[Death Note: L's Theme plays]
-Shut up!
-[thinking]: I'm so bored.
I just wish something supernatural would happen right now.
What the hell?
"If you write the full name of a person in this book,
that person will die five seconds.
The cause of death will always be suffocation"?
Ha. Right.
-(woman) Let go! Help!
This man's trying to steal my purse. Let go!
-[laughs evilly]
The name's Cecil Adams,
the most notorious handicapped bandit west of the Mississippi!
-[thinking]: Huh. Let's see...
"Cecil... Adams."
-[laughing]
[watch ticking]
-[thinking]: Man, I knew it was fake.
-[gasps]
[choking]
-[thinking]: No way!
-[gagging]
[flame whoosh]
-[gasps]
-(man 1) Did that guy just choke himself to death?
-(man 2) Cool. Didn't think that was possible.
-[thinking]: Sweet mother of God.
-So, you write any person's name in that thing and they die?
-Of suffocation.
-Like, they suffocate themselves?
-Yeah, in any way possible, I guess.
-I thought it was impossible to suffocate yourself.
-Yeah, why don't you prove it?
Write my name in there.
-Um... okay.
All right, Peter, what's your last name?
-Peter.
-No, your last name.
-Peter.
-So, your full name is Peter Peter?
-My parents are crack addicts.
-(both) Ohh.
-Okay...
"Peter... Peter."
Here we go.
[watch ticking, suspenseful music playing]
[wind whistles]
-I knew you guys were full of sh--
[choking, Anthony gasps]
-Oh, my God!
-[restricted]: Make it stop.
-[nervously]: Uh... I don't know if I can.
-[gags gutterally]
-Oh, my God, dude, you gotta get rid of that thing.
-No. Don't you get it, Anthony?
With this book, I can change the world.
I can rid this world of all the filth!
Serial killers...
-[groans]
-(Ian) Robbers...
-[gasps, groans]
-(Ian) Cast of the Jersey Shore...
-[groaning]
-(Ian) I am going to purify this world
and nobody... is gonna get... in my way.
I...
am...
Justice!
[laughing maniacally]
-Quiet down out here.
I can't hear Wheel of Fortune over your stupid laugh.
-You can't tell me what to do anymore, Mom.
[chuckles devilishly]
You're gonna die, Mom.
[chuckles]
[watch ticks]
But that doesn't make any sense.
I wrote your whole name on here. Look.
-My name's not Mom, dumbass.
-I've called you Mom all these years
and I don't even know your real name?
-And you never will.
[laughs sinisterly]
-Never mind that.
[sinisterly]: I have work to do.
[newscast theme plays]
-According to sources,
every criminal in the world is now dead.
-Whoa. Congrats, man, that's great.
-It's not enough.
-But you killed every criminal in the entire world.
-That guy's looking at me funny.
-Looks pretty normal to me.
-I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit!
[dramatic music playing]
-[gags]
-That's better.
-Dude, he didn't even do anything.
-Come on, he had a pedo-stache.
I'm sure he's guilty of something.
-You have to stop this, man. You can't play God anymore!
"Write the name of a person who is dead,
and they will be brought back to life"?
-Oh, I see how it is.
You think you decide who lives and dies?
[laughing maniacally]
[climatic music playing]
-[gagging]
-You'll never defeat me!
-Yes... I... will!
-Fine!
[scribbles]
[chuckles devilishly]
-You son of a bitch.
[scribbles]
-[scoffs] What's that gonna do?
-You'll see.
-Wait.
No!
-The old switcheroo. [chuckles]
-[groaning]
-[laughing maniacally]
[continues laughing]
Captioned by SpongeSebastian
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click the link in the description below!
-¿Qué?
-(announcer) Thanks for subscribing!
And if you are going to,
could you give me your full name, please?
[laughs creepily]