Our first guest is an actor, comedian,
and Oscar-nominated writer.
His new movie is called The Lovebirds,
which I enjoyed thoroughly.
Please welcome Kumail Nanjiani.
Hi.
Thanks for having me.
Hi, Kumail.
Hi.
[APPLAUDS]
Thanks for being where you are so I could talk to you there.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't leave this.
Yes.
Now, where are you exactly?
What area of the world?
I am in LA.
I'm sequestered in my home.
OK.
All right.
And how are you doing?
I'm OK.
I know they prepped me that there
would be a producer behind you, but he really is right there.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah, he's--
I don't have to be.
Yeah--
I'll stand over [INAUDIBLE].
No, he--
No, no, no, [INAUDIBLE].
No, he has things to say.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It really helps me if you're there.
Thank you so much.
I want to ask you, during this time of quarantine,
you have a lot of time to work out.
I'm wondering if you're still doing
that, because the last time, there
was this shirtless photo that went viral.
You were on the cover of Men's Health, fit as can be.
And--
Ridiculous.
Now, are you still maintaining that body?
I am.
Honestly, I work out as if my sanity depends on it.
So genuinely working out a lot to the point
where I hurt myself last week and had to take
a little bit of a break.
But I really was doing it so much,
because I was like, this is the only thing left
tethering me to sanity.
So yeah, I've been doing that a bunch.
Yeah.
Well, you look good.
And you look good in the movie that we'll
talk about soon, too.
I was thinking, God, your body is--
you're in great shape.
You went to Pakistan to see--
your dad is super proud of you, I understand.
He must be.
Yeah.
So it's interesting.
I didn't go to see them in Pakistan.
I went to see them in Jersey.
But out of everything I've ever done,
this is the thing that they are most proud of.
My aunts are texting me, like, we're so proud of you, Kumail.
And my dad-- my cousin made these socks with that picture
on them, and my dad has these socks.
And so on one side is a shirtless picture of me.
And on the other side is the same shirtless picture,
and it says "I am his dad" on it.
And I was like, why does it [INAUDIBLE]??
[LAUGHTER]
Because he was like, well, I didn't
want people to think I had just some naked Pakistani guy
on my sock, so I did that so that it wasn't embarrassing.
And I was like, mission accomplished, dad.
Yeah.
Well, that--
That's hilarious.
--makes total sense.
You have to explain it, because you
have to have that on your sock.
So you and your wife started this podcast about life
in quarantine.
Have you had tips for any--
quarantine tiff suggestions?
Well, I would say--
How's the talking going, Ellen?
Yeah, it's--
Not.
I feel like whenever I talk to somebody,
it's like, I have to now learn to talk again from scratch.
I would say the big tip, if you're a couple
or you're with someone--
just spend some time apart.
That's the best I could say.
Even if you don't have a huge house,
go into a different corner.
I'll just go to my garage and talk to the walls every day,
and our cat Bagel does the same thing.
In the day, we have breakfast together.
Then we go our separate way, and we get together again
for dinner.
That's been helpful.
And then dreams are great, because that's when
there are other people around.
And then you can really be like, can you
believe what Emily said yesterday?
So really, populate your dreams with people that aren't
the people you're living with.
Yeah.
I understand.
I look forward to dreaming also, because it
takes you [INAUDIBLE] another place, another situation.
Well, the other thing, Ellen, is my dreams sometimes
have no sense of imagination, because one big recurring dream
I have right now is that I'm just surrounded by bugs.
And I'm like, oh, wonder what that's about.
Would love a little break from being worried about bugs all
the time.
Yeah, just mundane stuff.
What are you doing when this is over?
What are you excited to do?
Oh, my God.
The list is long.
But honestly, I would-- so when those pictures came out,
The Rock--
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson--
reached out and was very complimentary.
I would love, someday, to work out with him.
I think that would be like a dream-- it
would be a little embarrassing.
It's like playing basketball with Jordan.
But I think that would be really fun to do.
So I'm putting this out in the universe.
Well, I'm sure that that will happen, especially
if he reached out to you.
That will be a really fun experience, I'm sure.
Andy and I-- I look forward to working out with Andy
when this is over.
Yeah.
Yeah, he and I work out a lot, like crazy.
We worked out with Wahlberg.
Yeah, he's wearing the--
He's pretty fit.
--Nike sweatshirt.
You did.
Yeah.
No, he's ha--
That's the most athletic thing about me--
Yeah.
--is the sweatshirt.
Yeah.
He slow walks.
All right.
We're going to take a break.
And we'll be back and talk more about other things
that I'm able to speak about.
We'll be back.