He wept.
And so consequently, you know, all of
these feelings have come back to Joseph
in this situation.
These brothers wouldn't listen to him.
And so they go on and they say:
"...That is why this trouble has come to us."
This is why we're being accused of being spies.
...But Reuben replied: "Didn't I tell you
not to harm the boy?..."
And so, isn't it interesting that Joseph is
getting insights into some of the things
that happened? He probably didn't even know [what was] going on when he was
thrown into that pit.
"...But you wouldn't listen [he said].
Now we must account for his blood!" ...
And then we have the explanation:
...They did not realize that Joseph
understood them, since there was an
interpreter between them. ...
And we heard these words:
...He turned away from them and [what?] wept.
He began to see their hearts at least begin to soften.
At least some explanation to what was going on.
At least taking some responsibility for
what they had done.
And seeing a connection between their
evil ways and what's happening to them right then.
We have another event:
Joseph wept out of compassion when he
learned that his brother Benjamin had not
suffered the same plight he had suffered.
He often worried about his little brother.
What happened to Benjamin?
So, he really tested them in relationship to Benjamin.
...[And] when he looked up and saw his brother Benjamin...
See, they brought Benjamin down into
Egypt because Joseph said: I want you to bring the boy.
And eventually they were able to bring him.
Jacob said: No way. No way am I going to send Benjamin.
I don't want to lose Benjamin like I lost Joseph.
But finally he consented.
...[And] when [Joseph] looked up and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother's son,
he asked, "Is this your youngest brother
that you told me about?"
[And] then he said, "May God be
gracious to you, my son. ..."
Now Benjamin has no idea, of course,
who Joseph is.
...Joseph hurried out because he was
overcome with emotion for his brother [his little brother], and he was about to weep. ...
He controlled it for a bit until he got out of the room and then:
...He went into an inner room to weep.
This is a second reference right in the
biblical text to the fact that he wept.
Thirdly. Third event:
Joseph wept because he saw Judah's
true concern for his father Jacob.
That was another thing that he was looking for.
Do they really care about Jacob?
And they did. And he saw that. We read:
"Now please let your servant remain here
as my lord's slave, in place of the boy. ..."
Because you see, Joseph is still testing
them and he said: I'm going to keep Benjamin here.
And they said: Our father will die.
He'll have a heart attack.
And take me, keep me here instead of the boy.
"...Let him go back with his brothers. ..."
He's pleading now. Reuben's pleading with Joseph.
"...For how can I go back to my father
without the boy?
I could not bear to see the grief that
would overwhelm my father." ...
That was music to Joseph's ears.
Painful, but music to his ears.
...Joseph could no longer keep his
composure in front of all his attendants,
so he called out, "Send everyone away from me!" ...
They probably thought he was angry.
But he's being overcome with this emotion.
...No one was with him when he
revealed his identity to his brothers.
But he wept so loudly..."
This is wailing.
This is not just gentle weeping. This is wailing.
See, all of this pain is coming out and
the healing is taking place.
...He wept so loudly the Egyptians
heard it, and also Pharaoh's household heard it.
And they probably thought, you know,
Joseph was losing his mind.
They couldn't figure out what in the
world is going on.
But he was weeping over the relief that
the brothers even cared about their father.
Another event: Joseph wept when he was reconciled with his brothers.
And this was an incredible scene when he
actually revealed himself to his brothers.
Then Joseph threw his arms around
Benjamin and [he] wept, and Benjamin
wept on his shoulder.
Joseph kissed each [one] of his brothers...
Boy, this is forgiveness. This is healing.
...[He] kissed each [one] of his brothers as he wept...
What a scene that must have been.
...and afterward his brothers talked with him.
What an incredible reconciliation
between Joseph and his brothers.
And then if you move on. And what I'm
going to do is I'm going to jump you
ahead to the end of the story because we
have other references to his weeping.
Joseph wept when he was reunited with his father.
When Jacob came down into Egypt. And all his family.
Joseph hitched the horses to his chariot
[he] went up to Goshen to meet his father Israel.
[And] Joseph presented himself to him,
threw his arms around him, and wept for a long time.
This wasn't just a little season of crying.
This was being reunited.
The father--can you imagine what Jacob was feeling?
Because he thought he had been killed.
He thought he had been destroyed by a
wild animal all this time.
Another event: Joseph wept when his father died.
Obviously we could predict that.
We read about it:
Then Joseph, leaning over his father's face, wept and kissed him.
Another event: Joseph wept when he saw the grief
caused by his brothers' lingering guilt.
We're going to see that in just a moment.
I just wanted to jump you ahead to
show you again that Joseph wept.
So they sent this message to Joseph...
This is now after Jacob died.
The brothers got nervous.
..."Before he died your father gave a
command: 'Say this to Joseph:
Please forgive your brothers' transgression and
their sin--the wrong they caused you.' ..."
Joseph had already forgiven them.
But guilt kept the brothers from believing it.
They were afraid that he had been good
to them because of the father.
And so they conjured up this story,
which wasn't true:
"...Therefore, please forgive the
transgression of the servants of the God
of your father." ...
And when Joseph heard this--
even though he knew it probably was
conjured up to protect themselves.
...Joseph wept when their message came to him.
And so we see here, again and again,
in seven specific situations we read about
the fact that Joseph wept.
And I couldn't help but think about another person who wept.
His name is Jesus.
And the context was the death of His friend Lazarus.
This is not the first time Jesus wept.
He wept over Jerusalem because of the
rebellion of the religious leaders particularly.
Here, He lost His best friend.
Even knowing He was going to raise him
from the dead.
Seeing the pain that this caused Mary
and Martha, His two very good friends,
He actually wept. Identified with their pain and their sorrow.
And of course the exciting thing about
that is, Jesus can identify with our tears.
He was tempted in every way that we are, yet without sin.
And He identifies with our pain, with
our sorrow, and with our hurt.
He wept.
And there's incredible emotional healing.
God's gift of tears. Question:
What are some reasons why some
people have difficulty crying, even when
facing very emotionally wrenching circumstances?
Well there are various reasons.
And one of those reasons is that
insensitive parents have not let their children cry.
I think one of the cruelest things a
father could ever say to his son is: Big boys don't cry.
You grow up thinking big boys don't cry
and that can mark your life.
I feel sorry for big boys who can't cry.
I feel sorry for anyone who can't cry.
It's God's gift. It's God's gift of tears.
And God created that gift.
And we should not repress that gift.
Now obviously it can go out of control,
it can become manipulative, controlling,
but that's not what we're talking about.
When I am dealing with death it really
concerns me at times when I see those
who are involved not able to weep.
Now normally when grief hits, you weep.
And if you don't weep, sometimes that
can cause a lack of healing in a person's
life, because this is God's gift. The gift of tears.
And we see that certainly in Joseph's life.
Crying. When you grow up thinking crying is a
weakness, that can cause you to withhold
tears when you should be weeping.
You may need to do it in private.
You may need to do it in secret.
But it's God's gift.
Some people say: I've got to be strong.
But let's not forget that the Bible says
that many times our strength is made
perfect in weakness.
And that's one of the weaknesses that
can become our strength and bring
healing into our lives.
So when you look at the story of Joseph
you see God's gift of tears, and we see
the healing that took place in his life.